Readers,
I’m sure you’ll all feel very sorry for the Very Bad Boy after reading his woeful account of his tribulations at sea, via the Wonderful Wife and me. Personally, I think he needs a thorough thrashing.
– Dana
“The Sea Tale of the Terrible Ordeal of TheVBB”
There are many tales of the sea, some dark some light hearted, some fearful and some fanciful. Some tales turns a young man’s fancy towards the sea while others cause the most harden seaman to flee the sea as fast as he can. This is just one tale of the sea but one that will cause the strongest amongst us to go weak in the knees. A tale that will make the bravest turn and shriek in utter fear while searching for a place to hide in the darkness. This tale will make the darkest and most fearful nightmare seem like a child’s fairy tale, beware all ye who read these words and hope and pray that ye never find yourself in such a tale. Because if ye do you will never be the same, you will be scarred for the remainder of yer pitiful life. A life that was once filled with hope, aspirations and potential will now be filled with brokenness, dashed dreams and utter helplessness. Beware what ye read, turn back now while ye still have the chance. You have been warned Matey, don’t say ye haven’t.
This tale takes place in the midst of the Gulf of Mexico where Montezuma seeks his revenge and the mighty Krakens have made their way from the seas of Norway and Greenland to give birth to their young in the warm gulf waters. The tale is one of horror and desperation, of muffled screams and the evil laughter of those who bring the crushing weight of the lash across the back of the most innocent and disadvantage among us. It is a tale that makes the blood run cold and the life spirit of a person freeze in absolute horror. Fear this tale my friends and hope ye never find yourself in cabin 7425 on a balmy autumn morning when two ladies who have spent the week holding back their playful urges finally let them loose. The world has never seen the furry of two Tops who were itching so badly to let loose their skills upon a most hapless and defenseless male. This is the horrific story of TheVBB and his near death experience at the hands of the Wonderful Wife and Ms. Dana Kane Professional Disciplinarian. If only TheVBB had experienced the terror of being dragged into the depths of Davy Jones locker to be subjected to decades of forced labor in the depth of death and despair. He truly would have fared much better than the few hours he faced in cabin 7425 in the midst of the unforgiving Gulf.
The warm Gulf waters were calm that morning; the sun was peaking behind the low laying clouds and peaking through the curtains of cabin 7425. It promised to be a lovely day, a day filled with fun and promise but soon that promised was dashed and the first inkling of disaster came upon TheVBB. It seemed innocent enough; a folded yellow page from a small notebook was slipped under the cabin door sometime while he was asleep. As he made his way towards the folded note on the floor he saw his name on the sheet and incomprehensively read the words Western Caribbean Vacation Receipt. TheVBB had previously gone on a number of cruises and this was the first time he had received such a receipt in his cabin. As he made his way back to the bed he opened the folded paper to discover two yellow pages with writing on it. Again TheVBB was still unsure what he was reading but he knew whatever it was could not bode well for him. As a strange Easterly wind began to blow the ship gradually begin to respond to the building storm that was about to take place. In short the receipt was for perceived wrongs TheVBB apparently committed during the week. As TheVBB finally made sense of the folded paper he noticed the bright daylight was beginning to turn dark and the calm seas were becoming a bit more disturbed. What was this all about? TheVBB wondered why there was a receipt signifying he was to receive 225 swats for these so-called indiscretions. He felt a cold numbing sensation flow over his body and a slight twinge of terror run down his spine. If only he had known what was about to take place that morning, he would have rushed out of the cabin seeking the protection and sanctuary of the captain of the vessel. Yet his hesitance to do so sealed his fate and doomed him to a nightmare that will haunt him for all eternity.
