Tattle on yourself : Anonymous Spankworthy Deeds GAME

 Updated 12/21 : Due to overwhelming naughtiness, no more confessions will be accepted. We’ll revisit this game soon!

Readers,

I thought it would be fun to give you all the chance to ‘tattle on yourselves’ – tell me (and everyone else reading) what you’ve done to earn a spanking.

Maybe there’s something from thirty years ago that you still feel guilty about, or maybe it’s something you just did last night, but everyone’s done something that deserves being taken over the knee for a sound disciplinary spanking. I’d love to know what YOU have done…

…so let’s make it even more fun. Leave your ‘confession’ anonymously in the comments section, so that even I won’t know who you are, and you’ll be free to really tell the truth. Maybe it’ll even make you feel better to tattle on yourself a bit.

Then I’ll reply with your ‘sentence’ – what I consider the appropriate disciplinary action based on your confession. For example, if you stole a piece of bubble gum fifteen years ago, you’d likely be sentenced to a stern talking-to about the evils of stealing and a short but sharp OTK hand spanking. If, on the other hand, you committed grand theft auto yesterday,  your sentence would likely be 100 judicial cane strokes while fully bound.

Sounds fun, right? (Considering that you don’t have to endure an ACTUAL punishment, you can even act all tough and pretend that your sentence is ‘no big deal’, as I *know* some of you will.)

 

Alright, boys and girls, this one time…it’s Okay to Tattle, on yourself….

My maternal grandmother had this same paddle hanging on a nail on the wall, within arm's reach, behind her recliner.
My maternal grandmother had this same paddle hanging on a nail on the wall, within arm’s reach, behind her recliner. Being the absolute innocent angel I was (and am), I have nothing to confess.

 

–  Dana

 

* Before you get started, keep in mind that I will not publish any comment containing filthy language. Seriously. Stop it.

** Also, don’t email me privately to make your confession. If you can’t tattle on yourself publicly (albeit anonymously), then you don’t get to play.

*** Finally, please remember that this is a GAME – it’s not real life. My comments are meant to be taken with a grain of salt. Don’t go getting your ass on your shoulders.

129 Replies to “Tattle on yourself : Anonymous Spankworthy Deeds GAME”

  1. I remember when I was young 9 or 10 maybe. I had a favorite clown doll at some point It managed to get bird poop on it. So I ended up giving it to my best friend. One day when I was over at his house I saw the stuffed clown all nice and clean so I stole it back.
    We moved later that year and I lost touch with him and didn’t see him again until we were both in our mid 30s. I shared with him over coffee about it and he didn’t even remember it at all.

    1. Dear Tattletale,

      Tsk tsk…some best friend you were! First you passed off your dirty-birdy toy to another boy, then turned around and stole it back again – two offenses in one.

      You’re getting points for coming clean eventually, but I still think you need a little more time to think about it – twenty minutes with your nose pressed firmly in the corner, standing only in your underpants.

      When you’re done there, you’ll have to come willingly across my lap for the stingy, bare-bottom hand spanking you deserved all those years ago. I’ll stop when I think your conscience is as clean as that stolen clown doll.

      – Dana

    2. ive got real dirty outside on a rainy day,than tracked in alot of dirton a clean floor than was spotless a ahile back.what is my punishment Dana :

  2. My best friend’s father was admitted to the hospital today to have surgery for a broken neck. It was supposed to take place today at some point but has beeb delayed a day or 2. Coincidentally my ‘job of the month’s’ Christmas party is tonight…after work…on a Tuesday…with expectation to be back bright and early in the am for ANOTHER stress fest. In NO WAY, shape or form do I want to spend an IOTA of extra seconds socializing on MY time.
    I told the manager I was going to the hospital even though I am not planning to until after the surgery takes place.

    I deliberately stomped on someone’s foot on the bus the other day because the person REPEATEDLY banged into me without saying the magic words, “Excuse me. I’m sorry.”

    In 1987 I checked out a library book from High School. I never returned it and eventually threw it away before a move.

    Years ago, I received a pay check from some company I worked for. I received a duplicate paycheck and CONSIDERED keeping both but figured I’d get caught and had to return it.

    1. Dear Tattletale,

      Three-in-one with a good deed thrown in at the end – somebody’s trying to ‘soften the blow’, so to speak..

      1. If you’re grown up enough to skip a party, you’re grown up enough to give an honest reason, like, “I don’t want to go, thanks.”
      2. Two wrongs don’t make a right.
      3. You threw a book away?! Oh, that’s it….

      Considering all the evidence you’ve provided, it sounds to me like you need a long paddling, with very little warm-up. An attitude adjustment is most certainly in order! We’ll start over your pants but move quickly down past your undies then directly to those bare cheeks. Let’s start with 100 and see just how long that attitude stays in place.

      – Dana

  3. So.. When I was younger (elementary years) I would go to Catholic Church with my father, who helped count the collections. He would let me help, and we were pretty poor growing up, so I would sneak 1’s, 5’s and the occasional 10 or 20 during the counting session. Then I would leave it around the house, mostly in the basement where my dad would sleep off his benders, so that he thought it was his. So basically, I stole from Church. SMH

    1. Dear Tattletale,

      You’ve given me a toughie here, because even we all know by that age that stealing is wrong, I believe you did what you did out of kindness and care for your family rather than outright badness. To your young mind, you were helping, and that’s what the church says it does with that money, right? You just cut out the middleman..

      With that said, guilt is a heavy burden. If you’re feeling bad about it all these years later, the best thing to do is give you a cathartic, cleansing spanking that will help you let go of that guilt. No fussing, no cussing, just enough discomfort that you feel disciplined; over the knee, of course, and using nothing more than my bare hand, for an extended but loving spanking.

      – Dana

  4. I took 3 days off work and told my boss my already passed grandfather, who I barely know, passed away. My brother-in-law’s dad actually did pass and I wanted to attend the funeral, but I didn’t need 3 bereavement days. Oops

    1. Dear Tattletale,

      Do you ever wonder how many times bosses hear the ‘my grandpa’ died story? You must be one of those folks with a REALLY big family..

      Next time you feel like taking three days off for no good reason, think about all the work that causes other people in your absence – and how much catching up you’ll have to do when you get back. (Not to mention that lying about your dead grandfather dying again is just wrong.)

      Since you’ve shown no empathy for your boss, coworkers, or grandpa, you’ll receive your discipline standing, bent over with your hands gripping your ankles, and will, after each stroke of my leather belt, repeat, “Lying is naughty”.

      I think 50 is an appropriate number.

      – Dana

  5. I once stole a credit card when I was younger. I was on the street and needed food. Yes I got caught. but I got a slap on the wrist and sent away

    1. Dear Tattletale,

      While I understand the need to feed oneself, I’m wondering if the ONLY thing you used that cc for was food?…Was that the only purpose for the theft? In most places there are food banks, free lunch programs, and shelters which provide meals..

      Maybe at that time in your life a slap on the wrist was the best thing (young people often react negatively to discipline, doncha know), but now that you’re all grown up it’s time to pay the piper.

      Since I usually equate youthful misdeeds with the need for stronger maternal influence, you’ll be going over my knee for a stinging bare-hand warmup spanking, to be followed by a sound but short paddling, just to reinforce the point. Any misbehavior during your discipline will land you smack in the corner for twenty minutes.

      – Dana

  6. Alrighty, taking this seriously, here is what I most feel guilty about: I once robbed the restaurant that I had been a long-term (6+ years) employee of, mainly because I knew I could get away with it. I planned it for months, and when I pulled it off, I got a lot of credit card receipts and about $10,000 cash. Nobody ever mentioned the theft at the restaurant, which I quickly realized was because they knew it must have been an inside job (I opened the safe, and turned off the alarm) and they were waiting for someone to out themselves by mentioning it. I never did. The manager working that night got fired soon afterwards. The only mitigating factor I can mention is that I did use the money to go to school which I otherwise could not have afforded, and I have used my education to help many people in need. Stilll, I feel guilty and regret what I did, but I am happy I did not get caught…until now!

    1. Dear Tattletale,

      No two ways about it: you committed a major crime and should have been duly and judiciously punished for it. Allowing someone else to take the fall, lose their job, and then using your education as excuse for keeping the monies – all point to the fact that you don’t feel nearly as guilty about this as you should.

      That leads me to believe that you’ve either made this up (let’s hope so), or are in need of more discipline than I am willing to provide. No spanking will make up for this one, friend. Get back to me once you’ve made amends with your former employer and terminated co-worker and we’ll discuss the judicial caning you so very much deserve.

