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PSA : Quitcher Bitchin’

 

Yep,  you read right. Quit your bitching. It’s a guaranteed way to improve both your mood and the moods of those who have to listen to you speak.

 

But hold on..

I’m not talking about the big stuff, about which we’re not only allowed but encouraged to talk : death, divorce, depression, bankruptcy, imprisonment, injury. We all get free passes on the big stuff, every time, and rightfully so.

 

However:

We are all stressed out.
We all have aches and pains.
Everyone experiences disappointment.

 

By the law of averages, the person next to you is unhappy just as frequently as you. Does that mean that they want to hear all about your daily bitchlist? Let’s answer that with another question : Do you want to hear all about theirs? (I’m guessing that the answer is ‘no’, or we’d have more television shows dedicated to folks just sitting there, complaining endlessly about mundane topics such as expired yogurt, long red lights, and the poor state of our neighbors’ lawns.

What good does it do the general consciousness to unfetter ourselves at every opportunity – splash our bile and venom on unsuspecting bystanders, loved ones and friends? Yes, ‘processing’ is healthy, and so is ‘venting’…if done in moderation, just like every other damn thing on the planet, barring love and spankings probably.

Let’s all try an exercise together, shall we? What, you have something better to do? Something to lose in the endeavor? Nope? Okay, moving on.

It’s called ‘Happy’.

I know, genius right? And I came up with it all by myself! Let’s try to be Happy.

Happy when we wake up (because we DID, in fact, wake up), happy when we shower (because we have all that hot water), happy when we drive to work (because we are lucky enough to be employed in a first world country), happy when we drive home (because we’re lucky enough to have one of those too, no matter which zipcode it’s in), and happy to lie our heads on the pillow every night (because we survived another one).

Every day – hell, every hour! – will give each and every one of us the opportunity to bitch about it or make it our bitch…which are you going to choose?

 

no-complaining

–  Dana

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Spanking PSA Tips for Newbies : Don’t rush it

 

While it’s exciting when we first discover spanking, either in our own private little minds as adolescents, or as questioning young adults with the world now at our fingertips – or maybe even a middle-agers who’ve decided to try a new approach to life in general, the whole shebang can be a little overwhelming.

Sometimes that’s a great thing, and sometimes not.

Not because spanking isn’t great, or because having interest in this type of play is wrong or weird (we’ve already established our normalcy, I think, as far as the term can be defined), but because it’s hard to tap the brakes when you Discover Spanking.

Most of the newbies who contact me are reaching out, tentatively, for the first time – to acknowledge their difference, ask questions, confirm they’re no wacko, or to ask ‘where did this come from?’ Usually, after a bit of discussion and information exchange, they’re ready to make the big leap and hop over someone’s lap ASAP. Totally understandable, given the amount of excitement and anticipation the human mind is capable of conjuring. They want to do it, now or sooner, and want to try it all at once – like one of those never-ending buffets you see at the casinos here in Sin City.

The problem with that? Well, when has overindulgence served us well? If you really tried to eat your way through that endless buffet all at one sitting, you’d darn well deserve the heart attack you’d surely experience while dragging your bloated self out of that booth.

As with everything else in life, your spanking experience should happen naturally, in moderation, and with considered aforethought.

slow-down

Think of it this way: If you’ve just discovered your interest in spanking, your next move was probably to open a whole bunch of tabs on the interweb, searching things like “spanking”, “adult discipline”, “accountability”, or even (affectionately) “spanking porn”.

You’re immediately inundated with  hundreds of thousands (if not millions) of options – websites, blogs, infographics, news stories, opinions both pro and con. It’s a helluva lot to take in, and not everything you read will be accurate and/or reassuring. So you keep looking. You find what looks like what you’re interested in, and you decide to ‘go for it’. Great!

But don’t just grab the first person you see and ask ’em for a spanking, and certainly don’t hop onto social networks and broadcast your interest/need/desire to spank or be spanked to the world right away. Look around, take your time, see how people in the community behave, interact, and (hopefully) respect one another. Choose correspondents and playmates carefully, and don’t try to get yourself spanked three days after you meet someone. Take it slow. You have PLENTY of time for great spanking experiences, but should have none whatsoever for bad ones.

The more homework you do in advance, and the more you educate and ‘enlighten’ yourself about spanking and domestic discipline, the more savvy you’ll be when it comes time to get your spank on.

Even then, don’t try to get all your spanking fantasies out at once. Again, as in life, if we do it all at once, what’s the use of continuing? Try a little hand spanking, maybe a couple implements…see how you feel in the situation first, before you go and construct a bunch of elaborate fantasy roleplays involving judicial punishments and spencer paddles making you cry real tears. It doesn’t happen that way for most of us, and it won’t likely for you either…not if you’re doing it right. (Here is where I insert the disclaimer that the above is entirely my opinion which I willingly inflict on the general public via this blog. You’re welcome to ignore it completely and knock yourself out (possibly literally) in your haste…but don’t come crying to me when it all goes apples up. I’ll just spank you for not listening.)

Read the title again; don’t rush it. It’ll happen, and when it does – wow! – will it be worth the wait.

–  Dana

 

 

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PSA : The Little Things

 

They say that it’s the little things that count.

And that can be true with spanking, too.

 

I don’t have to heft a huge frat paddle.

All I need is a little wooden spoon.

 

I don’t have to swing my arm back as far as it will go.

Just aim for the sit spot – that’ll keep your attention.

 

No need to tie  you down, either.

You’re going to hold still because I said so.

 

I don’t need to hit you a thousand times.

But I will make you think twice about coming here.

 

There’s no reason to make you bleed.

I’d rather make you whimper.

 

 

 

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Spanking PSA : Are you screwing up big-time right now?

Readers,

This isn’t really so much spanking-related as privacy-related, but since most of you would like to keep your spanking lives private, this may be advice you could use. I’m going to keep this simple for those of you with short attention spans:

 

Never send or receive ‘kinky’ email from/to your work-associated email address.

Why?

One word : LinkedIn.

Did any of you know that the above site is kind enough to send out a ‘join me on linkedin’ email to everyone on your email contacts list?

And did you know that I’ve received HUNDREDS of ‘join me on linkedin’ email invites over the past few years? From people from all different walks of life and a myriad of assorted professions, from CEO’s to carpenters to choir directors. All I’d have to do is click ‘accept’ and there you’d be, with your professional-looking linkedin profile, and little ol’ me showing up as your newest ‘contact’. Dana Kane – Professional Disciplinarian.

