There’s something in the water here.
It’s dirt, for the most part. There’s also the remains of a small town at the bottom of the lake, which is now, technically, also the top of the lake.
Lake Mead used to be this big giant body of water, all held back steadfastly by wondrous Hoover Dam, supplying life-giving water to not only the Las Vegas Valley but large parts of central and southern California. Now that damn dam is holding back a muddy puddle. We still get our water from there, and we still send some to California, too, but it’s getting sketchy. Something about not enough rain and/or snow in the Colorado Rockies for several years in a row. And something else about Harrison Ford growing almonds (or was it avocados?) in the desert. Mostly it’s just humans. Lots and lots of us, living in places that are lush with greenery and dripping with cement ponds that are, in fact, meant to be covered in sand, scrub, and skinny snakes.
Most people think that it’s all those glittery casinos on the Strip that cause Las Vegas to be one of the most heinous energy abusers in the country, but in the case of water they’re pretty benign, making up only about four percent of the city’s annual usage. Most of the gnarly water waste goes on at the dozens of golf courses surrounding the valley, and in our very own front yards. There’s something about living in the middle of the Mojave that makes folks want to grow pears and figs and water lilies, for some reason. My neighbors have pomegranate trees and as green a gigantic-pool-surrounding-backyard as you can grow any wet place in the country. It’s a little silly when you think about it, considering how much room (and water, and grass) there is in, say, Idaho for instance.
Why do so many people want to live here? Why are there nearly 2 million people squeezed into a valley that used to be home to a handful of tribes?
It’s not the mild climate, that’s for sure.
Yes, it’s hotter than hades here again. We hit a seizure-inducing 112 a couple days ago; that was the same day the air conditioning went out. Luckily, homes here are built with two separate cooling units (see above reference to energy abusers) so that if one goes out the place doesn’t turn into one giant EasyBake oven. Still, the best prescription for this is to hold very still and drink more iced tea…so I’m fine, crisis averted, and the nice man came today and made it all better. He had to climb onto the roof in order to fix whatever was un-fixed, where I’m sure the temperature was around 125 in the roof’s reflection of the afternoon sun. I felt a little bad that he had to get so hot in order to make us cool again, but the cats are creatures of leisure and sacrifices must be made.
Speaking of the cats, Mister Pancakes is still feeling pretty crummy and would like everyone to leave him alone. This includes the other cats, who are trying to figure out why he’s getting extra stuff in his mouth all the time (medicine). They’re doing hardcore kitty research by following him everywhere he goes and meowing in his face a lot. This would piss anyone off, and he is duly offended.
The humans in charge of putting things in cat’s mouths (and the dog, too, but they don’t really care about him) are thoroughly enjoying this summer’s Advanced At-Home Mojito-Making Classes, held weekly in the kitchen, as well as occasional trips to the supermarket for more cat food (and other stuff they don’t care about). It’s nice to sit still sometimes and, as much as I miss seeing a bunch of my spanko buddies, I’m having a ball sleeping in my own bed every night. It may just be that you’ll all have to come and visit me here, in Las Vegas.
Bring water.
– Dana
As much as I would like to bring water “As we have had going on Two feet of the stuff this last month or so!
I think it would be better for you to come here and No need to bring Wood or leather we have plenty of that also!
I just don’t have a Lap to lay over to drink all the cold water and Spank the Nice white butt that needs a good tan!
tanned,
You are blessed with an abundance of water there, among just about everything else. Yes dear, keep rubbing that in…I’ll bring the Delrin.
Tanned,
Please send us your rain. We would gladly use it. Our beautiful, lush, green Pacific Northwest is turning black and the poor animals have no where to go. Sad days here in our neck of the woods. The weather is just so wonky these days.
Keep your feet dry, and your butt warm :)
Stacy
The hottest temp I ever experienced where I live was 100 degrees. But I KNOW I would prefer 112 instead of TWELVE which happens all too often during our evil winters. If I could I would choose to live in Nevada, Arizona or California during winter.
Kelly,
You’ve hit upon the most critical part of my weather report – it could be worse. Ha! Yes, our 112 is better than your 12, or -12, or -40, any day of the week (and twice on Sundays). oxx
Dana,
Would love to bring some water, but am afraid we have used it all up fighting a million fires here in the Pacific NW. Mother Nature may need a ‘spanking’ ASAP to produce some serious ‘Behavior Modification’ in the form of RAIN. I am afraid for all those in peril, and the smoke is so thick that people can hardly breathe. A doozy of a summer on the West Coast for sure. You are getting baked, and we are getting burned-up (literally). I will say, I am very grateful for the geographic location of my home (and that it has not burned to the ground) and safety of my furry family.
Too bad Pancakes is still under the weather. Kitty kisses for him…
I like your idea of ‘water replacement’ therapy…Mojitos. Yum!
Well, (of which you may have to dig one for water), please do take care and please avoid those heat-inducing seizures at all cost. I will bring water when I see you next…if there is any left over. (However, it may be masking itself as a big bottle of Vodka instead. Who didn’t water down the Vodka bottle as a kid, right…lol). See I wasn’t always well-behaved! I know, your shocked, aren’t you?…lol
Love and Hugs to The Kane Household! Stay well everyone.