      – Dana

  7. When I was in the third grade we were living in Alaska. On our street there were two lots that were wooded. One day I was playing in the lots and decided to start a fire by an old dead tree. It seemed like no big deal as it was Alaska after all and people had fires all the time. So I started a small fires and played with it for a while until it started to get bigger. I got scared and threw some dirt mixed with leaves and sticks on the fire. Thinking it would go out. I ran home and forgot about it until about 30 minutes or so I heard a fire truck coming down the road. I was scared and after a few minutes I poked my head out the door and saw the fire truck and police there. I ran up to my room and hid. The next day I found out that the old tree had caught fire and was burning pretty good. A neighbor saw a kid playing in the woods just before the fire started and told the cops. The neighbor told the cops that it was the boy next door who started the fire so he got into a lot of trouble with the cops and his parents. Of course I never told anyone I actually did it.

    1. Dear Tattletale,

      You may have gotten off the hook (a little) for the fire, as accidents to happen when boys are being naughty, but allowing another person to take responsibility for your actions has landed you in hot water..

      Can you imagine the spanking that boy took for your bad behavior? It’s probably something similar to what you’ve earned : dragged into the house by the upper arm, writhing and twisting to avoid the hand smacks already landing on your butt, then pants pulled down and being yanked down otk for a hard hand spanking while you cry and try to explain, before being made to ‘bring me the punishment paddle’.

      That’s when the real discipline will start. You’ll get about ten times what I think your neighbor did – it’s only fair that you pay ‘interest’ on all these years.

      – Dana

  8. Dear Miss Dana,
    I want to tell you one mischief that my mother didn’t punish because she never found it.
    It happened about 30 years ago when i was about 6 old. I was playing with my cousin (the same age). We had a fight and I gave him a punch. He reacted and gave me a punch on stomach. I cried a lot and accused him to my aunt and my mother. He had a bad reputation and so my aunt believed it was only his fault. She slapped and spanked him a lot in my home and later she spanked him again by woden spoon in her’s house. My cousin had a terrible painful spanking whereas I was not punished. During my childhood I have often avoided punishment by accusing other kids because I feared a lot spankings of my mom. She was pitiless during my punishments.
    Today I have a bit of remorse and I dream to come back kid in order to have my deserved spanking too.
    Indeed, when I will be able to arrange a session with a disciplinarian my wish is a role play which recreate this scenario to pay my sin.

    1. Dear Tattletale,

      If this were a one-time offense I may have been inclined to handle it differently, but you’ve admitted that you often blamed others for your misbehavior – that calls for more strict discipline..

      First, you’ll receive exactly the same thing that your cousin did way back then – I’ll use my heaviest wooden spoon on your backside until it’s stinging like fire then make you lie face down on the sofa while I get out my most thick and heavy leather strap. Twenty-five strokes across your already sore bottom should teach you to take more responsibility in the future, but just to make sure, you’ll spend 30 minutes in the corner after your spanking – and you will NOT rub your bottom at all.

      – Dana

    2. Yes, Miss Dana, it is a an appropriate punishment for my childhood misbehavior and now I know what I could receive if I arrange a session with you to pay my ancient naughtiness! I deserve exactly it.
      Have you some pictures of your heaviest wooden spoon and most thick and heavy leather strap? Where Can I see them?

    3. I own more than four hundred different implements of spank, dear. There’s no way I’m going to photograph ’em. But you’re welcome to use your imagination to make it the biggest, scariest spoon ever.~

    4. Dear Miss,
      are you going to publish a list of worst brats of us?
      What is my positioning?

    5. You just earned yourself one dozen smacks from my biggest paddle for leaving unnecessary comments.

      Bend over.

      – Dana

  9. When I was in middle school, I had a breathtakingly beautiful school teacher who I naturally had a crush on. I was also quite the cut-up so I’d take any opportunity I could to make smart alecky comments to get her attention. One day I got really carried away and took up so much of her time with my pathetic and transparent flirting that she made me stay after class. All I got was a mild scolding but I really should have been dealt with more harshly.

    1. Dear Tattletale,

      This isn’t a confession – it’s a fantasy. You missed out on a well-deserved spanking from a teacher you thought was pretty and can’t get that image out of your mind.

      I’ll bet that now, looking back, you almost wish you’d misbehaved MORE, in order to have really been spanked that day..

      The best thing to do is try our best to re-create that event, having it end the right way (with a hard spanking from teacher, right there in the classroom – I happen to have this spencer paddle handy).

      – Dana

    2. I underestimated you, Ms. Kane. The scenario I explained really did happen, but I’ve fantasized many times about how it “should” have played out. Alas, this was long before I realized that I was a spanko. If I did, maybe I would have tried harder.

      Thanks for the response and the fun game. :)

    3. Maybe if you’d gotten that spanking, you wouldn’t be a spanko today…ever think of that?

    4. If that teacher had actually bared my bottom, taken me over her knee and spanked me, I think I would have converted to the Church of Spanking that very minute!

  10. When I was in high school, my teacher sometimes had students swap papers after a quiz or test, then, he would read the correct answers and expect us to mark all of the wrong answers on the paper we had and give it the proper grade. On several occasions, if I was trading the paper of a very good friend, I would change all of their wrong answers to right answers and give them a perfect grade.

    1. Dear Tattletale,

      Do you think you did your friend any favors by helping him skate by on those grades? I’m sure that, at the time, it seemed harmless enough, but you still knew it was wrong.

      Had you been caught, you’d probably have ended up in the assistant principal’s office, and then sent home with a note at the very least.

      If you brought me a note telling me you’d been caught cheating, you’d get the same thing you’re going to get now : A stern talking-to that would make any teenager’s ears rattle, then having you bring me the hairbrush from my dressing table, followed by the horrid embarrassment of making you drop both your pants and underwear around your ankles, then bending over my lap to have the point driven home by a five minute hairbrush spanking that you’ll remember for a very long time.

      – Dana

    2. Thank you, Ms. Kane!
      I actually
      Never felt bad about changing other people’s answers until the teacher handed me a paper to grade that was from a girl I really wanted to like me, and he said, “Can I
      Trust you to grade this one?”
      After that, I always figured he might have known what I had been doing and just been
      Nice enough not to call me out on it.

  11. When I was in high school, I “looked after” a neighbor’s house while they were on vacation…taking in mail, watering the plants, feeding the cat, etc. I quickly discovered the lady of the house’s lingerie drawer and on several occasions, *ahem* entertained myself with her silky underthings as a boy that age might. Everything was put back EXACTLY where I found it…after I handwashed them, of course.

    I once utilized her bikini bottom for my entertainment and must say I had a secret delight when I’d see her wearing said bikini around the pool.

    Please, Ms. Kane…a punishment worthy of my crime.

    1. Dear Tattletale,

      Are you sure you actually did this and didn’t just read it in Penthouse Forums? Tell the truth…

      If you did, in fact, repeatedly and without her knowledge, use your neighbor lady’s unmentionables in the execution of…well, more unmentionables, then you’re going to have to be treated like the dirty boy you’ve shown yourself to be.

      First, a shower. You’re to scrub yourself from head to toe, so you’ll be nice and clean…but before you’re able to dry yourself, I’m going to grab you out of the shower, reach my arm around your waist, bend you over and go to town on your butt with the acrylic bathbrush. Everyone knows that it hurts even more when you’re wet, and I’m going to make sure that you pay dearly for those youthful indiscretions. I’ll stop spanking when your butt cheeks match the color of the bathbrush – purple.

      Then maybe, just for fun, I’ll make you spend the rest of the day dressed in a pair of ‘silky underthings’.

      – Dana

    2. 100 percent true. Reading it over, I can see why you might think otherwise, but, yep. Menlo Park, CA, in fact! Her name was Barbara, but we’ll leave it at that!

      Thank you, ma’am.

  12. Dana, I too have little to confess. The only thing I can recall, that’s even close to being naughty, happened way back in high school. I feel somewhat bad about my part, except it still causes me to laugh out loud remembering the details.

    My girlfriend, Kara, worked as a student coach for the JV girl’s tennis team. Kara had the usual responsibilities: picking up balls, stroking where needed and so on. She also worked closely with the women’s coach Ms. Lee on court scheduling, match rankings, and other duties. Best of all, though, was that Kara had access to the coach’s office.

    I’m not sure –Kara probably had the idea–but it first started one time when Ms. Lee was teaching a regular high school PE session. Her office was locked, as usual, but Kara had the key and we snuck in. Ms. Lee was so organized: uncluttered desk, dusted filing cabinet, squared team photos. To give you an idea of what a primitive time it was, Ms. Lee even kept a wooden paddle hanging (perfectly plumb) from a nail in the wall. Kara had never seen it used, but the rumors were that the paddle had seen action in the dark ages, motivating team players for important matches, and in debriefings afterwards. (I don’t know about you, Dana, but paddling seems so, so dinosaurish, doesn’t it? )

    I wasn’t really a willing accomplice, but I figured we needed to work fast. I’m pretty sure we would have got detention or something if we were caught. So, we took the cover off Coach’s racket and I started to work. I happened to have a pocket knife with me (something they wouldn’t tolerate these days!). Back then, tennis rackets were strung with gut. I had to be really careful sawing through the strings just the right amount.