How many of you would really like me on your public list of business associates? Hmm……? Or how about any of the other folks you may or may not have emailed at 2am while perusing adult videos and maybe emailing someone you shouldn’t have? (I’m just saying…)

 

As much as I’d love to yell it from the rooftops that you’re all my closest and bestest spanko friends, I think it’s about time some of you pay a bit more attention to what goes where and to whom in the digital age. That is, if you care at all about keeping your secrets to yourself.

 

With love and concern for your common sense,

–  Dana

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Spanking PSA : Pobody’s Nerfect

 

The idea of discipline, whether it’s the self-inflicted kind or the kind administered by a loving friend (or total stranger..whatever floats your boat) is that one is meant to be somehow improved after said discipline has taken place. I think this is the case no matter what the ‘discipline’.

In terms of self-discipline, this may mean that you’re going to exercise more or eat more healthfully or call your old granny more than once a year – whatever it is that you feel the need to exert self-discipline in order to achieve, that’s where you focus. And, if you keep at it long enough, it’s likely that you’ll succeed. Due to this success, you earn the right to be proud of yourself (and you should exercise that muscle regularly), thereby positively reinforcing the self-discipline and awarding the achievement with a sense of self-satisfaction.

When we speak about corporal discipline, it seems to me as though the course of actions/reactions are somewhat similar: one receives a disciplinary spanking (or caning or strapping or whuppin’ or thrashing or whatever) in order to address less-than-stellar behaviors in hopes that the repeated application of this will lead to an aversion to those negative behaviors. In the same way that we exert our energies toward self-discipline, together with your disciplinarian you exert energies- physical, mental, emotional – into the process of ‘clearing the slate’…focusing on better future outcomes. Just as with self-discipline, if you (both) keep at it, you’ll likely succeed in altering those unwanted behaviors, which will make you feel better. Which will make you proud of yourself. Which will…you get the idea.

 

But.

Perfection is never the goal. Nobody should strive for perfect behavior, perfect attendance, or even perfect table manners. ALL of us need to honk the horn in traffic once in a while, and everybody needs to skip out on something they really promised to attend occasionally, and we all  – certainly – should place our elbows firmly on the table in front of our in-laws every now and again. Just to keep things from getting boring.

Don’t kick yourself in the fanny if you don’t manage to achieve every single little thing you’re working toward, all at once. Cut yourself some slack. Remember that you’re human, and change takes time, and that, no matter how much you fix,  you’ll still never be perfect. Thank goodness.

What I’d like from all my regular playmates who’re participating in discipline programs is to forego your usual AR’s this week in favor of a firm pat on the back for yourselves. Screw the stuff that didn’t go well, and give yourself an immense amount of credit for the simple fact that you’re working on it. And you’ll get there. Write and tell me how awesome you are, and mean it.

For anyone else who’s having a hard time meeting their goals, let’s agree to a short moratorium on self-loathing, guilt, and blaming ourselves. Take a week off from trying to make  yourself ‘better’ and make a list of all the things about yourself which are, in this very minute, just damn dandy. Then pin that list to your bathroom mirror and read it every morning. You probably rock much harder than you realize.

pobodys-nerfect

– Dana

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Spanking PSA : Try Not

 

How many times have we all said, “I’m going to try to do better” or, “I’m trying to eat healthier and exercise” or “I’m trying to treat my spouse with more respect”?

I know how many  times I’ve heard statements like these in a disciplinary setting, and it almost always irritates me. Here’s why :

 

We shouldn’t have to TRY to do things we already know how to do. We *try* new things, not old ones. Respect is something we all learn/experience/view at a young age; healthy living is no secret, considering we’re all told from the outset what’s ‘bad’ and ‘good’ for us.

Is this making any sense?

You don’t *try* to drive to work. You just do. Because you already know how.

You don’t *try* to chew your food properly before swallowing. You just do. (Or you don’t, in which case Natural Selection takes place.)

I could do a lot of these silly ‘you don’t *try* things, but hopefully we’re on the same page now idea-wise..

 

Why, then, must we try so hard to take good care of ourselves, be nice to the people we love, and do good things for our communities and fellow people?

Why does everyone have to TRY so damn hard to do the Right Thing?

Just do it.

Because you already know how.

dana kane try not
Listen to Yoda

–  Dana

 

 

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Spanking PSA : Accountability

 

Since we know how much all spankos love school scenes, let’s handle this like an old-fashioned lesson. Fun, right?

 

(crickets)

 

Have a seat there at your desk, eyes forward, and try not to disturb your neighbors. Today, boys and girls, we’re going to talk about ‘Accountability’.

Accountability is a big word that means doing what you’re supposed to do. You can be accountable for all sorts of things, and even accountable to people or situations – it’s also a very important aspect of our social structure. Let’s start with the basics:

 

What is Accountability ?

 

ac·count·a·bil·i·ty
əˌkountəˈbilitē/
noun
  1. the fact or condition of being accountable; responsibility.
              “their lack of accountability has corroded public respect”
    synonyms : responsibility, liability, answerability

     

    See there? Right at the very top of the google search for ‘accountability’, the above. Lots of times a good way to figure out where a word belongs in the language is to look at it’s synonyms..you get an immediate feel for the strength and use of a word. In this case, the words synonymous with accountability are responsibility, liability, and answerability.

     

    How do we apply that to adult spanking as discipline? Simply put, when held accountable you are responsible, liable, and answerable for your behavior. When your behavior does not meet or exceed the expectations you’ve set for yourself (with the help of someone holding a paddle), the consequences will likely include a spanking. And almost as often they’ll be accompanied by a lot of listening, ‘yes, ma’am-ing’, and even the dreaded Written Assignment (or the even-more-fearsome Corner Time).

     

    Not a beating.
    Not an assault.
    Not abuse.

     

    In my opinion, adult spanking as discipline (or simply for fun, for that matter) is none of those things, and I think you’ll all agree. Even when we use the words ‘discipline’ and ‘punishment’, they’re used in the context of positive reinforcement, care, empathy, and mutually agreed-upon goals.

     

    Not everyone into spanking is interested in addressing their Issues. Hell, there may even be people walking around who have no Issues to address (although this is highly doubtful based on current empirical data)…and nothing works for everyone.

     

    But everyone is accountable.

     

    If you’re not living up to your own expectations  – because it’s truly counter-productive to care about the expectations of others before your own – maybe you need a spanking.
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Spanking PSA : Puritanical much, Dana Kane?

 

Readers,

Mind if I slide my soapbox out from under the sofa? It’ll only take a minute…

I know that there are as many kinds of fetishists as there are people and that variety speaks for a lot, but I seem to be experiencing an uptick in the number of Unacceptable Correspondences of late and have to comment on a few things which I believe all of us should already know.