Stacy
Stacy,
Vodka in the water bottle?! Oh missy, we’re going to have to talk about *that* one. You’ll need help putting out a wildfire, too, when we’re done. oxxo
Hmmm…I may have to bring my fire-retardant panties with me.
Heh~
I love your way with words…this gave me a great image of your neck of the woods (not so dissimilar to my own). And I appreciate the way you infuse humor into your writing, like you would, say, mint in peppermint vodka.
Good luck with your summer experimentation. I’m sure the creatures won’t let you forget them no matter what :)
BT,
Ah, now you’re just trying to get on my good side (which you’ve already done). oxox
I love this beautifully humorous combination of the history, geography, and climatology of the Las Vegas area. I don’t know the plural of “turn of phrase,” but you sure put a lot of them in there! I hope Mister Pancakes can get better and that the other kitties give him a little peace.
Cautious,
Occasionally I have a hard time thinking of anything to post here, so when that happens you all get Little Known and Cared-For Facts, I guess. Glad you enjoyed them!
I have been to Vegas 2 times. I like the lights. Of course ADHD boy liks the lights. I don’t gamble, I tried it a few times. I suck at it. I may as well light my money on fire. Although do ask me about the time I figured I could double the 200 bucks I had left until my student loan came through, could be a really good scene. I don’t drink. I am a boy who likes to be at the pool. I can do that pretty much anywhere. One of the things I did like is that in Vegas, just like LA or Palm Springs, I dont sneeze or get congested.
If I were ever to return I do want to see the area outside of the strip. Of course pretty much at this point it have no real reason to go. Although I do admit if I were to go it would be because of you :-)
AJ,
As long as you don’t leave the faucet on, you’re welcome anytime. ~
It would never happen. I don’t drink water.
Dear Ms. Dana Kane,
I’m very worried about the water issue you face in Las Vegas. So I spent the morning pouring over maps of the world to try and come up with a solution to your problem. As I waded through the maps, I had just one mission in mind. Find somewhere in this vast world that has something akin to H20 (water). It was a very long and often discouraging journey, but I do believe I’ve found a solution to your lack of water. I noticed on one map that there is a big thing of water called the Gulf of Mexico, I’m not totally sure that’s the name, it was an old map. Anyway, it seems that if you follow the gulf, it can lead you to something called the Caribbean Sea, Ocean, Lake, Pond or something like that. So I did some more research and apparently there is a whole lot of this wet stuff people call water in both the Gulf and the Caribbean. So that got me wondering, what do people do with such a large amount of water. I first noticed that there were lots of little islands all over the place. This would explain how there are so many people that live out among all this water. If it were not for these little piles of dirt and tress in the middle of all this water, I think there would be a lot of people just bobbing around in all that water. I spent a few hours looking at pictures of this wild untamed area of the world, and to my surprise, I noticed there were more than just people bobbing around in the water. Apperantly, there are these floaty things that float in the water and some how when those people who bob in the water get tired, they climb up on these giant floaty things. I’m not sure what they are called, but it looks as those people will spend 5 to 14 days on these big floaty things. Some will even stay longer. It seems that those who are on these things have a great time, people are singing, dancing, eating, drinking water, laying in the sun, playing games, watching a gigantic screen of some sort. It’s all looks so much fun. Then when the people get tired and it gets dark, they all go to sleep. But what is weird, is that when they wake up they start having fun all over again. It’s the coolest thing I’ve ever seen. Anyway, it just made me think that if you found yourself on one of these floaty things in the Gulf or in the Caribbean, you would have so much fun that you would forget all about your water problems and other issues that are bothering you. I’m sure your cats would enjoy a week or so of quietness around the house with no spanking sounds. It sounds like just what the Vet ordered.
VBB,
Wow, that sounds like a new and novel concept that I hadn’t previously considered. What, pray tell, do these people do with their pets while they’re on the floating thingys? And, are alcoholic beverages included? What about Cuban cigars? We will have to look into this phenomenon further, methinks.. oxxo
PS. Is there spanking??
Maybe a lot of us can come up with one of these floating things and have a fun time whacking each other. Ah, yes. Dream on!
A cruise for spanking-weirdos…I love it!
Us folks here in Southern California need that Lake Mead and Hoover Dam water also. Its due to no rain, no snow and yes folks “global warming.”
I don’t understand, I hear so many complaints about California (and Los Angeles), then WHY did the WORLD move here?
Since I’m in Southern California, I have no water to bring you if I could come to visit. :-(
I hope your little kitty gets better. Oh, saw this wonderful way to make cat food: salmon (fresh) slice the salmon, add 1/2 cup lemon and butter in blender,blender to a creamy texture. Place the finished blend in jelly molds of different sizes (two). Add sliced seaweed (it looked solid–frozen maybe) as garnish slices on the salmon molds. Place on a nice plate and watched you kitty eat it all up! :)
Stay cool and send some more water to us in CA. :)
xoxoxo
(BTW—I sent you the event pic, what did you think)
Lynn,
We all moved here because this is where people go – or New York, but it’s too cold for me there. Shame it’s becoming such a wasteland now (or, I should say, again).
I haven’t reached the area of my email containing your messages yet, but I see them there. Soon, I promise. oxxo
And thanks for the recipe – I’ll give it a look..
This post makes me thankful for the fog and mist that I wake up to every morning.
Becky,
All of us here are living in a state of constant fog/mist envy.~~