As a spankophile and disciplinarian, I heartily adhere to the idea that not all offenses are spank-worthy.
It’s no secret that some spank-cravers will go to great lengths to ‘earn’ a spanking – bratting, self-destructive acts, outright defiance, and the like, are employed to try and earn a spanking reaction from their spanker..it’s fun for them.
This manipulative behavior rarely results in a spanking from me, as I am usually sure that that’s exactly what said brat wants. Spanking him or her for this type of behavior only further reinforces the likelihood of this scenario occurring over and over again. Non-corporal punishments, however, are sometimes really very excruciating exercises which are guaranteed to contain no ‘fun’ whatsoever.
Writing assignments are very effective. A typical assignment may be anything from handwritten lines to Accountability Reports to a written report on specific bad behaviors. (Accountability…very important.)
Corner/quiet time is sometimes also effective, although for some spanking enthusiasts it’s part of the private shaming or embarrassment (i.e. ‘fun’) part.
I’ve instructed a playmate to look at himself in the mirror every morning and repeat positive, self-affirming statements. This was quite possibly the most torturous non-corporal punishment to date – at least in his opinion.
Mouthsoaping also falls under the ‘sometimes fun’ category – at least in fantasy. I’ve found that, even though many spankos fantasize about this non-corporal punishment, many find it absolutely disgusting in practice. Careful what you wish for..
I also believe that some behaviors are naughty enough to warrant both a spanking AND some sort of non-corporal punishment.
In a few cases, I’ve videotaped and publicly released the spanking punishments of my personal playmates. This public shaming has an entirely different effect on the psyche of the spankee, as now, theoretically, the whole world will know what they’ve done.
The Naughty Bench comes in handy after a good discipline spanking, as well. It’s constructed to be as uncomfortable as possible on a recently-spanked bottom, and a few minutes on the Bench is an excellent reinforcement to the discipline just received.
Most non-corporal punishments can naturally be paired with a hearty spanking in order to achieve a more clear and lasting understanding. Along with writing assignments, public shaming, cornertime and mouthsoaping, other excellent variations include:
Being ignored is the worst punishment of all!!
The best behavior should be rewarded with spankings, even particularly painful ones. See above ;)
In separate role play spankings I did some corner time with my bottom fully clothed after a lengthy spanking. This scene was a VERY defiant teenage student vs her stubborn female teacher. I am great friends with that top and I mooned her while in the corner which earned MORE bare bottomed paddling/strappings for me.
Another role play took place at last year’s Boardwalk Badness. Prior to this particular spanking I was handed a piece of paper and pen and told to write a paragraphing defining what it means to respect others.
Since I truly DO enjoy the pain of a hard spanking, I would like to be madfe to sit on a spanking bench or some other hard object either bare bottomed or covered.
NO way would I ever agree to a mouth soaping, enema, or scrubbing someone’s floors. Those activities may be perfect for some people…ME NOT in the slightest.
“I’ve instructed a playmate to look at himself in the mirror every morning and repeat positive, self-affirming statements. This was quite possibly the most torturous non-corporal punishment to date – at least in his opinion”
Yes it was…!
Cornertime is good to let me reflect about why I am this situation. I have had mouth soaping a couple of times, the last time I was mouthy during my strapping so she stopped went to the kitchen and came back with a half a bar of Ivory soap which she stuck in my mouth as she continued to strap me. That was punishment believe me. E
In my personal experience, the worst possible punishment was knowing that I pushed my top too far and she was not happy. The serious tone she took and the look she gave made me feel bad enough that I would have taken any punishment to make her not mad anymore. I do think that disapproval shown towards certain behavior works well, as long as the top is sure to communicate that disappointment doesn’t equal withdrawal of caring.
Standing in the corner and receiving a serious lecture have both worked well too. I have also found that being made to explain out loud the thought process behind behavior that was the result of a lack of clear thinking was quite effective.
I know it sounds simple, but herding a particularly resistant and snotty little beast into a very, VERY, cold shower, really gets their attention. The couple of times I deployed this, it was met with the sort of shock and disbelief that I found particularly satisfying. Go figure! Still, they come back.
I’ve tried many different non-spanking punishments. Usually in our case a non-spanking punishment is given after a real spanking. Just when she thought she got exactly what she wanted I tell her there is more to come, mouth soaping, corner-time and/or anal discomfort or maybe just leave her strapped down on the spanking bench for awhile.
I agree with pepper me; being ignored is what more than likely got us here in the first place.
Dear Dana,
My wife is a fan of yours,she has purchased many of the implements you have tested. She is very stict like you are of course. Not to take anything away from your methods of punishing a naughty bottom. But I rathar have you punish me than my wife! She can really make me cry like I did when I was a boy! She uses corner time, and will embarrass me if stangers arrive by giving me a discipline spanking right in front of them. I rather she punish me in private, can you post a reply to my wife telling her to please spank me in private!