*For the uninitiated, these are called Common Courtesies in my house (which includes my blog, my email, and anything else which I can selfishly call mine).

**I should also mention that many of these things MAY not get you into trouble with every disciplinarian, and I make no statement or judgment about other’s acceptable practices. What I WILL say is that you’re not likely to get yourself into trouble anywhere else, if you follow a few simple protocols.

 

How to Not Insult the Lady with the Paddle

Dana Kane Spanking Videos

1. Although it’s terribly difficult, try not to refer to your genitals in correspondence. Seriously, we all have them, so you’re not bestowing any groundbreaking information with Junk Talk – and trust me, we’ve all heard entirely too many genital details already. Be original and try sticking to things like thoughts, feelings, and ideas. Hey, maybe even spanking!

2. Same goes for filthy language. I don’t mean general use curse words here, but the ones you’d never say in front of your grandma. A good rule of thumb is that, if you wouldn’t say it at grandma’s 90th birthday party, then I probably don’t want to hear it either.

3. Sex. See #1. If I specifically ask about your sex life, sexual technique, or sex ninja exploits – well, you’ll be the first.

(Now’s a good time to say that I  a)talk about sex, b)have sex, and c)can be a downright bawdy gal under the right circumstances, so I’m not saying don’t BE who you are. Simply BE the you who has sense enough not to talk about that crap to me – especially if we don’t even know one another in Real Life.)

4. Play by the rules. This one’s specifically for those who exuberantly share/submit their spanking stories before ever having read the posting guidelines. Again, there is much information on the nature of my puritanical and iron-fisted demand for squeaky-cleanliness.

5. Don’t ask me to explain the rules of engagement to you; if you’ve reached the ripe old age of (fill in the blank) without the good sense to behave politely then I cannot help you.

6. If you’re lucky enough to get away with a “warning” about your behavior, heed it. Most don’t get a second, and nobody gets a third. You want discipline, buddy? Here ya go…discipline yourself right out the door.

7. Remember that your disciplinarian is not a prostitute, phone sex worker, sexual wellness counselor, or humping post. If your sexual needs are going unmet, it’s your responsibility to see to them. In other words, try to get laid someplace else, ’cause I’m just here for the spanking. Thanks.

8. The bottom line: As I spank my way around this country, yanking both men and women across my lap in what is always a private and intimate setting, I want to be just as comfortable and able-to-trust as you are in that moment. You can make that happen *just like that* by simply minding your manners.

Is that asking too much? Because, if it is, I’ll quote MY grandma:

“Don’t let the door hit ya where the good lord split ya.”

–  Dana

 

PS. I’ll add that you don’t want to become part of a pop culture cautionary tale, either..

My friend Erica Scott receives so much trollish email that she’s put it all together into a BOOK – called Correspondence Hall of Shame. She’s recorded hundreds (if not thousands) of rude, embarrassing, and unintelligible emails over the years. She’s also published a great many of the more remarkable ones publicly, along with her scathingly hilarious commentary. You don’t want to be one of THOSE people, do you?

 

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Spanking PSA : Occupational Hazards

 

Readers, 

We talk a lot about all the ways in which a bottom may be hurt or harmed during spanking play, and we’re all very conscious of those things – rightfully so – but we rarely talk about all the nasty crap that can happen to the spankER during the very same scene. 

Let’s look at a few ways in which my playmates have endangered my life and limbs over the years, likely in retribution for many, many sit spot whacks. Please feel free to empathize with me and other tops, for all the pain and woe we slog through, just to spank your misbehaving behinds.

 

1.  Sticks and Stones, and Feet:  I have a particularly kick-y playmate who, while doing his very best impression of an alligator death roll off my lap, managed to twist himself into such a position – AS I WAS SWINGING – that my hairbrush landed squarely on…

wait for it…

my right thumb knuckle. Hard. Now hitting the backside, all squishy and full of fat and muscles and stuff, is one thing, but hitting a bony appendage is a Whole Other Thing Entirely. Agony and swelling were immediate, but, not to be outdone by short-term issues, the knuckle now sits entirely crooked, probably forever. 

*Feet also make great Face Connectors. Unless you’re on the shorter side, there’s a very high likelihood that, if you swing your feet up high enough, they’ll come into intimate contact with some part of my face. This is not a Good Thing for anyone, as I will seriously beat you to death if you kick me in the face.

Feet can be dangerous.

 

2.  Hippy-Hippy-Bruise:  Those of you who work hard to maintain a certain physique are, rightfully, proud of yourselves and the effort you’ve made toward general healthfulness. What you’re NOT aware of is this: Your hipbones are sharp, protruding, little cheeseburger-craving knives which stab into your spankers upper thigh in such a manner that one almost has to wonder whether you’re skinny on purpose, just so you can use those things as weapons. The most common injury that I sustain is a nasty purple bruise slashing across my left thigh, in the exact spot you’ve been torturing me with your fitness.

*Conversely, it’s always the not-so-skinny who are concerned about ‘hurting me’ when going OTK. Trust me when I tell you that you are NOT going to hurt me, regardless of the size of your underpants.

Behold the deadly Iliac crest.

 

3.  Back-i-otomy :  This is, I believe, the generally accepted medical term for the procedure to remove one’s back altogether – because it’s both painful and useless. From what I’ve read on the AMA website, professional spankers are the largest demographic of Back-i-otomy surgery, and the success rate is pretty high, as long as they avoid spanking altogether in the future. (Seriously, the crummy back’s not your fault – you just exacerbate it.)

*If you’ve opened another tab to search ‘back-i-otomy’, I cannot help you.

Dave Chapelle knows.

 

4.  Biting the Hand that Spanks You :  Okay, so you’re not the ones who actually do the biting; it’s the implements that bite. Hard. Leather belts, straps, tawses, and anything else long and slinky is, I PROMISE you, going to snap back and bite the living hell out of the back of the wielder’s hand at least once. You just looove the belt, huh? Well, us, not so much. There’s a reason for that, and it’s called It Hurts…of course, we do it anyway, because the trade off is that, hopefully, it hurts you more.

Ouch!

 

There’s more. So much more. But I don’t want to give you all the impression that I’d have it any other way.

Bring it on.

–  Dana

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Spanking PSA : Why spanking is ‘therapy’…and why I’m pissed that I have to use quotes there.

