Spanking PSA: Tears

The ability to reach tears during a discipline session is, for many spankees, an oft-fantasized yet rarely-realized circumstance.

(from FemdomArtists.com)

 

Many of my playmates voice the interest (or longing) to express their emotions through tears during the course of a long, hard spanking.


Here are a few things which my experience as a spanker have taught me (Disclaimer: The following may or may not reflect your experience/opinions and are in no way meant to be definitive statements on the spankee community as a whole.):


 –  Female bottoms seem to be more naturally inclined to be able to reach tears during spanking play. 


Why? I’ve no idea, and won’t presume to guess. 


 –  There is almost zero correlation between the severity of a spanking and ones’ ability to reach tears.
   
When we’re children – especially in the first few years of life – physical pain equals crying. Toddlers tip       over and scream their lungs out for approximately forty-five seconds; eight year-olds scrape a knee and you’d swear that someone had just amputated the entire leg, tears, snot and all; but somewhere along the way we learn that it’s not grown-up to fall apart emotionally every time we injure ourselves physically. 


At some time on the way to adulthood, we learn that big boys and girls don’t cry, which means that – in most cases – it doesn’t matter how hard your spanking is – you are unlikely to cry real tears from the discomfort alone.


 –  Trying to cry/forcing it or fake crying will only frustrate you. 


Unless you’re one of those people who can bring tears at any time (a marketable talent if you’re a spanking model),  things like holding your breath, squinching your eyes, and trying to hyperventilate won’t help. Also, saying things like “I don’t know why I can’t cry right now” are no help whatsoever, I’m sorry to say.


 –  Adult crying is something that happens when we think, or talk – not when we scrape our knees.


When a playmate does manage tears during the course of a spanking scene, it is – without exception – a release of pent-up emotion. This is almost always unrelated to the actual spanking activity, and crying most often occurs before or after the spanking itself rather than during.


In my experience, a spankee is most likely to shed tears during conversation prior to beginning the spanking – this may come as the result of some sort of confession on the part of the spankee, or because of some generalized state of guilt which may or may not be verbalized.




Just a handful of times have my bottom and I both been completely caught off-guard by an outburst of genuine sobbing during the course of an over-the-knee spanking. On these few rare occasions, I can honestly say that they were truly cleansing, cathartic experiences for both my playmate and for me.


The only advice that I can offer is: Don’t try too hard. Don’t overthink it. In fact, try not to think about it at all. Adult tears are bashful, private, and wary – they won’t come out while you’re watching for them.


 –  Dana