    When we left Coach Lee’s office, all was back to normal, except that the strings in the center of her racket had imperceptible nicks from a knife. Of course, over the course of the year, those strings gave way in practice and play much more frequently than normal. But always in the center. Kara and I complimented Ms. Lee on her precision hitting (and tried not to snicker).

    Since I’ve written this, I’m really questioning why I thought it belonged with a group of confessions. It’s just pretty simple fun that we had. I’m sure that if the coach knew about it now, she’d join in laughing at our hijinks. Maybe it should be included to show good-hearted innocent fun compared to what your other readers may submit.

    1. Dear Tattletale,

      I love that you’ve managed to pardon yourself during the course of your confession – that may be a first..

      Regardless of whether or not it was harmless, you still did something that would surely have landed you in trouble at the time. I’m sure that it was not the school’s intention for you and your friend to use your trusted access to a teacher’s office to destroy her property.

      Good-hearded innocent fun, indeed. For this, I’ll have you pull that wooden paddle down off it’s nail on the wall, hand it to me, place your hands on the desk in front of you (after you’ve dropped your pants, of course) and deliver ten good, hard whacks to your bottom. After each I’d like to hear you say, in a loud, clear voice, “It’s not funny to break other people’s things.”

      – Dana

    2. Thank you, Dana.

      And if that paddle happens to break, exactly in the middle, on the first hard whack, I’ll just smile and complement you on your precision paddling.

  13. While I was working for a client I was about to fire whom I had responsibilities for reconciling fee’s and expense accounts I came across a line item that hadn’t been accounted for and if not corrected by a particular date would men a loss for my client, in an amount that was somewhat substantial. This client had fallen behind on their payments to me and I wasn’t happy with them so knowing that this missed line item would negatively impact them almost in the amount I was owed I simply let it go. I didn’t profit from it in any way other than knowing that even though I wasn’t going to be paid at least that money was not going to end up in their accounts.

    1. Dear Tattletale,

      Righteous indignation, huh? As you know, it’s never okay to ‘get back’ at someone in this way..

      What you did would have probably gotten you fired, had it been known that it was done with malice – messing with people’s money is naughty-naughty (as you found out when someone messed with yours), and definitely a spank-worthy offense.

      I’m going to grab a small wooden paddle, have you lie across my lap, and give you one whack (no warmups!) for every dollar that you misappropriated. Let’s hope, for your sake, that it wasn’t much.

      – Dana

    2. Wait, I didn’t actually take any money. I think the fact that I didn’t, should count for something. It’s a simple small sin of omission and after all I had to sue to get the money they owed me. That sounds pretty square to me. I say they should be the ones getting lots of attention from the little wooden paddle…Thank you in advance for agreeing.

    3. You’ve just earned yourself an additional thirty minute silent time-out for sassing.

  14. I stalk a whole bunch of spanking websites
    against my wife’s will. When she asks what I
    am doing, I make up lies about paying bills
    online and other stuff like that.

    1. Dear Tattletale,

      Looking at spanking websites is perfectly acceptable; lying to your wife about it isn’t..

      If you are unable to have an open and honest conversation with your partner about your interest in spanking, then you should at the very least keep those interests firmly to yourself. If you’re being obvious enough that she’s asking – and you’re lying – then you have more than one problem. Get right with your wife first, or you may find yourself with no one to lie to anymore.

      Disciplinarily, this calls for something pretty strict, since trust and honesty are two of the most important components of any relationship.

      A cold caning. You will repeat, “My wife is more important than spanking,” after each stroke – the number of which will be determined by how well you convince me of your repentance (currently, I’m not feeling much contrition coming from you so you’re likely in for a long day).

      – Dana

    2. I will confess to my wife tonight, and ask for her forgiveness. I have a feeling it may result in getting the silent treatment for a very long time.

      Hopefully she will decide to give me the spanking I deserve for my lying.

    3. The silent treatment is a small price to pay for trust. Behave yourself – and if you want a spanking, try earning one with GOOD behavior. Sheesh.

  15. Again kiddos, you MUST SIGN OUT of your account in order to comment anonymously – if your comment shows your username I won’t post it. The idea here is that nobody knows who anybody else is…

    – Dana

  16. Sorry Miss, first time I disobeyed your instructions and posted my name and email when you explicitly said not to.

    I have also spent time looking at spanking websites when I should be working thus abusing the trust of my clients who are paying me for their time. Just because they have not been watching me I have taken liberties with them.

    1. Dear Tattletale,

      Oh my, you’ve chosen the wrong day to disobey the rules..

      Since it seems like you’re spending too much time sitting on your butt, I think it’s a good idea to make it so that you can’t sit at all for a bit. You’ll drop your pants for a long paddling (I’ll stop when I think I’ve achieved the right level of can’t-sit-down-ness) – and when we’re all done you can take your six cane strokes for mis-posting the first time.

      – Dana

  17. Well this happened about 10 years ago. I was 18 and just graduated high school. I was never a big fan of school and my dad was in the trades and a number of my friends were also going to go into the trades after high school, so therefore I never had any desire to go onto college. My mom however being a teacher was determined that I was going to go to college and made me at least try one year. Even though my dad and a few others told her it was a waste of time and money. She however did not believe that. So I did end up going, and since I really had no desire to attend class which I rarely did, I decided I was going to have fun and live it up for a year. Now also my mom did pay for everything and it didn’t cost me a dime I never had to take out one loan. So as the year went on and I didn’t really attend class I ended up failing a fair share of my courses and that was my stint in college. She thought I was going to go and have a good time and want to stay unfortunately for her it did backfire and while I did have fun I never had any intention of going to class or studying. Now when I returned it wasn’t a shock to anyone and nobody made a big deal about it. I am in the trades now and luckily I do have a good job. I have just felt guilty for a while about letting my mom down.

    1. Dear Tattletale,

      Do you feel guilty because you disappointed your mom, or because you disappointed yourself? Or both?..

      You’re going to need a hard over the knee hand spanking, my bare hand on your bare butt, to release some of that guilt, and so you won’t have an excuse to feel sorry for yourself anymore. Do your job – do it well – and be proud of yourself. Maybe twenty minutes in the corner after your spanking will help you remember that.

      – Dana

  18. Since a half year I’m allowed to work at home one of the three days in a week I work. In the beginning I was working the 8 hours I have to work at home, but for the last months I only work a couple of hours and the rest of the time I’m doing things I like more. My boss is happy about my work and my colleagues don’t have to much work and I’m not working for a little company, but for a huge Bank (with enough money) but I still feel guilty about it but I think it’s very hard to change this habit.

    1. Dear Tattletale,

      Wasting company time is the same thing as stealing.

      It doesn’t matter whether you work for a coffee shop or a Fortune 500 company, you should be doing your best work. If that means that you need to get up every morning at a specific time, dress as though you were actually going to work, and keep yourself to a schedule, quitting at 4pm, then so be it. It’s easy to get into a bad habit, and much harder, indeed, to get out of it..

      You need some motivation. We’ll start by having you fully dressed for work, so that you connect the spanking with the problem, then you can bend right over that home desk and grip the sides. I’ll help you off with those office clothes, and you can stand perfectly still while I whack away at your backside with my leather belt. I’ll stop when you promise to stop being lazy.

      – Dana

  19. When I was 13 I was fascinated with women’s lingerie and began stealing bras and panties in my neighborhood off of clotheslines, from laundry mats, and dressers of neighbors when I was doing jobs in their houses. Once at a friend’s house ,who had an attractive mother, I stole one of her bras out of her dresser. I also peeked through the window of a food processing plant at the end of the last shift and watched the ladies change back into their street clothes.

    1. Dear Tattletale,

      A naughty little thief and peeker, huh?

      Okay, mister peeker, since you like looking at others so much, let me take a good look at you – strip! You’ll take your discipline fully nude, standing in the middle of the room, while I circle you, intermittently staring and smacking your cheeks with a long-handled paddle. When you’re so embarrassed and distressed that you start crying…..

      …I still won’t stop.

      – Dana

  20. I was in high school and I attended a big banquet at a hotel ballroom to receive some award. A benediction was given by a priest before the ceremony and everyone in attendance was asked to stand while the priest gave his speech. But I, being the rebellious brat that I was, made a big show of planting myself in my chair and sitting down while he spoke. It’s years later and I still feel like a jerk for doing it.

    1. Dear Tattletale,

      So you’re one of those show-offs – I know just what you need..