 

Once, when I still had social networking accounts, I tweeted something about ‘spanking therapy’ to one of my friends. I don’t know why or how, but someone I’d never met nor heard of, who was some sort of anti-new-age-medicine personality, made a super snarky and dismissive comment and re-shared my original tweet to his followers. Sort of a ‘look, another loony’ kind of thing. I was highly insulted. First of all, who the hell are you? and secondly, what business is it of yours? and third, oh…I could go on and on about the social miscalculations this person made that day. But that’s not the point, so let’s get past my indignation at the snark and look at the underlying smarminess.

People think that sex is dirty. People also think that anything which smacks of fetish must be perverse, discordant, and totally without actual value. In other words, some folks think that what we do is weird and we’re dumb. (And where the ‘what we do’ is, you could put any counter- or alt-norm culture or movement and get the same results.) Many of those people are just under- or ill-informed (ignorant) and the rest are simply closed to the idea of anything outside their comfortable social mores (stupid). Probably more than a few talk the clean talk, but walk the dirty walk, distancing themselves from other perverts by way of magical thinking.

People who think that this is all a bunch of crap (I’ll call them The Dummies from here on out, so nobody gets confused) are, simply, small-minded. I’m not a person of unshakeable faith in many things, but I have the ultimate faith in a person’s ability to accept. When that faith is shaken by Dummies, I remind myself that it’s not anyone else’s life I’m living, nor is anyone helping me live this one…I’m answerable only to myself. My beliefs don’t have to jibe with anyone else’s, and it’s cool for others to disagree…as long as they’ve educated themselves on the subject. Dummies are the folks who would take a subject like spanking, look at it for half a second, then determine it to be valueless.

Most people reading this post will likely be pro-spanking, pro-kink, or, at the very least, pro-openmindedness (or you wouldn’t still be reading), so it’s not likely that I’ll meet a lot of dissenters here, and that’s fine too. It still has to be said.

Spanking is therapeutic.

It’s not just a get-off tool; it’s certainly not just deviance; it’s most definitely proven (by those who are willing to talk openly) to have positive and long-lasting effects on one’s mental state. Granted, one must be open to the idea, and possibly an actual spanko, to derive benefit from this belief, but doesn’t that make it just like every other belief? Don’t we all have to suspend disbelief in one or more areas of our lives, in order for things like belief to work in the first place?

And does it really matter whether we believe in it because it works, or whether it works because we believe it will? I don’t think so. (I’m getting a strong sense of deja vu here..like I’ve complained about this very thing before. Ah well,)

Dummies would say that we’re all hung up on some childhood trauma, or that we’re sadistic sociopaths and masochistic psychos. Personally, I think we’re a lot simpler than all that. We crave something which we cannot necessarily explain but which harms none, and we seek it out. We do not impose our wills or ideas on others, unlike the Dummies.

See, they think it’s all about the hitting. That’s why they’re dumb.

We know better…

It’s less about the spanking and much, much, much more about the relationships we foster – we can’t help fostering – when we’re so close together for so long.

It’s about empathy, too, isn’t it? The whole thing about actually listening rather than just waiting for one’s turn to speak.

And trust, which we give physically so very easily but withhold emotionally for so very long.

But I don’t have to explain it to you, do I? And The Dummies would never listen.

Preaching to the choir,

– Dana

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Spanking PSA : Tops have Hard Limits, too

 

It’s well-discussed that spankees should learn, know, and protect their Hard Limits – the things in which they are not interested in participating. I always want to know what my playmates like and don’t like, but I’m most interested in their Hard Limits. I don’t touch those – don’t even graze ’em. It’s important, at least to my mind, for those in my hands to know that, even though they’re likely in for a tough time, they can trust that I won’t go ‘there’…wherever ‘there’ is for them. 

So if someone tells me that canes are an absolute no-no for them, then they may rest assured that I will never, but never, strike them with one. If that same person has an aversion to complete nudity, they may, albeit against my better judgment, remain partially clothed at all times. Trust is fragile, you shouldn’t mess about with it. I get that. I also respect the wishes of others, possibly sometimes to a fault, as I’ve gathered on more than one occasion that a playmate was somehow hoping that I would use the information against them. I get it – the notion that your top would exceed your Hard Limit is probably a high-ranking bottom fantasy – but it’s not gonna happen. At least not here.

Conversely, there are some other things which aren’t gonna happen here because they’re MY Hard Limits. These things really have very little to do with you and what you desire (isn’t that horribly selfish of me?), and at this point in my play experience are pretty damn universal.

Without further adieu, my Hard Limits :

 

1. BDSM

Let me be clear here – I am in no way knocking S&M. Some of my best friends are dominatrices, and that’s not a punchline. However, and to be completely frank, I suck at it. I’ve tried – trust me, I’ve tried. But the clothes are restrictive and sweaty, I’m not coordinated enough to swing a single tail, and – most importantly – humiliation is NOT my forte’. The gadgets required to properly torture genitalia appear to be very expensive and extremely fiddly to operate, and I’ve no idea what the curve is on CBT Operator Error. Bondage is pretty but most knot-work renders the buttock area inaccessible, totally killing the rest of the evening for me. Also, I’m never sure what exactly I’m supposed to do to you once I get you tied up like a roast pig. And how long before the circulation to your ears cuts off, anyway?

Of course, I DO love to hit people, and don’t necessarily mind if that doesn’t always occur on the rear, but…

 

2.  I will not cane/paddle/otherwise-strike-with-a-hard-object the inside of your thighs.

Why?

Google ‘femoral artery’.

 

3. For basically the same sane medical reasoning as #2, I will not strike your hands/palms/wrists with anything larger or more lethal than a balsa wood ruler.

Look, there’s a reasonable expectation of discomfort and, in many cases, even the expectation of marking or bruising. But when it comes right down to it, I have absolutely no interest whatsoever in actually injuring you. I don’t care whether it’s okay with you or not – it’s not okay with me. 

The buttocks are a gladly-placed mass of overlapping muscles, fat, and bazillions of teeny little nerve endings. No organs. No bones. No major blood vessels leading directly to the brain. You know, your usual non-lethal ass area. And with the right conditioning, an area which can handle quite a lot of impact, up to and including skin abrasions, repeatedly, and with no ill effect (when cared for properly). Most other areas of the body hold no such distinction, so I prefer to keep the extra-posterior impact to a minimum.

( ** Disclaimer : This doesn’t mean that I won’t slap your face if you get mouthy…I just won’t do it really, really hard.)

 

4. Humiliation

We touched on this in #1, but it definitely deserves it’s own numeral. I do NOT ‘do’ humiliation. Embarrassment, yes; shaming, definitely. But not humiliation.

