Readers,
We talk a lot about all the ways in which a bottom may be hurt or harmed during spanking play, and we’re all very conscious of those things – rightfully so – but we rarely talk about all the nasty crap that can happen to the spankER during the very same scene.
Let’s look at a few ways in which my playmates have endangered my life and limbs over the years, likely in retribution for many, many sit spot whacks. Please feel free to empathize with me and other tops, for all the pain and woe we slog through, just to spank your misbehaving behinds.
1. Sticks and Stones, and Feet: I have a particularly kick-y playmate who, while doing his very best impression of an alligator death roll off my lap, managed to twist himself into such a position – AS I WAS SWINGING – that my hairbrush landed squarely on…
wait for it…
my right thumb knuckle. Hard. Now hitting the backside, all squishy and full of fat and muscles and stuff, is one thing, but hitting a bony appendage is a Whole Other Thing Entirely. Agony and swelling were immediate, but, not to be outdone by short-term issues, the knuckle now sits entirely crooked, probably forever.
*Feet also make great Face Connectors. Unless you’re on the shorter side, there’s a very high likelihood that, if you swing your feet up high enough, they’ll come into intimate contact with some part of my face. This is not a Good Thing for anyone, as I will seriously beat you to death if you kick me in the face.
2. Hippy-Hippy-Bruise: Those of you who work hard to maintain a certain physique are, rightfully, proud of yourselves and the effort you’ve made toward general healthfulness. What you’re NOT aware of is this: Your hipbones are sharp, protruding, little cheeseburger-craving knives which stab into your spankers upper thigh in such a manner that one almost has to wonder whether you’re skinny on purpose, just so you can use those things as weapons. The most common injury that I sustain is a nasty purple bruise slashing across my left thigh, in the exact spot you’ve been torturing me with your fitness.
*Conversely, it’s always the not-so-skinny who are concerned about ‘hurting me’ when going OTK. Trust me when I tell you that you are NOT going to hurt me, regardless of the size of your underpants.
3. Back-i-otomy : This is, I believe, the generally accepted medical term for the procedure to remove one’s back altogether – because it’s both painful and useless. From what I’ve read on the AMA website, professional spankers are the largest demographic of Back-i-otomy surgery, and the success rate is pretty high, as long as they avoid spanking altogether in the future. (Seriously, the crummy back’s not your fault – you just exacerbate it.)
*If you’ve opened another tab to search ‘back-i-otomy’, I cannot help you.
4. Biting the Hand that Spanks You : Okay, so you’re not the ones who actually do the biting; it’s the implements that bite. Hard. Leather belts, straps, tawses, and anything else long and slinky is, I PROMISE you, going to snap back and bite the living hell out of the back of the wielder’s hand at least once. You just looove the belt, huh? Well, us, not so much. There’s a reason for that, and it’s called It Hurts…of course, we do it anyway, because the trade off is that, hopefully, it hurts you more.
There’s more. So much more. But I don’t want to give you all the impression that I’d have it any other way.
Bring it on.
– Dana
OMG there is so much that I can say about this post but sometimes tonality gets lost in the typed word and I am not sure I wouldn’t sound insincere or like a smart ass. And since we don’t know each other and you don’t know what my voice sounds like, that would probably be a little inappropriate. (huge run on sentence I know)
So in the meantime I will just say, omg poor you, that totally has to suck.
AJ
PS did that sound sincere? I think it did :-)
Dana, has your hand ever been assed? (I believe Ten came up with that term.) That’s when, after a lot of vigorous hand spanking, the palm has a blood blister. I have very proudly caused a few of those. :-D
Erica,
Once, a very long time ago, a boy with a very maximus gluteus managed to ass my hand. That one was his freebie~
One! Two! Three!
AAWWW! Poor Dana!
I hope you invested in a great disability insurance plan or could collect Worker’s Comp if you are temporarily put out of commission for a spanking related injury.
It would be interesting to modify carpal tunnel syndrome into corporal tunnel syndrome when you overdo your spanking hand whaling on those bratty bottoms. HA!!
All kidding aside that knuckle injury HAD to have hurt like
EFFING HELL!
I’ve heard some tops mention errant shoes flying up into the air and nearly conking them on the head or face.
Dana, please post a warning not to eat or drink when you get sarcastic. I spit liquid all over my cat when I read alligator death roll because I pictured it.
Also don’t forget Carpel tunnel and I am pretty sure you have broken a nail or 2
about the knuckle injury . . .
If you do not currently see a chiropractor from time to time, i would recommend that. I even know one in Vegas from several years ago.
Also, if you wish, you may wish to consider being Rolfed and/or receiving “deep tissue” massage, which very few massage practitioners do very well, even of those who offer or advertise it. When your muscles are injured, one way they tend to react is by becoming more tight. Once they are tight, they lack the endurance they had previously and they get tired and in pain much more quickly than previously. the Rolfer or a good massage practitioner will work on the muscles in such a way as to break up “adhesions,” which is the fancy way of saying “place where the muscle fibers are stuck together.” However, the “work” of breaking up adhesions is painful, but worth it. Afterwards, you are in lots better shape.
God help you with your knuckle!
Fell your pain. Have hit my own fingers more times than I care to admit. Not to say that I still don’t make him pay for it. ;)
Amen sister!
Sorry Dana…died laughing when read you hit your own knuckle…as i read further realise it can’t have been funny so apologies..xx…i love getting the ladies slipper so your knuckles would have been safe!!!….thanks…love the blog..xx
Well…you know that if you didn’t hit us skinny people so hard with giant paddles you wouldn’t drive our poor bones into your quad muscle. Just sayin’.
Just let me know if you would like me to autograph the bruise you have on your thigh, it would be my pleasure! #leavingamarkwhereverigo
Dana,
I was thinking maybe you should wear boxing gloves when you spank. They are padded and will protect your hands. This way you can concentrate on the spanking and not have to worry about any snap backs.
I want you to know that I took a moment to empathize with you and started feeling bad about the dangers you face during each spanking. Then I remembered the Delrin punishment, so I stopped being empathetic.
TheVBB
To all you bottoms,
You suck.
Seriously, I’m happy that we can all laugh together about my pains and aches. Let’s hope, for all your sakes, that you find YOUR pain and ache as funny, next time.
Dearest Dana,
The next time you spank me and hurt your lethal weapon hand, I will HAPPILY go to the nearest McDonald’s and buy you a gourmet 20 piece Chicken McNugget consolation lunch.
You’re welcome.
Alexis, that just made me gag a little…
Wow, Dana, as bottoms, we don’t think about the dangers tops face while they are spanking us. The feet can certainly give you hard blows to the face, which is painful. The implements you use can also backfire when tops end up hurting themselves like you did. I can only hope that I don’t hurt you while I am on the receiving end of discipline.
Hi Dana, I hope you’ve never hurt yourself while paddling me. I couldn’t live with myself if you did. I have a hand wrap called “knuckle punch.” It’s a Martial Arts piece that slips over your hand to protect your knuckles when hitting the heavy bag. It would be perfect for your situation. Ray
Hate to tell you this Dana, but I don’t feel sorry for you in the least…. and that belt or strap that you use on me hopefully will get you everytime that you use it on me.. now that makes me “Smile”. E
My wife was spanking me with a fairly cheap plastic hairbrush, which hurt like heck on my end, but actually broke over my bottom, resulting in the business end flying up and hitting her in the eye! Nothing serious, but certainly shows the potential for the injuries of which you speak! (My attempts to stifle laughter ended up with me in the corner, panties down, for a few minutes.)