      A public spanking. I’ll take you someplace very public and VERY crowded, grab you by the arm, and start smacking you with my hand right then and there.

      It doesn’t have to be super hard, and it doesn’t have to take a very long time..just long enough for everyone to see, finally, your bratty butt getting spanked.

      – Dana

    2. I would really deserve that. And it would make it a lot harder for me to sit down at inappropriate times!!!

  21. Dear Ms. Kane,

    When I was going to college, I worked at a religious camp (as a lifeguard/dishwasher), along with numerous other young people in their late teens/early twenties.

    One of my co-workers was my first cousin, whom I’ll call Miriam (assistant cook), who was a few months younger than me and a year behind me in schooling: we’d been close since early childhood and I was very fond of her and she seemingly felt the same way about me.

    One of the teasing things which my two other male co-workers and myself (this was my idea) did was to pretend that our feminine counterparts were a criminal gang, parallel to the “Barrow Gang” (Bonnie and Clyde) , the supposed “scourge of the Southwest” in the 1930s, and we (actually I) gave them gangster-sounding nicknames.

    This was all meant in good-natured fun, but I gave Miriam the nickname “Baby Fat,” based on “Baby Face” Nelson. I thought it was rather clever, since she was just a touch overweight, but she was offended. Unfortunately, I just considered her to be a spoilsport who couldn’t take a bit of playful teasing, although I did eventually stop using that nickname for her.

    Later on, after relating to other women with weight/body image issues (notably my wife), I came to realize that I’d seriously hurt Miriam’s feelings because she was sensitive about her plumpness (which I actually thought was attractive). She didn’t hold a grudge about it and indeed never brought the issue up again, yet I still feel somewhat guilty about being so insensitive way back then. (I know this is just a game, but I do sometimes feel I deserve a good hiding from her, however we don’t live in the same area of the country–I only see her occasionally and briefly, and never alone.)

    Well, that’s my confession, it is genuine…

    1. Dear Tattletale,

      Yours was another of those sad youthful mistakes that we all usually wish we could take back, once we’re grown and have a little bit of sense..

      Yes, you deserve to be spanked for calling the poor girl such an ugly name, and I’m sure that she’s never forgotten it, whether she mentions it or not. So, on behalf of Miriam, I’m sentencing you to the spanking you should’ve gotten then:

      I’m going to drag you into the kitchen, away from all the other campers, and yank your swim trunks down around your ankles; you’ll get over my lap without saying a single word, mister, and take your discipline – the hardest hand spanking you can possibly imagine. Just when you think it can’t go on any longer, I’ll start on your sit spot..then your upper thighs..then back to your butt again.

      By the time I’m done with you, you’ll feel like you’ve paid your dues, if only a little.

      – Dana

    2. Dear Ms. Kane,

      Thanks for your reply. You’re quite a good psychologist, as an expert disciplinarian presumably would be.

      Chastising me in the kitchen would remove me from my area of authority (the waterfront) into Miriam’s (thus yours as her proxy), while taking my swimming suit all the way down to my ankles would momentarily eliminate my authority status as lifeguard. My silence would constitute tacit admittance that I deserve my punishment (which I clearly do).

      Smacking me with only your palm at first struck me as you ‘going easy’on me, but now I’m thinking that a lengthy, emphatic handspanking from a professional disciplinarian could well be quite strenuous, with the heat and sting steadily building on my buttcheeks. Also, my offense was a very personal one against someone I was close to, thus a bare-hand-to-bare-bottom OTK spanking would be an appropriately intimate chastisement.

      My inconsiderate behavior toward Miriam fortunately didn’t damage our relationship (geographic distance later led to much less contact), it happened a long time ago and I’ve never brought it up to her–but perhaps someday I will, possibly along with your response.

  22. I can think of two things to confess: I used to play in a regular poker game and I used to periodically cheat by dealing from the bottom of the deck, essentially stealing from friends. And maybe even worse, but similarly, growing up I used to occasionally go into my father’s dresser drawer and take a ten or twenty from his wallet, whenever he came home late the night before, as I knew he would never remember. He never gave me an allowance, so I got it through theft.

    1. Dear Tattletale,

      I’m guessing from the language of your comment that you were pretty mad at your dad and probably felt justified taking that money, even though you knew it was wrong. Same thing with cheating your friends – you probably thought yourself cleverer for fooling them, thus justifying the theft.

      You need to have that attitude of deservedness knocked down a peg or two, don’t you? (Let me guess – you’re an entitled adult, too? Don’t answer that, it’s rhetorical.)

      Bring me the barber strop from the peg on the wall, and bend over the back of the sofa. Thieves get punished, and there’s no warm-up in punishment.

      Twenty lashes with my thick, stiff leather barber strop should shock some sense into you..

      – Dana

  23. Sometimes when I’m shopping and want to smell new perfume scents or feel skin moisturizers, I just feel free to open the UNTESTER bottles, nozzles and just spray or slather away.
    Security cam film at 11?

    1. Dear Tattletale,

      Another entitled adult…I’m shocked.

      You have a short fuse and a big attitude, don’t you? (Again, rhetorical..)

      I think we’re going to have to handle this OTK, because you probably can’t be trusted to hold still. Also, I’ll probably shove something in your mouth, because you’re also equally likely to say something that will just make it worse.

      Once you’ve stripped to your underwear, I’ll get you into a nice, tight leglock before going to town on your smartypants backside with the mean end of my wooden hairbrush. We’ll see how entitled you feel after about five minutes of that.

      – Dana

  24. Oh dear, it’s Christmas time again. ah….well….ah….you see Ms Dana that last Christmas Eve I got everything all ready for Santa’s visit. The tree was the best I’ve ever done, great lights, perfectly done garlands and the many ornaments each with a great thought of who and when and where they first appeared on one of our trees. So it was getting late….and I had put out a plate of most excellent cookies that the wife had baked especially for Santa. She had already gone to bed. I ended up wandering around the web and may have probably looked at one or two of your videos and kinda lost track of time and…..well….I was thirsty and those cookies looked so good over there on the table by the tree next to the chimney where I knew ole Saint Nick would soon be arriving. Oh, Ms Dana, I drank Santa’s glass of milk and ate all 3 of the cookies….and then went to bed. There was no switches nor coal in my stocking in the morning so I kinda figured that the jolly fellow was already stuffed with other goodies that night…..still….I’ve felt a little guilty all year long. And now…..this next Christmas Eve is about here. I’m so sorry, Ma’am…..really, really I am.

    Santa’s naughty helper

    1. Dear Tattletale,

      Your sentence is one really hard slap, right across your smartass mouth. (Merry Christmas)

      – Dana

  25. Dear Ms Cane……

    A mom in my neighborhood had that exact souvenir paddle that sat on her coffee table in the main room of her home. I was best friends with her son…..we were both in the same home room in Junior High at the time. His older sister was in High School and one afternoon while we were in his room playing some game or something we overheard his mom scolding his sister out in the main room. She was in a lot of trouble and pretty soon we heard that paddle landing on a bare bottom. Oh my gosh, she was getting one heck of a paddling. Now we were not strangers to spankings back then but this was a HIGH SCHOOL girl…a girl getting paddled. OMG…..my heart was in my throat as I just had to sneak down the hallway and watch. I could not believe the scene, Ms Dana. Daughter was bent over the back of the family couch. She was totally bare from the waist down. Her bottom was blazing red and….well….I could see everything, Ma’am. Yes…..my first look at girl parts as she kicked and squirmed over the couch. Mom was so busy paddling that she never saw me and I never told anyone about what I saw. But over the years, I have thought about that scene a number of times. It is still exciting to consider and No, Ma’am….this is not a fictitious tale from the pages of Penthouse magazine. I have had such thoughts over the years about that paddle, that mom….and what would have happened if I had been caught peeking. Naughty boy.

    1. Dear Tattletale,

      You’ll immediately drop your pants and underwear, bend over and grab your ankles. Six of the best with my most whippy cane for SPELLING MY NAME WRONG.

      Now…where were we?

      – Dana

  26. I made a new best friend in the 4th grade. Her name was CoCo. We were terrors.

    One day, at the end of gym class, (all of the our classmates had already left the gym) the teacher was trying to get the ball back and I dashed in front of her and scooped it up and tossed it to CoCo…teacher ran to get it, CoCo tossed the ball back to me…teacher ran to get it….I tossed it back to CoCo. Basically, we ran the poor woman up and down the entire length of the gymnasium several times over and left her gasping for breath. We tossed the ball behind the gymnastic matts and ran off to class.

    That afternoon…..