(I am using my own personal definition of humiliation here, which may or may not jibe with your own.) To me, the difference between humiliation and embarrassment lies in the intent – am I providing you with positive or negative feedback? Example : You’ve eaten all the candy after I’ve told you it’s for everyone. Humiliation would, to my mind, sound like this : “You sick pig! I can’t even look at you – you nauseate me. You’ll sleep on the floor like a dog tonight.” (Told you I suck at it.) On the other hand, embarrassment feels more like : “You ate all that candy? After I told you not to? What am I going to do with you? Don’t come crying to me when you get a stomachache.”

Make sense?

I cannot say nasty things to you. I cannot try to hurt your feelings, make you feel bad about yourself. Can’t even fake it. Say what you want, but there’s enough negativity in each of our minds already without having someone plant bad crap there while your brain’s all wide open. I’d rather be a ‘cheerleader’, thankyouverymuch.

 

5.  It’s really, really, REALLY not okay to touch my ass. Ever.

Ever.

 

–  Dana

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Spanking PSA : More Spanking Info for Newbies

 

Last Spanking PSA we touched on spanko terminology, and this time we’ll look at finding someone with whom to correspond, chat, or play.

As we discussed recently when one of my playmates gifted me some classic spanko periodicals, getting in touch with others of a like mind is different now than ever before. Most of us meet new folks online now, rather than at an afternoon social, and pen pals have been mostly replaced by IM or Skype pals. With all this interaction available at our fingertips, it can become overwhelming for us when we’re just beginning our Spanko Learning Search; it’s easy to end up in the wrong ‘place’.

I’m going to list some online resources which may be helpful in finding others with your particular interests. *Remember that I don’t suggest any particular activity on these sites, if any, and have no vested interest in any site or link – take a look around, and always trust your instincts.

  • The largest and most obvious of the social networks, for our purposes, is FetLife.com. There are a gazillion kinky people on the site, all with profiles similar to what you may remember from MySpace. Registered users can make ‘friends’, send private messages, join groups, and see what’s/who’s happening in their area. And it’s free.    *Just like all social networks, remember that your identity is yours to protect – best to proceed with discretion, always.
  • Shadow Lane (shadowlane.com) has been leading the social spanko community for decades, and they always have a weekly moderated chat available to registered users. It’s a low-pressure way to interact with other spankos, and you don’t have to worry about the conversation going south because there’s always someone (a moderator) online, making sure that everyone plays nice.
  • SpankingNeeds.com offers a moderately-trafficked discussion board with many topics, links, and members available for chat.
  • Spanko Groups (look for the link list on the right-hand side of this page, toward the bottom) are an excellent way for more extroverted newbies to meet other spanking fetishists. Most require registration, and many charge a small entrance fee to cover costs of putting on the meetings, and most will also insure your privacy and discretion.
  • Pro spankers and spankees  (another link list of pro spankers can be found in the right-hand sidebar, as well) are almost always happy to help new players learn the ins and outs of spanking play. As with any new playmate, make sure to get to know one another before you play, and that you have similar interests and goals for your playtime.
  • Spanko.net and SpankingTube.com feature free spanking videos, member profiles, and social networking/email/private messaging capabilities.

Get out there. Take a look around. Be smart.

And have fun!

–  Dana

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Spanking PSA : The State of Your Underpants

 

Didn’t your mother tell you to always wear clean underwear, in case you’re ever in an accident?

(Mine did, although I think it was a joke, and I never really understood why one would care about the state of one’s underpants in case of emergency anyway. But let’s move on.)

I’ll issue a little disclaimer here and state that this post is mostly for the fellas, as I’ve yet to encounter a situation with any of my female playmates where this conversation would be warranted. Call it a feminine consumer culture, vanity, or simply attention to detail, but ladies never need to be told the following :

“Those underwear are atrocious. You should be ashamed to even own them, much less wear them out of the house.”

In my capacity as Spanker of Many Fun Fellas, I’ve had cause to utter this statement on numerous occasions. But I haven’t.

Why?

Well, I’m not quite sure that Miss Manners covered the subject, and I cannot find a single ‘Dear Abby’ column which handles it, either. And while I’m happy to scold, fuss, and giggle at your discomfort, humiliation isn’t really my thing. I could never say :

“You filthy, stinky pig! Look at the state of your underpants – they’re disgusting. You’re disgusting. Go wash them in the toilet immediately…with your face” (or something. Told you I’m bad at this.)

I also haven’t been able to find a fun/funny way to do it, either…

“Say there, Mr. Cutie Pie, but these tighty-whities are no longer tight. Or white.”

If it were me, any approach that someone took which eventually led to them telling me that my panties were icky would result in immediate and immense mortification. I’d imagine that this would be the case with almost anyone, wouldn’t it?

So you see my conundrum. Continue to be too tactful and/or puritanical to say anything personally to those who need to do a little shopping, and suffer the sight of poor underpants held onto much too long…

…or post something silly and funny here and hope that EVERY MAN who reads this takes a moment today to sift through his drawers and do away with anything that could be mistaken for the Shroud of Turin.

 

With much love and sincere pleading,

The Girl Who Sees Your Underpants

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Spanking PSA : Spanko Terminology for Newbies

 

Readers,

I’m sure that this has been done before, and probably more thoroughly than I’ll manage here, but we do have newcomers to the spanking community every day and not everyone knows where to look for basic information on the ins and outs and all-arounds of spanking.

So. I thought that it would be a fun idea to do a series of posts to offer some basic (and not-so-basic, eventually) stuff for newbies to peruse. I’ll invite experienced players to expand on my posts in the comments area below, so that your collective wisdom can help inform others…remember, we were all clueless about all of this at one time.

It seems that a good place to start is with some basic terminology. Even though this stuff appears to go without saying to some of us, even the most common spanko terms may be confusing to newbies. With that said, let’s cover some of the most common spanking terms..

(Please keep in mind that some folks will define a few of these terms somewhat differently, depending upon their personal experience/preferences, and it’s important to discuss these things with anyone new with whom you play/communicate.)

 

Spanko – Short for ‘spankophile’, it’s a term which we use to refer to ourselves and others with an interest in spanking and domestic discipline/corporal punishment. (Note: Spankophile does not appear in the dictionary, nor am I trying to overcomplicate a simple term. These words and explanations are here to help NEWBIES when they see words they may not understand (in our parlance).)

Top – A person, of any gender, who only gives spankings but does not receive them.

Bottom – A person who only receives spankings but does not give them.

Switch – A person who both gives and receives spankings. Some switches may refer to themselves as a “50/50” switch (meaning they equally enjoy both top and bottom roles), or a “mostly-toppy” switch (meaning that they like to bottom occasionally but prefer to top), etc. etc.