Within thirty minutes of reading the note a small and barely noticeable knock came at the door of cabin 4725. The air seemed to instantly freeze and time came to a stop for just a moment. TheVBB walked slowly to the cabin door as though an unforeseen force, a force that would lead him down a journey that would only end in despair, was drawing him. As he opened the door the cheerful and smiling face of Ms. Dana Kane Professional Disciplinarian greeted him. As he welcomed her in, he was unknowingly drawn to the two yellow notebook pages, which were sitting near the TV. As though someone had reached out and taken his hand TheVBB unwilling picked up the two sheets and sat on the bed. Before he knew what was happening his mouth was opened and out come words that he would later regret. TheVBB was unwittingly speaking words that were not his own, making bratty comments that would only come from the most ill mannered among the bratty. As TheVBB sat there listening with disbelief the words that were coming from his mouth he felt the darkness close around him and the sense of evil aboding taking over his soul. The Wonderful Wife just stood there; listening to TheVBB. She made no effort to stop him. He later found out she was actually on the side of Ms. Dana Kane. Within a few minutes of this unfortunate conversation, Ms. Kane asked for the receipt and she added an additional 50 swats to the tally for a total of 275. Which TheVBB in defiance said “lets just make it 300”. At that point the seas commenced to roll, the howling of the dreadful Krakens sounded over the waves of the gulf and the fate of TheVBB was sealed forever. He heard the dreaded words, which will be, repeated throughout his lifetime in the twilight of his sleep the words “that’s 300 for me and 300 for the Wonderful Wife.” The sea swelled and the waves crashed upon the ship while the sun reversed its upward course and once again receded into the horizon.
There was a slight break while the ladies feasted upon the early offerings of what passed as the morning meal. While TheVBB sat nearby humbly nibbling at the meager portions that was allowed to fall his way, unknowingly his life was about to take a turn into the deepest and darkest experience of his short life. The waves crashed harder upon the ship and the mighty Krakens grew restless and eagerly awaited the fate of TheVBB. After the two ladies filled themselves with the morning meal they led TheVBB down the long lonely hallway, which lead to cabin 7425. TheVBB followed behind dragging his feet desperately seeking some safe haven to hide, no matter how much he wanted to run away he was bound by what felt like a powerful spell that dragged him deeper and deeper into what would soon became a nightmarish hell. He walked the hallway as a condemned man walks towards the gallows, wishing with all his might he could escape but being forced by fate to keep taking one more step towards his inevitable doom. What seemed like an eternity TheVBB finally arrived at Cabin 7425 there was a strange deep orange glow emanating from under the door, as he placed his hand upon the door latch he felt uncomfortable warmth radiating from the door. This was it, it was the last and final warning of what awaited him, yet TheVBB opened the door and walked solemnly into the cabin and the dread that would soon greet him there. As on cue, TheVBB was given a short reprieve as Ms. Kane announced she would be back in 30 minutes or so. As the door closed behind her, TheVBB made his way to the bed and crawled beneath the covers hoping this coming nightmare was just that, an unpretentious nightmare. Despite all his effort, he was unable to wake himself from this dream; he tried over and over again to wake himself. But to no avail, this nightmare was real and it was happening before his very eyes. Soon there came a knock at the door. The wind blew harder, the ship rock side to side in the growing waves. Darkness overtook the room as TheVBB hid under the covers mournfully wishing this matter would simply go away. But it only became more real when he heard the wife bellow, “Get out of bed she is here!” He delved into the covers hoping somehow he would find some sort of sanctuary from the coming storm. But instead of finding solace he only heard the voice of Ms. Kane saying, “get out of bed” he tried his best to ignore the command but a quick and painful lash of her European Martinet fell upon him.