    The gym teacher called a parent-teacher conference with my mother and they recommended that I not play with CoCo because she was a bad influence on me. (HA!) She agreed. We stayed best friends anyway. However, we were never put in the same classroom together from that point forward. The 4th grade teachers told the 5th grade teachers how bad we were and to keep us separated and the 5th grade teachers told the 6th grade teachers….and so on and so forth…..

    UNTIL…

    The 8th grade and we had gym class together again…….(insert impish grin). All of the other girls had changed out of their gym clothes and left the locker room for our next class. CoCo and I somehow got into baby powder that was left sitting on a bench. The next thing I knew, we (it was really me) took the bottle of baby powder and threw it all over the locker room. We had it on the lockers, the ceiling, the floor…it looked like a winter wonderland in there!
    Ooops! We forgot about the two sets of footprints that we left behind in all of the baby powder. The next day, the gym teachers lined up the entire class of 8th grade girls and tried to get someone to confess. CoCo and I didn’t say a word. We won again!

    Fast forward to 15 years old…..(I could write a book on our misdeeds.) Anyway….
    Before we had our driver’s license, we would “borrow” her grandfathers truck and go joy riding all night long. (CoCo, an only child, lived with her grandparents and we could get away with anything!!) We had it all planned, we were going to “borrow” the truck like we had done several times before, put our t-shirts over our pillows and placed them in the bed so it appeared that we were fast asleep should her grandmother check on us during the night, as any sane person should and did.

    Except this time….I had a hunch about getting caught and I decided not to join. At 11:30 pm, on the nose, our home phone rang. It was CoCo’s grandmother calling my mom in a panic because CoCo had stolen the truck! (gulp. I listened like a little mouse on the other end and hung up quietly.) I ended up riding in the backseat of the car while my mom and her grandmother looked for them and of course, I was directing them AWAY from where I knew they would be. They finally gave up and we went back to CoCo’s house. And waited. And waited. Lights off. (They didn’t want to tip off CoCo that she was busted.) We waited. Finally and dreadfully, the truck coasts back in the driveway in neutral (as I knew it would) and in walks CoCo through the front door b/c her grandmother locked the escape door. With my mother’s car parked out of site, and while we crouched on the floor, CoCo came home to quite the surprise. As soon as she stepped in the door, her grandmother shouted “CoCo WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?”. CoCo pushed her..(just a tiny push) and ran back to her room. Again, she had no idea that we were there…remember, the lights were off and we were crouched in the dark. When my mother saw her grandmother get “jostled”, she shot up and ran after Coco. I was behind my mom like a shadow and when they turned on the lights and Coco saw all of us there…I waived my hands to CoCo to get her attention and mouthed “Don’t tell on me.” She didn’t. (That’tta girl) My mother ended up slapping her in the face for being disrespectful to her grandmother, she got in tons of trouble, they found our alcohol stash in her bedroom and poor CoCo took the blame for ALL of it. She never told on me. The Imp lives! And the band marched on….

    …..Until the 12th grade when Coco and I were the “Office Aide Volunteers” and had the entire high school office to ourselves while the Principle and the Aide went to lunch……

    I’ll leave it at that.

    The amount of havoc we created that year was obscene. We were like the mob! She consistently was known as the “bad” one and a bad influence on me. Our run was legendary. Many have tried to duplicate…none successful.

    CoCo is now a very strict and popular 1st grade teacher (not at the same school) and loves it. As for me? Well, I’m posting on spanking blogs now.

    The End.

    1. Dear Tattletale,

      You begin your story in the 4th grade – I guess that’s so we’ll all assume that, until that point, you were a perfect angel. This leads me to believe that you buy into the whole ‘bad influence’ idea, and that you were just along for the ride, so to speak. Kinda takes your responsibility right out of the equation, doesn’t it?

      So I’m not going to spank you for those childhood pranks, but instead for allowing your friend to be viewed as the source of all that badness. You’re going to take proper responsibility for ALL of that, right now, in the form of one of those old-fashioned school paddlin’s..

      You know, with the great big wooden paddle with the holes in it? You know the routine: bend over, put your hands flat in the seat of the chair in front of you, and spread your legs. I think one stroke for every time Coco was blamed for your badness should about do it…how many hundreds do you think that is?

      – Dana

    2. You can’t paddle me because I have a “note” from my parents saying that I’m not to receive corporal punishment. Oh- and IF you figure out a ‘work-around ‘to the fact that I have note from home, CoCo will be my whipping girl. She will gladly take the strokes for me

      Just saying’

      “Oh when the Saints, go marching in, Oh when the Saints go marching in…….

  27. Back in Junior High there was a gross boy who seemed to have an anxiety disorder when it came to getting baths/showers. He constantly REEKED like BO and always sat near me in assigned seating. One day in the cafeteria I had a bottle of cheapo dollar store Impulse Musk scented perfume with me. I decided to assist his odor issue and proceeded to spray a few blasts right into his body space. He wasn’t facing my direction but when he turned around he clearly was not happy. He told one of the teachers on watch what happened. No one saw who did it but there was a blaring announcement over the loudspeaker warning us to not “assault” one another.

    1. Dear Tattletale,

      Or should I say, “Dear Bully,”? Were you ever picked on at school? I was. And it didn’t do wonders for the old self-esteem, did it? How do you think that boy felt when you publicly humiliated him like that?..

      How do you think he feels now? Do you think he remembers? I do.

      And I think he’d agree that you deserve a bare-bottom spanking with an audience. Maybe I’ll invite over a few friends, tell them what you’ve done, then let them all stand around and point and laugh while I strip you bare from the waist down and pull you over my knee for a hard spanking. Bad girl!

      – Dana

  28. I’ve stayed up past my bedtime a bit this month and have bent the rules regarding FB as well.

    DO YOU GET AN EXECUTIVE ORDER PARDON IF YOU POST IT ON HERE? Like…just write it here and all is forgiven….because if it is….let me get my calendar out!!

    1. Dear (not-so-anonymous) Tattletale,

      You always do. We’ll deal with it soon, rest assured.

      (no)

      – Dana

  29. Dear Miss Kane,

    Thank you for this funny opportunity to taste a piece of your medicine.

    My apologyzes by advances for my poor english level, it’s not my maternal language.

    About my confession, there we go:

    Yesterday I go to an “after work” pub visit with some of my colleague. That where initially sensed to be one or two beers became quickly a proper binge and drunk fare more than two beers.
    I woke up today’s morning over the couch of one of my colleague, still drunk, sick and without memory about the end of the night.
    Results: I came to work three hours late, where sick and unable to do anything productive of all day, fixing my computer screen fighting hard to not fall a sleep.

    It’s not a fascinating or evil event but, like it where my more recent misbehaving, I choose it for my report.

    Thank to take care!

    1. Dear Tattletale,

      Getting drunk in the middle of the week and showing up late to work? Unacceptable..

      Stand in the middle of the room. Put both hands behind your head. Now spread your legs. I’m going to take down your pants and underwear and give you one stroke with my wide leather belt for each minute you were late for work…180.

      – Dana

  30. The things I’m usually guilty of these days fall in the poor self care category: staying up too late and not getting enough sleep, skipping meals and/or not eating well, etc. I take on too much and run myself into the ground, but can also be lazy/a procrastinator.

    A few years ago I ended up hurting someone I cared about. I was frustrated at something they had done and lashed out verbally. They wanted me to be authentic with them, and I trusted them enough to talk to them when they had hurt me. I had been accused of talking about them behind their back when they had done the same thing, etc. It’s a long story. They said they cared about me, but still disappeared after I apologized.

    1. Dear Tattletale,

      1. Self-care is maintenance – something you have to practice every day in order for it to work.
      2. If you don’t procrastinate, then you rarely have to run yourself down in order to catch up.
      3.You can NOT control how people will act or react. You can only control yourself. Do the right thing regardless of whether or not the outcome favors you, and don’t hold it against people when they don’t live up to your expectations.

      You need a ‘spanking reset’, so you’ll stop feeling like you don’t have any control over the things going on in your life. Usually, this means that I’m going to give you a moderate, hand spanking warm up followed by an ever-increasingly-painful paddling, until you simply cannot take any more. And then maybe just a little more. All the while, I’ll talk at you about who is REALLY in control of your life decisions – you. Make better ones.