*Note: Switching can also refer to the act of spanking someone or being spanked with a switch, as in “Go cut me a switch.”

Corporal Punishment – This occurs when one person uses physical touch, either with hand or implement, on one or more parts of the body, with the intent to cause another physical discomfort.

Discipline – This occurs when one is held accountable, through corporal punishment, for negatively-perceived behavior.

Punishment – See Discipline. Usually, the difference between these two terms is subjective to the level of negative behavior and the agreement of the parties involved.

Maintenance – These spankings usually occur on a regular or semi-regular basis, and are most often for the purposes of keeping one ‘on the right track’, so to speak, either mentally, physically, emotionally, or all of the above.

Non-Corporal Punishment – Often used in tandem with spanking, these activities include corner time, mouth-soaping, writing/reading assignments, and many others.

Role Play – Within the context of a spanking ‘scene’, role play refers to the top, bottom, or both, taking on the persona of another person or time. Examples include: teacher/student, boss/employee, etc.

Limits (or Hard Limits) – This is usually meant to indicate ‘no-go zones’, and are subjective to the player. Example : “My hard limits include bondage, canes, and thigh spanking.” This means that the example person does NOT want bondage or canes utilized during spanking play, nor do they wish to be spanked on their thighs.

We’ll take our time to cover the myriad terms, sayings, and situations we use within the spanko community, but if you’ve a question about any basic spanko terms (or have any to add), please share here.

– Dana

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Spanking PSA: Safe Words


“Red. Yellow. Green. Mercy”….”That’s too hard. It hurts. Please stop”….

Balderdash. Nonsense. Tosh. Rubbish. It is NOT too hard. It’s supposed to hurt. No way, Jose.

Safe words are useless to me. Allowing my spankee to relieve him/herself of the discomfort of a spanking by spewing random words into the room is a Hard Limit. 

There’s no strength or pride gained from these words; no moment of understanding between top and bottom. This is not a game – you cannot yell ‘red light, green light’ to make your spanker stop dead in his or her tracks.

Spanking – even punishment spanking – is about consent. 
It’s also about trust. 
If my playmate has so little trust in me that he must have a special word at hand to gain control of me at a moment’s notice, then it’s likely that we have not gotten to know one another well enough just yet. If I am uncertain of his full consent before the spanking begins, well…it’s not going to happen.


Instead, I require that my spankee engage me – with his eyes and his voice – and politely request a short break. I believe, and have seen through my own experiences, that requiring the bottom to make eye contact and verbally express his inability to ‘take it’ requires a lot more chutzpah than bleating some random word or phrase into the floorboards. I am convinced that holding the spankee responsible for his or her own discipline is an empowering and uplifting circumstance.

Also, by removing the safe-word option, the bottom has the opportunity to say all those things which, under safe-word circumstances, would likely leave the spanker wondering whether they’d gone too far:

“Please stop, please!”
“Ohmygod, it hurts! That’s too hard!!”
“I don’t think I can take it!”
“Okay, okay…I changed my mind..”
I have heard all these and more. Begging, cajoling, outright insistence that I stop immediately…
All simply reasons to spank harder, scold more convincingly, and manhandle my spankee. 

If you need a break, twist your little neck around, look me straight in the eye, and ask for it. Otherwise, your protestations and safe words will fall on deaf, spank-obsessed ears.

–  Dana

Disclaimer: These are my opinions. They may or may not reflect your preferred play style or opinions. If not, let’s just agree to disagree.


Visit my premium video, DVD, and products website at DanaKaneSpanks.com.
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Spanking PSA: Bruises – Take Your Medicine



There are ways to avoid light marks associated with spanking play, and to help dissipate bruises faster.
In my experience, both Arnica (taken internally) and Vitamin K are good supplements to take prior to engaging in spanking play. Arnica gel is used by many – as well as Vitamin K oil – topically, and with good effect. Below is an article I found which gives a bit more information on supplements and vitamins. Of course, always check with your physician or pharmacist to make sure that these do not interact with any other medications you are taking.

*****





From eHow:


For people who bruise easily, doctors suggest taking Vitamins C, E and K and zinc to help speed up the healing process of bruises and prevent future bruising. 
Vitamin C can help with bruising because it increases collagen in the body, reduces inflammation and builds up the immune system. This vitamin may be especially helpful because of the citrus bioflavonoids and antioxidants found in citrus fruit. 
Vitamin E is important for the prevention of bruising because it aids in blood-vessel function and tissue repair. 
Vitamin K helps with blood clotting and strengthens the walls surrounding the blood vessels. People often use Vitamin K lotion and supplements to get rid of bruises quickly and to fade spider veins. 
Zinc is a mineral that helps prevent and dissolve bruises because it assists in the development of healthy tissue and skin and is essential to wound healing. The best sources for these nutrients are the foods we eat including fruit, leafy vegetables, whole grains and nuts. These nutrients can also be taken in supplement form.
The most common herbs suggested to prevent and treat bruises are horse chestnut, arnica and grape-seed extract. Horse chestnut treats the inflammation and swelling associated with bruises and broken capillaries as well as other vein conditions such as spider veins and varicose veins. Arnica is a homeopathic herb used to prevent bruises and relieve pain and discomfort associated with tissue injuries. Grape-seed extract has powerful antioxidant properties and makes blood capillaries stronger, resulting in less bruising.


Dr. Oz says:


You may also bruise more easily if you take coumadin, aspirin, or steroids, which all make your capillaries more fragile.  Certain herbs, especially ginkgo, ginseng and glucosamine (the “g” herbs) can make you bruise more easily too.
Also:

The propylene in pineapples can help your bruise to heal faster.
Papaya can help reduce the swelling of your bruise.




*****



Cold compresses help with inflammation as well as bruising. So does massage. It may be a little uncomfortable, but rubbing those strawberries and bruises out is one of the quickest ways to disperse them. Ask your partner to give you a nice next-day bottom massage, or reach back there and give one to yourself.    – Dana

Visit my premium video, DVD, and products website at DanaKaneSpanks.com.
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Spanking PSA: Tears



The ability to reach tears during a discipline session is, for many spankees, an oft-fantasized yet rarely-realized circumstance.

 
(from FemdomArtists.com)

 

Many of my playmates voice the interest (or longing) to express their emotions through tears during the course of a long, hard spanking.


Here are a few things which my experience as a spanker have taught me (Disclaimer: The following may or may not reflect your experience/opinions and are in no way meant to be definitive statements on the spankee community as a whole.):


 –  Female bottoms seem to be more naturally inclined to be able to reach tears during spanking play. 


Why? I’ve no idea, and won’t presume to guess. 