While it is rare that I find myself disagreeing with Ms. Dana about anything, in my personal situation I find that my bottom begins to wonder if I still care if misbehavior is not recognized and dealt with as quickly as possible. This wondering leads, in turn, to increasingly poor behavior/attitude which is clearly an undesirable outcome for all concerned.
I also note that there was a good discussion here about the difference between discipline and punishment spankings. While there are, I suppose occasions where my bottom wants a punishment spanking, it’s not the spanking she’s craving, but rather release from guilt and the slate-cleaning forgiveness that follows it. I think I can fairly say that she’s never wanted to be punished for the “pleasure of the spanking”.
Even with lesser offenses, however, discipline spankings can be put off for a while depending on her physical condition, location, etc. Even so, they are never “forgotten”, and a running list of transgressions is maintained until the accrued debts are satisfied.
I have used many of the non-corporal add-ons Ms. Dana described, but they are principally to intensify the experience for my bottom rather than to replace the spanking she so richly deserves.
I think the worst non-corporal punishment I ever had was a period of full on restriction. I was restricted from everything except work/school and other necessary things (grocery shopping once a week). I was given a set schedule of times I had to be up by and times I had to be in bed, one hour of computer time a day (or one hour of tv, but I’m an internet junkie), and was even restricted from having sweets and any drink except water or tea. And as bad as all that was, the worst part was that the restriction was on-going with no set time limit as it was put in place to counteract something I had not been doing for quite some time and which ended up taking a really long time for me to fix and get done (though thankfully once it was clear I’d been pretty well punished and was absolutely on top of things the restriction was lifted but that was still a solid two weeks). It was harsh and painful in terms of mental suffering, but was what was necessary to both punish and counteract the behavior that had earned it.
As for corner time, lines, etc. I hate lines the most as my Domme requires each page to be perfect, so if I mess up one line on a page, I have to redo the entire page before it can be considered done. Mouth soaping is one of those things I *know* is horrible and it’s so very close to being a hard limit for me that it’s held in reserve for what she considers the worst offense: lying to her.
Corner time…it depends on how it’s used. I’ve had great corner times where I’m given a good ten or fifteen minutes with a specific issue to focus on and think about and those are good for clearing my mind, calming myself, and focusing on the matter at hand. That sort of a corner time generally makes me more submissive and helps me to understand what the problem is we’re dealing with and how I got myself into the situation. Then there’s the corner time where she’s just sending me because she knows I don’t want to be in the corner and I’m given nothing to focus on and I spend the time wondering when I can come out and resenting that I’m in the corner. Those are less positive experiences. Sometimes I think she does it that way sometimes simply as part of her assertion of authority (which is fine, she’s got the right; but I can still grumble a bit anyway).
Most of the time these days, a spanking suffices to deal with any problems we have. I don’t generally break my rules and occasionally when I get to that borderline where I might be going over the edge, she usually notices and I get a quick reminder spanking. Non-corporal punishments only come into play when it’s something we’ve talked about more than once in recent times. For instance, I’ve been told that if we have to talk about me getting enough sleep again any time soon, I can expect lines and anything else she decides on to go along with my spanking.
I think the use of such non-corporal punishments/activities as part of a spanking/spanking relationship depend very much on the people involved and what works for them. Too much corner time for no reason would make me resentful, but I’ve talked to a bottom who thrives on standing in the corner for hours, absolutely loves it. And as with the difference between punishment and discipline, I think mindset plays a huge role in how people perceive what’s going on.
Just my two cents,
Cras
P.S. I made it almost to the point of posting this before realizing that I’d been typing it as “non-corporeal” which would have made it very hard to take anything I said seriously, I’m sure.
Making me wait for a response for 24 hours after wrong doing is like sending me to my room as a kid to think about what I’ve done, not knowing if I will get a spanking or thinking she doesn’t care is the worse kind punishment, therefore I immediately get to work to show my disciplinarian of all I’ve done since confessing in case I’m asked. Like quietgirl, my discipliarian just showing anger/disappointment towards me is enough for me to behave. Embarrassment also hurts; knowing I have to see and discuss a specific issue face to face can be enough to curtail my bad behavior, i.e., being lectured! I haven’t had to write an essay about my bad behavior, but I know I would hate that task, therefore it would be a great punishment. The implement that scares me the most, a cane. All I would need is the threat of a cane being used on me and I would straighten right up. Fear is a great tool to use on me in particular. A spanking is not always necessary, but fear has more meaning, yet follow-through is also important. If I think I can get away with something I test it and then that can be considered fun for me. What does not seem to work on me anymore; a “maintenance” spanking since I’ve built a tolerance to its action and usually know what to expect. I know it will hurt, but I also know that it will be tolerable within hours, with the exception of the Cane of course. I’ve never received a non-spanking punishment after a spanking, but I do believe it would be a reinforcement tool that would absolutely work on me that I would hate. Study assignments would be horrible too!