      – Dana

    2. Yes ma’am. That sounds like exactly what I need right now. I do try to take care of myself the way I should, but at some point I stop caring and/or lack the motivation. I often feel like I don’t have any control over my life. Of course I actually do, but there’s many things that I don’t have control over- how people act, work situations, etc. and I need to respond better. Unfortunately I have a high pain tolerance and my butt gives out before I do (it marks easily), so most spankers stop way short of my upper limits. :(

  31. My confession is when I was in high school, I was a student office aid, and I had a “talent” for forging administrators and teacher signatures. There was this one time that I was almost caught. A friend of mine asked me to forge the school secretary’s signature to get another friend out of class for a few minutes. So I used my “talent” and took the forged note to the class where the person was. I gave it to the teacher and walked out. A few minutes later, the requested student came out. Somehow, the teacher found out the signature was fake, and I was called into the office. The teacher swore the person who brought the forged note was me. Of course, I denied it, and the principal told me I would get a three day suspension if he found out it was really me. I kept insisting I was innocent, having never been in trouble before, so I was given the benefit of the doubt. I was sent to my next class, and the principal called my sister to the office. I stopped by my sister’s class before going to my next class and told her not to rat me out. They could not prove it was me because my sister and I were dressed exactly the same and wore the same hat with the bandana around it. There was nothing they could do. No, my sister did not get in trouble. My parents never found out either.

    I think back to that day sometimes, and I wonder what was I thinking. And I sit here and write this, I have butterflies in my stomach wondering what you would do to me, Dana.

    1. Dear Tattletale,

      How is it that you managed to develop this talent? I’m guessing that this scenario played out many times.

      Which means that you’ll need to be disciplined for the behavior itself, not the one incident. You abused the trust of your teachers and administrators and used your position to manipulate. (Notwithstanding the lying.)

      Seems to me that this is a two spanking situation : one for school and one for home..

      First, I’ll use the traditional spencer paddle, over your pants, with your hands in the chair in front of you. Three whacks for every time you used that particular “talent”.

      Then, we’ll go ‘home’ and you’ll get across my lap for a hard hand spanking followed by a half-hour in the corner to let the point soak in.

      – Dana

  32. My girlfriend was going out of town for a week on business and asked me to tend to her houseplants. Water them, open the blinds in the morning, close them in the evening. Of course I would it was the least I could do. Then I forgot for the first 4 days. When I went over they were a sad looking lot and 3 days of tlc had little impact. Rather then fessing up I told her a sick Aunt had called and asked me to stay with her until she was better. Of course there was no Aunt, at least not a sick Aunt. My girlfriend was upset about the plants but understood, family first. I did go with her to the nursery to pick out new plants, even offered to pay for them but she wouldn’t hear of it. I did insist on at least paying for part. Yeah I know, it was dishonest but I’m normally a good guy, don’t usually lie. So umm ok, yes I deserve to be punished and willing to accept it and yes it will hurt but it can’t be all that bad, can it?

    1. Dear Tattletale,

      It’s interesting that you say that you’re ‘normally a good guy’, so it’s obvious that you KNOW you were not being a good guy when you lied to your girlfriend over something so inconsequential. Makes me wonder what else you think ‘can’t be all that bad’…

      You need to be held accountable for that lie, not only for it’s sake, but for the sake of any future thoughts you may have on the subject. Fifty strokes from a long, thin, wood stinger paddle, and after each one you’ll say, “I will not tell stupid lies”.

      – Dana

  33. When I was in the second grade, our teacher left the room for a few minutes and everyone started talking. When she returned, she picked up her paddle and said “All those who talked come up here.” After several seconds, three honest students (out of about forty) stepped forward. As it was obvious that most, if not all of us were talking, she waited a few more seconds for anyone else to step forward. When no one responded, she said “The rest will suffer in Purgatory” and proceeded to paddle the three.

    For the next three years, I contemplated going to her to “confess” my sin and take my punishment. After the third year she transferred and I never saw her again. Although I’m no longer a Catholic, I still have CGS (Catholic Guilt Syndrome) and wish I had confessed to her. I still wonder what she would have done if I did.

    1. Dear Tattletale,

      Don’t worry, I’m going to spank that guilt right out of you..

      I’ll choose a paddle that most resembles the one your teacher used that day, and multiply the original ‘sentence’ (how many did the honest kids receive?) by the number of years that have passed since you should’ve told the truth.

      This may take a while.

      – Dana

  34. About thirty years ago when I was a teenage schoolboy I used to go to the local shop and buy alcohol and tobacco illegally. The shop owner seemed to me more concerned with making money than whether I was of the legal age and I also looked older than I was so it was never a problem. Both my parents were out at work all day so I was in the house on my own. After my drinking I always washed up the glasses and put them back exactly where I found them..

    I found a spot in the garden where nobody could see me so I could smoke without being seen by the neighbours or anybody else. I would then take all the empties and other rubbish to the public rubbish bin down the road so my parents wouldn’t see it. If I didn’t buy alcohol I would help myself to a whisky or something else from the drinks cabinet but didn’t take too much so as to make my parents suspicious.

    I would also go out in the evening occasionally and tell my parents I was going out for a walk. I was actually going to the shop and buying a can of beer which I would drink standing in a quiet side street.

    To this day I have never told my parents this and they never suspected anything!

    1. Dear Tattletale,

      I wonder how that juvenile drinking and smoking affected your behavior then…and now? Did you get the best grades you could? Work your hardest? Connect and communicate well with your family and friends? Probably not. Do you now?…

      A pattern of sneaky, self-destructive behavior should be dealt with firmly, even if it’s years later, so you’re going to have to endure a punishment-level caning. (It’s not supposed to be fun. That’s why they call it punishment.)

      Since you appear to be a fan of excess, I will expect you to accept fifty cane strokes, by saying, “Another, please,” after each. If, for some reason, you are unable to tolerate the full fifty, you’ll come back tomorrow fifty more…and so on, and so on.

      – Dana

  35. I had a beautiful (to this 10 year old) 4th grade teacher who, when she needed to quiet someone down, would always say, in her lovely southern accent: “I’m gonna smack you goooood!” – but of course she never did. The girls gym teacher in my junior high school, also “hot” would go around the room when we had co-ed classes, smacking a ruler against her hand – but of course never on someone’s backside. In one of my summer jobs during college, the lovely secretary for our department used to say, when she couldn’t read someone’s writing (this was before computers) “You should have been spanked in school.”

    All of these “almost spankers” in my life (those are just a few expamples) had one thing in common, which really wasn’t so unusual for the 1940s through 1970s) was that they all frequently wore skirts with a slit that showed a lacy slip. Get the drift? I was associating women who wore slips with women who spanked.

    Throghout my adult life, whenever I saw a slip showing, I’d always get a little excited, surely having the thought in the back of my mind “Will she spank me?” More than once at work I was “caught” staring at a showing slip for as long as it was in sight. And never even a talking-to about stalking or sexual harassment.

    1. Dear Tattletale,

      Again, yours is a case of fantasy, not confession. You’ve taken the opportunity to somewhat openly peek at hemlines in ‘hopes’ of being caught and disciplined for it.

      Rather than a sentence, you need a roleplay – one in which you’re finally held accountable for that peeking (or terrible penmanship).

      I’m thinking an office-type scene, as you described, where I can grab you by the ear, march you into the bosses empty office, and make you show me YOUR underwear.

      – Dana

    2. Done that, and it works. It’s one of my favorite session role plays.

      The fantasy is that I’d get spanked, but the fetish is real. Walk past me on the street with your slip showing and you might see me pass you and then slow down so I can get another look. ;)

  36. When I was 14, I took (stole) my friend’s parents’ car and ended up getting pulled over by a State Trooper at like 330 in the morning. I was initially stopped for failing to turn my high beams off and slowing down to 30 mph in a 55mph zone (because I had no idea how to drive). I ended up getting arrested and charged with grand theft auto, driving without a license, and breaking & entering (to get the car keys). I really wasn’t a bad kid, just stupid as all heck! The kicker of the story is that the person’s car that I stole was a criminal defense attorney in my small town. He ended up going to court for me and I got all of the charges dropped since I was a minor. In the end, I was grounded for a couple months and kicked off of JV soccer. I’m assuming you’d agree that my punishment didn’t fit the crime.

    1. Dear Tattletale,

      What punishment do you think you deserved? The justice system could have seen you incarcerated in a youth facility for the next several years, which, while you were indeed guilty, would probably not have served you well later in life. Be grateful for the ‘get out of jail free card’.

      But everyone has to pay the piper sometime, and it’s never too late. With that in mind, it’s only fair that you receive a proper ‘sentence’ for such a silly and dangerous crime..

      Spanking benches are constructed so that the receiver must be on hands and knees, legs and arms spread wide (you’d be shackled to mine, just like in ‘real’ jail, to make sure you don’t fall off.) After getting you locked into place (having had you disrobe first), I’ll explain how very much more trouble you could’ve gotten in, and how very lucky you were…until now…

      Fifty strokes with a heavy leather strap, applied with an equally heavy hand, should even the score.

      – Dana

  37. Wow, I’ll first say that I can’t believe you volunteered for this Dana, as it seems like a lot of extra, potentially endless work for you. So feel free to ignore this one if you’re already saturated with requests, but thanks for engaging us in such a fun game.