 –  There is almost zero correlation between the severity of a spanking and ones’ ability to reach tears.
   
When we’re children – especially in the first few years of life – physical pain equals crying. Toddlers tip       over and scream their lungs out for approximately forty-five seconds; eight year-olds scrape a knee and you’d swear that someone had just amputated the entire leg, tears, snot and all; but somewhere along the way we learn that it’s not grown-up to fall apart emotionally every time we injure ourselves physically. 


At some time on the way to adulthood, we learn that big boys and girls don’t cry, which means that – in most cases – it doesn’t matter how hard your spanking is – you are unlikely to cry real tears from the discomfort alone.


 –  Trying to cry/forcing it or fake crying will only frustrate you. 


Unless you’re one of those people who can bring tears at any time (a marketable talent if you’re a spanking model),  things like holding your breath, squinching your eyes, and trying to hyperventilate won’t help. Also, saying things like “I don’t know why I can’t cry right now” are no help whatsoever, I’m sorry to say.


 –  Adult crying is something that happens when we think, or talk – not when we scrape our knees.


When a playmate does manage tears during the course of a spanking scene, it is – without exception – a release of pent-up emotion. This is almost always unrelated to the actual spanking activity, and crying most often occurs before or after the spanking itself rather than during.


In my experience, a spankee is most likely to shed tears during conversation prior to beginning the spanking – this may come as the result of some sort of confession on the part of the spankee, or because of some generalized state of guilt which may or may not be verbalized.




Just a handful of times have my bottom and I both been completely caught off-guard by an outburst of genuine sobbing during the course of an over-the-knee spanking. On these few rare occasions, I can honestly say that they were truly cleansing, cathartic experiences for both my playmate and for me.


The only advice that I can offer is: Don’t try too hard. Don’t overthink it. In fact, try not to think about it at all. Adult tears are bashful, private, and wary – they won’t come out while you’re watching for them.


 –  Dana

Visit my premium video, DVD, and products website at DanaKaneSpanks.com.
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Spanking PSA: Safety First. And Second. And Third.



Readers,


It is impossible to say too much about safety, so..


Some of my playmates are twenty-plus year players, and some have trusted me with their first ever adult spankings. I am fortunate to play often, and with an amazingly diverse group of wonderful people. The one thing which all of my lovely spanking partners share is my concern for their well-being, both on and off the lap. That concern naturally extends to the entire community when it comes to personal safety during spanking play.


I know that many of us are well-versed on the do’s and dont’s of spanking safety, but I see nothing wrong with reiterating what may be, to some, new information. Can we touch on a few things, just in case?


The Cleaning of the Implements (also known as Common Sense)


Whether you play with one partner or many, it is absolutely imperative to clean those toys after each and every use. Buy yourself a bottle of Sporicidin (hospital-grade disinfectant) or fill a spray bottle with alcohol and take a minute to insure that it’s done properly by doing it yourself.
If you’re a party, group, or pro player this is even more important. Don’t be afraid to ask that your play partner clean their paddle, cane, or other implement before it is used on your body. If they’re offended, then politely thank them for their time, and then go and find yourself someone who’s as concerned about safety as you are. A quick scan of the internet will educate you quite quickly on the dangers of coming in contact with the germs and fluids of others. Which leads me to:


The Breaking of the Skin (and the Copious Seeping of the Plasma through the Pores)


Unless you are specifically interested in bloodletting and semi-permanent physical damage, there is absolutely, unequivocally, no reason to experience broken skin or seeping, even during the course of a very hard spanking (yes, this includes heavy wood paddles and canes, too). Strawberries, spots, and bruises are natural, especially if you’ve not achieved a high level of conditioning, but skin-breaking most certainly is not a necessary part of spanking activity.


It is possible to cause thinning of the dermis, through repeated breaks, which will cause the skin to be unable to properly repair itself, leaving you with an area which won’t fully recover no matter how long you go between spankings. You don’t want to render yourself unable to play in the future, do you? 
I didn’t think so.
Plasma seepage occurs when the body rushes cells to the assaulted area in an effort to repair the damage that’s been done, and to try and prevent more. This happens with repeated intense impacts, or when the top layer(s) of skin are removed, usually from dense wood implements, or rough-surfaced ones, like sandpaper paddles.


*Note: I am not condemning heavy play, nor am I suggesting that the Breaking of the Skin should never occur. I do, on occasion, take part in heavy punishment scenes in which there is dermal damage – and I do believe that it occasionally contains merit (so does spraying a bit of 90% isopropyl alcohol on a freshly-caned bottom). 


I simply believe that everyone involved should be as careful and responsible as possible on these occasions – and that we should all remember that a great spanking isn’t determined by it’s severity.


The Drawing of the Lines ( i.e. “What the hell are you doing back there?!”)


It is common knowledge among my playmates that I do not allow the use of safe words during play. As I consider spanking a completely consensual act, I see no reason to employ them. If my bottom is feeling particularly physically compromised – either from pain, position, or preoccupation – they are instructed to verbalize this to me directly.
While they consent to submitting to physical discipline, I consent to stop immediately if they achieve a level of sensation which they find truly offensive, and not merely painful.


Whether or not safe words are used, both players’ wishes should be observed and respected at all times. Naturally, the best way to achieve this is to discuss both your expectations and clearly state your limits beforehand. If at any time either spanker or spankee feels as though his or her wishes are not being respected, play should stop immediately. While this seems perfectly rational, I have written previously about the numbers of us who’ve allowed a scene to go too far in the wrong direction…proof that sometimes we overlook ourselves in the effort to not offend.




The spanking community are so very supportive and caring of one another, and I know that there are numerous safety considerations, cleaning techniques, and tips which I have not covered here. Please take a moment to share some of your Safe Spanko Wisdom with other readers in the comment box below.


Play safe, and have fun.


– Dana




P.S. Happy holidays!

 

Visit my premium video, DVD, and products website at DanaKaneSpanks.com.
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Spanking PSA: Professional Etiquette

Readers,


While the content of this PSA may not pertain to all of you, I believe that it will serve as an excellent learning tool for some.


There are some things which I consider understood and unspoken that, sadly, do not naturally occur to everyone. While I am not in the advice-giving business, nor do I speak for my fellow professional disciplinarians, it seems a good idea to point out some generally helpful guidelines for those considering contacting/interacting with myself or one of my skilled contemporaries.


First, it is recommended that you take a look at the website of the person with whom you’d like to communicate. Actually read about them, their interests, and their preferred method of contact.


