Yes, Mexico. (Unrelated to Spanking)

 

Readers,

It’s that time of year again – the time of year when I begin to obsess about vacationing. To be fair, I do a pretty large amount of fantasizing about lying around on the beach year ’round, but it gets particularly bad beginning around the first of March. I know spring’s happening soon and that before long it’ll be warm enough to swim…and there I go. Googling ‘best beaches’, ‘cheap vacations in exotic locales’ and ‘how to vacation once a month’, I find a never-ending trail of photos which would make even the most hardcore couch surfer twitch.

There’s Maldives, just about universally agreed to be the most beautiful beach-lovers-hallelujah-place on the planet..

 

 

Then there’s Sardinia..

 

And the Bahamas, which, as reported by astronauts, has the bluest water anywhere on earth..

 

And then there’s Mexico.

Mexico, you say? Isn’t that where people get beheaded and kidnapped and narco’d and stuff? Well, yes, stuff like that does go on there, but it goes on here too, and we already live here.

The area of Mexico called the Yucatan peninsula (Quintana Roo, specifically) has some of the most beautiful beaches anywhere, and almost-shore-access to world class Barrier Reef snorkeling; the place is practically crawling with ancient Mayan ruins – you can’t toss an iguana and not hit something fantastically dark built by people thousands of years ago; and, if you’re at all a connoisseur, Riviera Maya beachside fish tacos are probably the best in the world. I’ve not mentioned yet that one may purchase Cuban cigars there and smoke them in full view of the general public, and one may also rest assured that polite public drunkenness is not only condoned but, in most places, lovingly cultivated.

The point is that I love (this part of) Mexico. While I can’t speak on the state of the entire country, I’ve never witnessed crime of any kind in my visits there, and I’ve also never stayed in one of those fancy-schmancy resorts that feed you sushi and keep you cloistered in with all the other skittish Ameri-Euros – that type of experience just doesn’t seem appealing to me.

The above-mentioned sushi resorts never give you the real local experience, because they’re not meant to. They’re meant to take advantage of the local attraction (in this case, the beach) and turn that into something which closely resembles your comfort zone, i.e. home. They feed you spaghetti and meatballs when the guys in the boats outside are pulling live lobster from the water, and you’re expected to change out of your flip-flops and shorts before they’ll even serve you said meatballs. Phooey! I want to eat local food, interact with actual Mexican people…actually BE in Mexico, for hells sake.

I’ve bisected the Yucatan in my travel there in the past, having seen both the north and southeast shores and toured the interior. I’ve done the big beach town, Cancun, and the island of Cozumel, and both were a bit boisterous but fun, and, although I wasn’t on any private beach, they were still super-touristy; this time, I’m going for something a bit more quiet and secluded. 

If you look hard enough (and believe me, I have looked and looked and looked and…) there are lots of little towns up and down the Mexican Caribbean, none of which require visitors to wear a plastic wristband or participate in ridiculous nightly pool games. One of these is my intended destination this year. There will be much sunblock and many brightly-colored frozen drinks (and don’t forget those Cubans), and probably a few too many renditions of Brown Eyed Girl, but I can’t wait.

Oh, and don’t worry about me. Not only will I be accompanied by my own personal ninja, but I’m pretty damn dangerous my ownself.

 

Daydreaming of paraíso,

Dana