    My “naughty” behaviour to confess is something in the past – but I do feel guilty to confess that I liked to shoplift as a teen. Rather than just pocketing and pilfering goods, I used to switch price tags on books and other consumer goods – substituting lower price tags for more expensive things that I wanted. Clearly that wouldn’t work now, given modern scanners of bar codes, etc., but it worked quite well in my misbehaving youth – never got caught, even if I got a few questionable looks, and I never tried to take anything that expensive – I just thought I would give myself a discount. So awful, in hindsight, and I’m so lucky that I never got caught. But I’d like to confess to accept what’s appropriate.

    1. Dear Tattletale,

      Were you too poor to purchase things at their quoted prices? Were these things essential (i.e. food)? I doubt that the answers to these questions would get you off the hook..

      Young people almost always have an outsized sense of entitlement. Some of us grow out of that and some don’t – I hope you’re one of the former…

      To make sure of that, I’m going to test your resolve: You’ll receive exactly as many strokes as you think you deserve, and with the implement of your choice. We’ll see how guilty you REALLY feel by how quickly you succumb, and we both know that not pushing your boundaries would be a waste of both our energies.

      – Dana

  38. Dear Ms Kane…..

    I am so very sorry to have misspelled your name, Ma’am. and thank you for the 6 of the best. those marks will be a good reminder….

    Ms Kane, Thank you
    Ms Kane, Thank you
    Ms Kane, Thank you
    Ms Kane, Thank you
    Ms Kane, Thank you
    Ms Kane, Thank you

    Merry Christmas

  39. The cute little deer with the bear behind…. wow Dana.. My very first spanking my mother gave me was with that exact same paddle. I had skipped out from school and of course got caught and sent home were I was told to go to my bedroom and wait. Soon after in came mom with the paddle in hand. At first I was scared when she told me to take off my pants and bend over the side of the bed…. she let me keep my shorts on…. not sure how long I was paddled or how many strokes I got but I do remember for some odd reason it didn’t hurt as much as I thought it would. Now had my mom known that earlier when I skipped out I had gone to the local corner store and stole an ice cream bar things would have probably been more of a bare bottom paddling.

    1. Dear Tattletale,

      Truancy AND theft….busy boy..

      We’ll pick up right where mom left off that day, then bare your bottom for more of the same ‘Bear Bottom’ paddle, right across my lap, for stealing that ice cream (and thereby lying to mom by omission). After several minutes of this, you’ll stand, bend over, and take the final ten. After each, repeating, “Stealing and lying is naughty.”

      – Dana

  40. Just this morning I woke up and heard the wife and kids moving around the house. Knowing that there was something planned for the day that I didn’t want to go to (and wasn’t necessary to attend) and wanting some extra time to myself I pretended to stay asleep until they left the house. Once I heard the garage door close and them drive away got up out of bed and enjoyed the house to myself.

    1. Dear Tattletale,

      Well, well, well..

      I was wondering whether anyone was going to ‘confess’ something that actually earned them a pat on the back(side) rather than discipline.

      You win the prize, my friend.

      You took a little much-needed time for yourself, nobody was hurt in the taking of that time, and no ill effects will arise from your actions. You were selfish – which is NOT a bad thing, considering the prior requisites – so congratulations!

      You just earned yourself a Good Boy spanking.

      – Dana

  41. Hi there Miss Kane,

    I would like to confess to when I was just a kid lying to my mother several times that I had cleaned my room when in fact I just took all the stuff and piled it into the closet instead.

    1. Dear Tattletale,

      And you, m’dear, are the first to ‘confess’ something which I, myself, was also guilty of as a teen. I had a BIG closet, too, so I could go weeks without actually putting things away before having to spend a full day cleaning the closet itself.

      So I’m going to do to you what I think we both should have had done to us – give you a good, long talking-to about the value of your possessions, taking pride in one’s appearance and surroundings, and the need to recognize positive authority.

      And then I’m going to tear your butt up, but good. Old-fashioned, mom-style, over the knee spanking, long enough and hard enough that you’ll never consider leaving your room a mess again. A bright red, throbbing backside is probably just the motivation you need to tidy up!

      – Dana

  42. Boys and Girls,

    YOU MUST LEAVE YOUR COMMENT ANONYMOUSLY.

    If you can see your ‘username’ in the comment area, then you’re logged in to one of any number of commenter accounts. Your comment must show you as ‘anonymous’ or I won’t approve it.

    It’s only fun if nobody knows who you are.

    – Dana

  43. When i was a senior in high school I was in to many things “Drugs using and selling”
    There was this one guy who hated me and I never much cared for him either.
    One night at the foot ball game he started a fight with me!
    I pulled a Knife and he ran! The thing is if I had been with my brother or other friend we would have been Packing.
    And I would have went to prison for Man slaughter! :-(
    I was on a bad road, My brother and friend’s did spend time for other things and three went up for life.
    I was young stupid and mean and to this day regret this as I got off lucky no one said any thing!

    1. Dear Tattletale,

      I’ll hope that you’ve changed your youthful ways and are now a law-abiding and productive member of society. I also wonder what led you to behave that way in your youth…

      Peer groups can have a tremendous impact on us at that age, and I’m guessing that you and your brother weren’t hanging out with the Glee Club kids – I’m also guessing that there was some dysfunction at home that led all of you boys to this kind of badness.

      You need a loving yet stern disciplinary spanking, to remind you that love hurts, but not as much as it’s absence. You’ll go over my lap, so that there’s an intimate and personal connection, and then I’m going to paddle you raw with my heaviest OTK wood paddle, until my arm wears out (which, I can assure you, takes a while). When we’re done, I’ll remind you that it was for your own good…while you cry.

      – Dana

    2. Yes Ma’am I agree with what you said here and must say you have good insight in to how my friend and brother and I felt at the time,
      My brother spent time for armed robbery and besides the one friend,
      Five of them of them went to prison and three are still there if not died,
      This was just one account of my youth,
      One time “of many similar fights with my brother’ He tried to take an inner tube I was using
      “We were sledding at the time” I picked up a 2×4 and smacked him in the head!
      I was the 4’11” 75 pound weakling growing up and was bullied a lot!
      But I could go on and on about what was,But today I am a fire fighter, married for 22 years to a wonderful woman and although I still have a very bad temper I don’t let it completely rule my life but do let it cause me to make some bad choices on how I react!
      I have no doubts about your ability to do just as you are saying,
      I need to let go of my past and realize how much my wife loves me, What a great job I have, and that although my dad was mean some times,
      He was doing the best he knew how as he also had a very bad time growing up!
      As I read how you are going to paddle my butt raw until your arm wears out, I know already you will be doing it for my own good,
      And when I am shedding real tears and crying I will also know it was what I needed because I need to let go and truly know how much everyone around me cares!
      Thank you Ma’am for your response I will plan a trip with you in the future so we can have our talk!

  44. Hello there,

    When I was five years old, I remember I would take the toys my older brother gave me for a gift and I would on purpose break them apart. I remember with one, I would leave it outside all night and with another, I would put the toys in a glass of water and put it in the freezer and froze them together. I just enjoyed freezing and breaking toys my older brother would give me.

    1. Dear Tattletale,

      This is common sibling rivalry, I think. Younger sibling comes along and gets attention, older sibling takes out feelings of abandonment by the parents out on their little brother or sister. Sounds to me like your PARENTS need a spanking..

      But for you, a ‘be nice’ spanking is probably still in order, as we rarely fully outgrow sibling rivalry. Since you didn’t really do anything that other siblings do, it’s less discipline than a reminder that that kind of behavior isn’t okay. A moderate hand spanking, starting over your clothes and paring down to bare, increasing in intensity until you’ve had that ‘endorphin pop’, accompanied by lots of lecturing about the whole Do Unto Others thing.

      – Dana

  45. Here is the scoop. Behind the neighbors across the street and those on the next street over, there was a shallow ditch in the middle of an area we kids called “The Little Field.” We would play there and the boys would build forts and so forth. One day, at the age of 12, my best friend and I were playing around the field. We found a valve wheel and I thought it probably was for a sprinkling system. I wanted to check it out so I turned the valve. Nothing happened so I turned it back. All at once, water started bubbling out of it. I tried to fix it to no avail. We decided to get out of there. Since we were curious, we rode our bikes past the area as it was close to the street. There were three guys standing out there looking at that valve and one of them had his cap in hand and was scratching his head.

    Time passed. Somehow or other, the subject came up when I was talking with Mom. I don’t remember just what I said, but it was along the lines of thinking that valve was to a sprinkling system. I do remember what Mom said. “Oh, do you know what you did? You turned the water off for the entire block!” She was trying not to laugh. The valve was to the water main for that block. It was so old and rusty that when I turned it, I shut it off and it stayed that way. They had to dig it up to fix it and the entire block was without water for three days!