Then, stop. Think about what you’d like to say before you say it. If you are thinking of using any of the myriad words to describe your genitalia, it’s state or function, or of discussing your masturbatory habits…go back to the first guideline. Does the person in question specifically request – anywhere on the site – this information? (The answer will almost always be NO – they do not.) 


This is about your backside, not your front side.


Next, either make a considerate telephone call or send a respectful introductory email. Introduce yourself, state your interests, and provide any requested information.


That seems very simple, doesn’t it?


Just in case, here are a couple examples:


Example #1: The Bad Email Example


hey, call me i need a hard spankin 
how much do u charge?


Example #2: The Good Email Example


Hello Ms Kane,


My name is Joe and I am interested in receiving a spanking from you. I am 54, fit, and have references available upon request. Please let me know if I may be considered.


Regards,
Joe
###-###-####


– Dana

Visit my premium video, DVD, and products website at DanaKaneSpanks.com.
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Spanking PSA: Trust



When trying to think of something tangible to demonstrate the basic concept of trust here, I naturally thought of something that we’ve probably all seen, at least on television..

..the ‘trust game’.
 

One person allows him or herself to fall backward from some height, trusting that the people standing behind will catch them, like so:

 
 
This is an excellent demonstration of trust, not only of the ‘faller’ but of the ‘catchers’ as well. 
The faller must trust that everyone behind him will stand the proper distance apart, with arms properly extended and knees properly braced for absorbing his weight. He must trust that one or more of them will not step away at the last second, from fear or reflex or plain meanness. He must also trust that this little experiment works…because he’s seen it on television, too.
The people standing behind are usually not considered in this part of the equation, but I believe that they are putting just as much trust in the faller as he is putting in them.  The catchers must trust that the faller will not panic and fling out his arms and legs dangerously; they must trust that the people around them will not step away, leaving them with an impossible burden; they must even trust that, in the event of an unfortunate accident, the faller will not single them out for his misfortune.
 
*****
 
You may be wondering what my point is. And then again, you may not..
not if you’re a spanko.
 
We invest an immense amount of trust in one another, tops and bottoms, playmates and buddies.
 
 
If you’re one of my playmates, you’ve likely received a hearty ‘Thank You!’ from me – for the trust that you’ve placed in me, in so many ways. I simply cannot say it enough.
 
(And while most of you tend more to flop forward than fall back, it is always my distinct pleasure to catch you.)
 
If you’re a contributor to this blog, you’ve trusted me with your thoughts, writings, artworks, and opinions. If you’re a reader, you’ve trusted me with your time. Thank you. Thank you. 
Thank you.
 
– Dana
*****
Visit my premium video, DVD, and products website at DanaKaneSpanks.com.
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Spanking PSA: Understanding Male Bottoms



Those uninitiated to the nuances of spanking play, corporal punishment, and the general world of BDSM may have difficulties understanding why a successful, intelligent, well-rounded and likely ‘dominant’ man would ever allow himself to be topped, disciplined, or punished for being naughty.


Occasionally, even others among our ranks assume a hard-headed ignorance of the why’s and wherefore’s of the male bottom perspective.


Some do not understand the concept of Role-Play. Some do not understand the concept of Play itself, in any form, and are very likely missing some integral empathy gene.


The truth is really quite simple:
Becoming a successful adult male is tough. I do not speak only of financial successes: education, temperance, mannerly behavior, good parenting and partner skills, and the desire and drive for knowledge are all necessary components of adult male (and female, for that matter) success.


We all need a break. From work. From stress. From responsibility.


Sometimes, and for some men, spanking – and other BDSM-related activities – is a way to shrug away the stress, let go the responsibility, and allow someone else to be in control…if only for a short time. 


These men are most usually not submissives. They most certainly are not slaves. They do not crave cruel, sadistic dominance from a cold-spirited humiliatrix.


What they do crave is understanding. It should be easy to understand why a person would feel a buildup of  stress feelings after a full week of dealing with possibly incompetent coworkers, missing out on family/social commitments – or making every one of them and missing out on sleep, driving in traffic, and generally dealing with the things that make us all a bit crazy every day.


It should also be easy to understand why, then, a person may choose to receive a stern lecture regarding his treatment of employees, or a disciplinary spanking to reinforce time-management, or even to be made to stand in the corner – to think about what he has done.


Equally as simple should be the concept that one may enjoy wearing panties, or being made to kiss the feet of his playmate, in order to not only feel closer to the gentler side of himself but to allow himself some modicum of shame, which we’re all now taught is something to be hidden or despised.


This is not, for any number of wholly inexplicable societal reasons, a side of themselves that most men are able to share freely. And those who do are sometimes viewed as less masculine, less ‘dominant’ for their pursuits…a most ill-informed and patently wrong assessment. To a man, they are just as manly as any other man on any other day in any other situation.


And don’t you forget it.


Most Sincerely,
Dana Kane

DanaKaneSpanks@gmail.com

Visit my premium video, DVD, and products website at DanaKaneSpanks.com.
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Spanking PSA: Discipline as Therapy



Most prospective playmates do not write to me requesting severe punishments or harsh treatment. Most have no interest in experiencing unrealistic levels of discomfort or in reliving any childhood traumas. 


They write seeking respite, relaxation, and peace of mind. 


There is no empirical data on impact play as therapy, of course, but I am willing to wager that there are some interesting correlations between spanking and mood elevation. 


Post-play, ‘spankers’ AND ‘spankees’ report decreased muscle tension, clarity of thought, and increased positive energies. For many, anxieties and depressive tendencies are lessened – a well-known fact among those of us who enjoy this type of activity.


Consider that endorphins are the brain chemicals which release ‘feel good’ feelings. Neurotransmitters and endorphins are released both during times of strenuous physical activity and of emotional peaks and valleys. Hence, the ‘rush’ experienced after a run, a workout, or a heated debate. 


This same process naturally occurs during spanking play. 


The bottom line? 
Get a spanking (or give one) – it’ll make you feel better.


– Dana

DanaKaneSpanks@gmail.com

Visit my premium video, DVD, and products website at DanaKaneSpanks.com.
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Spanking PSA: Tardiness



If you are tardy – you had better have an Excellent Reason. 
Not an Excuse.
(Very few exist of the former, and very many of the latter.)

“Spanking

 

Traffic is an Excuse. 
It is ever-present.

Leave earlier.

Oversleeping is an Excuse. 
You are an adult. 
Get up when your alarm rings.

Tired is an Excuse. 
And so is Busy.
Get more rest. 
Learn to better manage your time.
Do not make more Excuses for failing to do so.


DanaKaneSpanks@gmail.com
Visit my premium video, DVD, and products website at DanaKaneSpanks.com.