Didn’t your mother tell you to always wear clean underwear, in case you’re ever in an accident?
(Mine did, although I think it was a joke, and I never really understood why one would care about the state of one’s underpants in case of emergency anyway. But let’s move on.)
I’ll issue a little disclaimer here and state that this post is mostly for the fellas, as I’ve yet to encounter a situation with any of my female playmates where this conversation would be warranted. Call it a feminine consumer culture, vanity, or simply attention to detail, but ladies never need to be told the following :
“Those underwear are atrocious. You should be ashamed to even own them, much less wear them out of the house.”
In my capacity as Spanker of Many Fun Fellas, I’ve had cause to utter this statement on numerous occasions. But I haven’t.
Why?
Well, I’m not quite sure that Miss Manners covered the subject, and I cannot find a single ‘Dear Abby’ column which handles it, either. And while I’m happy to scold, fuss, and giggle at your discomfort, humiliation isn’t really my thing. I could never say :
“You filthy, stinky pig! Look at the state of your underpants – they’re disgusting. You’re disgusting. Go wash them in the toilet immediately…with your face” (or something. Told you I’m bad at this.)
I also haven’t been able to find a fun/funny way to do it, either…
“Say there, Mr. Cutie Pie, but these tighty-whities are no longer tight. Or white.”
If it were me, any approach that someone took which eventually led to them telling me that my panties were icky would result in immediate and immense mortification. I’d imagine that this would be the case with almost anyone, wouldn’t it?
So you see my conundrum. Continue to be too tactful and/or puritanical to say anything personally to those who need to do a little shopping, and suffer the sight of poor underpants held onto much too long…
…or post something silly and funny here and hope that EVERY MAN who reads this takes a moment today to sift through his drawers and do away with anything that could be mistaken for the Shroud of Turin.
With much love and sincere pleading,
The Girl Who Sees Your Underpants
Good GOD! The fact it HAS to be suggested for people to wear PRESENTABLE underwear is tragic! Spankings are nearly as intimate as sex and I know I take pride on showing my spanking partners I take pride in my appearance and care about how they perceive me, too.
And to be blunt, if the people wearing these eyesores can afford to pay for spanking sessions, they CERTAINLY can afford an underwear upgrade. The Dollar General Stores sell multi packs for less than $10.00 :)
My former roommate was a disgraceful dresser who would wear socks with the ENTIRE heel worn away. His “Tighty whities” could have been used to wash the floors. I never put my hands anywhere near HIM or his gross clothes. They were stored in plain sight in his basket aka pseudo dresser.
Alexis,
I think that this is a particularly male oversight, as most women who’ve emailed me re: this post have been absolutely mortified. I think fellas are more goal oriented while we tend to be more into the details…it’s a Mars/Venus thing.
I should clarify that I’ve never had a playmate show up with unwashed underpants, just ones that have outlived their usefulness, so to speak.
I could think of nothing more horrific than seeing a man’s stank and rank drawers! From now on, I think you should simply throw them away when you take them off! If he asks why tell him to refer to your blog! Or email me and I will tell em!
SGE
SGE,
As I mentioned in reply to Alexis, they’re never stinky underpants, just ancient ones sometimes. I don’t think the boys are icky, I just think that a few should pay a bit more homage to Calvin Klein.
On behalf of male spankees everywhere, I apologize for this occupational hazard. As someone whose favorite part of any spanking is having my underwear SLOWWWLY pulled down, exposing my bare bottom to my governess’s (or teacher’s, or corporate disciplinarian’s) inspection, I try to be scrupulously clean inside and out. That includes showering carefully beforehand and changing into a fresh pair of boxer briefs.
David,
The great majority of my playmates are equally scrupulously turned out, and on the rare occasion that one is not….well, I’m a spanking fetishist, not an underpants one, so it’s not ever going to stop me from my ‘end’ goal.
Dear Ms. Kane and Ladies and gentlemen,
Along with hydration, hydration, hydration preparation for receiving corporal punishment involves hygiene, hygiene, hygiene. Along with showering and bathing before discipline and attention to cleaning everything from teeth to, well… everything, clean clothing is at least good manners.
However “worn or torn” can also be clean. I’ve had an unexpected spanking or two in my time, one in rather worn out briefs with a few gaps. The Disciplinarian remarked, with great good humor, that I should not wear torn underwear in case I got hit by a bus. Perhaps torn underwear on a young person reflects poorly on their parents or guardians, or is an indication that a family is anything but well off?
For myself, I wear my newest and cleanest briefs when I know I am going to be disciplined, and my cleanest and non-ripped just in case :)
Respectfully submitted,
old incorrigible
incorrigible,
Worn or torn is a good term, but it’s still better to only have nice undies…that way you won’t get caught with your pants down. Ahem.
OTOH, if you *do* have drawers in your undie drawer that can be mistaken for the Shroud of Turin, the entrepreneurial opportunities almost guarantee you income for a lifetime of spankings *and* an allowance for new undies each session.
Dana, I’m thinking a clean undie deposit, that would be returned to the disciplinee in 95% of the cases? Wonder if that’d work…