    No, I did not get into trouble over that and neither did my friend.

    1. Dear Tattletale,

      You got off easy, didn’t you?..

      For your discipline, I’d like to take on the role of the neighbor lady who was likely in the middle of her nice, hot shower when the water mysteriously went off. Soon as I dry myself off and wrap up in my furry bathrobe and house slippers, I’m going to grab you by the arm and pull you into my living room, where you’ll go right across my knee.

      You deserve a hard hand spanking for disturbing my shower, and, since there’s still shampoo in my hair, I’m more than a little irritated. Before we’re done, your butt will be cherry red and you won’t sit down without a pillow for three days.

      – Dana

  46. I feel terrible but I think I ruined my little brothers Christmas memories as a child. You see, every single year I told him Santa was going to kidnap him, take him back to the North Pole and turn him into an Elf! He cried every Christmas Eve with fear. And of course he ended up sleeping with me on Christmas Eve our entire childhood (scaredy cat) hoping that Santa would take me instead. The poor boy was scared to death and I, his sister two years his senior, loved every minute of it! I wonder why he never told on me? Hmm? Probably bc I told him something terrible was going to happen to him if he did. I feel kind of bad. He worried himself sick every year that he would be kidnapped by Santa. Poor baby

    1. Dear Tattletale,

      Your ‘confession’ reads with a bit too much pleasure for me to believe that you’re really sorry for this…I think that, since you’re grown now, you probably find it even more funny..

      So you’re going to come and spend the entire day with me, knowing that at some point you’ll be spanked within an inch of tears – but you won’t know when, with what, or for how long. When I finally do snatch you up and toss you over the arm of the sofa, you can stop worrying about when and start worrying about how hard. We’ll see how you like a little fear and uncertainty…before having your hide tanned.

      – Dana

    2. If I didn’t know any better, I would think you were serious with such a benign, gregarious, yet formidable threat!?!

      I had a good time playing this game with Ms. Dana. I hope you don’t end up at the North Pole …say “Hi” to my brother is so!

  47. I was a junior in high school, hating life because it was finals week. I was in my chemistry class, so stressed out because I just couldn’t get it, no matter how hard I tried. It was the last class before the test, and a couple of us were standing by the teacher’s desk asking last minute questions. I was talking to a friend when I kind of turned and knocked some of the teacher’s stuff to the floor. I bent down and started to pick it up, when I realized that it was a copy of the test – right on top it said 4th period – my class! It was the answer key! I had a split second to make the decision, and I grabbed the paper and shoved it in with my stuff. I told no one, just memorized every answer, and prayed I wouldn’t get caught! I did quite well on the test, of course I didn’t get a perfect score – that would be too suspicious. But I did pretty well and the teacher was so sweet to me, she told me she knew I could do it, that I just needed to calm down and believe in myself. I hadn’t even felt bad about it until that moment. And whenever I think of chemistry from that day on. No one ever said a word about the stolen test, or the fact that a low-C student all of a sudden did so well, but you know what? I think it would have been easier on my conscious if I’d just gotten caught!

    1. Dear Tattletale,

      I think it would have been easier on your conscience had you not cheated in the first place..

      School paddlings were a regular although arguably-effective form of punishment when I attended elementary, all the way through to high school. (The reason they weren’t effective is because we usually only got three ‘licks’ with a paddle – over in seconds – no time to learn a real lesson.) So I’m going to revisit this old-fashioned punishment for you, naturally, but to the tune of three licks for every year that’s passed since you got away with cheating…how many will that be, hmm…?

      – Dana

  48. When I was around twelve years old, I was really competitive and many times if my team was losing a game or I was losing playing against my brother playing basketball against him, I would sometime take it so far that I would start hitting him and beating him up if I lost a game against him. I also would would go out in the back and throw a temper tantrum if my team didn’t win a game on the tv too. I feel bad about it now, I really let my competitive nature control me and took it too far many times where I hurt someone who didn’t deserve it.

    1. Dear Tattletale,

      So I guess now you’re the least competitive person on the planet? Totally benevolent? Probably not. We don’t usually change that much, essentially, so think about whether or not this is behavior you’ve carried into adulthood..

      Since this was a regular occurrence, you’re going to need regular spankings….weekly ‘maintenance’ spankings to remind you to be kind, be gentle, and be respectful. You’ll receive your spanking at the beginning of the week, as a warning and motivator for the days to follow – if any bad behavior occurs during that week, you’ll also receive a disciplinary paddling in addition to your weekly maintenance OTK hand spanking.

      – Dana

  49. Dear Ms. Kane,

    I have always been a vocal advocate of not drinking and driving. Last week, I was out at an evening work event, where I knew there would be plenty of drinking and the possibility of the late night. I had driven, so I limited myself to one drink early in the evening then switched over to water. A little later in the evening after turning down a drink of my own, a friend of mine ordered a drink, that while I still have no idea what was in it, was quite tasty. My friend very kindly kept offering me sips of her drink. Not, too long after I decided to call it an early night because I need to be at work in the morning. It wasn’t until after I got home that I realized how intoxicated I had gotten off of those “sips” as it hit me on my drive home. Luckily, I did not hurt myself or anyone else, but I knew I should have not caved into pressure and stuck to my water as planned.

    1. Dear Tattletale,

      I’m guessing that you’re old enough to know better..

      Which means that there is no excuse whatsoever for your recent behavior. Sometimes reality bites, and you’re lucky you didn’t get pulled over or into an accident – I guess that makes everyone else on the road that day pretty lucky, too..

      Driving drunk is a major offense, so I’ve no choice but to deal with you harshly. First, in order to make sure that you don’t hurt yourself during your punishment, you’ll be bound wrists and ankles to the corners of the bed, bottom up, of course, and nude. Once you’re firmly in place, I’ll administer ONE HUNDRED strokes from my stiff, thick barber strop – across both cheeks, and in the exact same spot every single time.

      I promise that the next time you drink too much, you’ll remember the blisters that lasted for two weeks and call a taxi.

      – Dana

  50. When I got my first BMW I was driving on a clear empty road with no traffic around. So I decided to see how fast it would go. I put my foot to the floor and it took of like a rocket. The speed kept increasing and I got it up to 135mph and continued at this speed for about half a minute.. Although I could have gone even faster I eventually decided to slow down. I WAS NEVER CAUGHT!!!

    1. Dear Tattletale,

      There is never ever ever any reason for anyone to ever drive 135 mph. Ever. Seriously.

      You’re getting a cold paddling, hands flat against the wall in front of you. Maybe 135 paddle whacks on EACH CHEEK will keep you from sitting still behind the wheel again for a while.

      In the meantime, you’re assigned a 1500 word report on Dangerous Driving Statistics. That should be more painful than the spanking.

      – Dana

  51. Since you’re going to do it again I’ll confess judicial caning worthy behavior later and be your Justin Bieber huckleberry this time. Yes I pissed in a mop bucket in a restaurant. I was the only cook, the teenage dishwasher was out smoking, I had six steaks on the grill and the bathroom was through the dishroom, through the bar, and on the far side of the dining room (I blame the architect). So I turned off the lights in the dishroom and went in the bucket. Luckily the gorgeous manager didn’t catch me or I could have been severely caned.

    1. Dear Tattletale,

      We’re not even going to make it to your actual confession or discipline, because you found it necessary to use the word ‘piss’…

      There are numerous ways to describe that particular function, and you chose the most crass. You’ve left me no choice but to stand you over the bathroom sink and soap your mouth til you have bubbles coming out of your nose.

      Then you can stand in the corner for a while and think about whether or not you’d like to choose more polite language in future.

      – Dana

  52. I once threw a hard stale piece of bread at a kid who was running the bases in a baseball game and it actually cut his leg (wearing shorts) and he started crying. To this day, I don’t know why I did it and wish I hadn’t.

    1. Dear Tattletale,

      Damn, where’d you get that deadly bread?

      Yours is yet another example of childish impetuousness. Sometimes when we’re kids we do things which simply defy explanation. This is one of those things..

      I have to think of that boy and what would have made him feel better. He’d probably like to see you bent over those baseball bleachers, so that’s exactly what I’m going to do. I’m going to drop your shorts to the dirt, bend you right over your bleacher seat, and spank your bare butt for the whole park to see. Between the pain of the spanking and the embarrassment of being disciplined in front of all those other people, maybe you’ll think twice before doing something unnecessarily mean again.

      – Dana

  53. **Everyone,

    Please don’t leave any more confessions for this post. I’ve several punishments left to dole out and have, quite honestly, spent about as much time as I want on this particular, single post. Let’s move on, shall we? We’ll revisit this again soon.

    Thanks,
    – Dana

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