The room rapidly became dark and the two ladies turned serious, they told him to disrobe and prepare for his fate. They utter aloud we are going to take you beyond your limits today. Ms. Kane informed TheVBB he was to receive six hundred swats 300 from her and 300 from the Wonderful Wife. But first she would have to prepare his bottom for the oncoming onslaught. TheVBB was unsure what that meant, as Ms. Kane walked over to her bag of wares, she told him to roll over. She returned and sat next to him on the bed. He was nervous and tense because he did not know what it was she had retrieved from her bag. As she reached out and lightly rubbed his bum, he felt cool lotion being applied to his bum. TheVBB sighed a sigh of relief and relaxed for he always enjoyed when she rubbed lotion on his bum. A few seconds latter Ms. Kane said, “I wish I had some plastic gloves” that caught TheVBB’s attention and for a moment he was taken back. He felt a bit hurt, why would see want to wear gloves? She never did that before and he had just taken a shower, so why? Ms. Kane then declared “I could use a washcloth” as she walked towards the restroom the slightest warmth began to build in his bottom. The warmth quickly increased in intensity, then it hit him she had not applied lotion to his bottom but Capzation cream. His heart began to race as he realized how much she had applied, by the time she returned a nice burning sensation had already taken hold. TheVBB yelled out “you can’t use that on me!” He panicked; he attempted to move away from her. But it was already too late, the cream was spread and the fiery result was already taking full effect. His bum was fully on fire, the more he moved the hotter his bottom became. He rolled in agony and made the fatal mistake of rolling over on his back. As soon as his bottom made contact with the towel the heat intensified a hundred fold, the pain was so unbearable he immediately rolled back over. Within just a few minutes TheVBB was murmuring and crying out loud, all he could think of was the pain he was in and how long it would take for the fire to stop. As he accepted his fate the seas grew more restless and the wave grew higher. The darkness overcame him and the ordeal of a lifetime enclosed around him.
Not a single blow had landed yet and TheVBB was already thinking of a way to make this end, but the cream had done its dastardly deed and there was no turning back for once Capzation takes its hold it will fight to the bitter end to never release its grip. Ms. Kane glanced at the Wonderful Wife and said with a grin “why don’t you start first” What implement was used to commence this evil punishment will be forever absent from the memory of TheVBB. For his focus was on how bad the pain would be once that first blow landed. Time stood still for a moment as she prepared to land the first blow. The air grew astonishingly hot as though the very gates of Hades itself had opened and swallowed up the room. The deafness of the roar of the fires blocked out any noise as he waited with horrifying anticipation of what would come from that first blow. The blow landed with a sounding and fearsome whack, the pain shot through his bottom as an eternal struggled developed between the Capzation and the sting from the implement. The battle ensued to see who would be master of the pain, the stinging from the implement or the burning from the Capzation. TheVBB’s eyes rolled up in his head, the pain was excruciating and just as the first blow landed a second and third and forth landed all in a row. The battle between the burning and the stinging grew to a rampant pace, all he could do was roll in pain crying out for mercy but never finding a hint of relief. He rolled over to far and unable to stop rolled up on Ms. Kane who immediately impaled TheVBB’s back with her sharp nails, the sharpened pained cause him to stop and roll back the other way.
There has been many a battle fought on the seas, some damming and deadly but none so fiercely fought that day. All the powers of the sea came together that day to join forces with the best of the Tops. The pain was so intense that by the time six hundred blows had landed TheVBB had reached his tolerance. Many a blow has landed on TheVBB before, yet without much result as he often smirked “I could have taken more.” But on this day the battle was lost, TheVBB had met his match. The skills of the Wonderful Wife and the expertise of Ms. Kane along with their allies Capzation, Delrin and canes had met together on a historic battlefield. They had brought their worst, which was way too much for TheVBB to handle. The battle was finished, six hundred blows landed hard. The burning had won its match against the sting and was celebrating by maintaining its burn at the utmost level yet. He lay there defeated, exhausted and warn. He wondered how he had made it through such an ordeal. But he had, and now he wished for a way to make the burning stop if there was such a way. As he lay there in defeat the worse was yet to come, for there awaiting him was the scourge of Dana… her European Martinet. From the depths of the seas the mighty Krakens joined in, raising their evil cries to laugh at the fate TheVBB was still to face.
No story of the sea is complete without the telling of a lashing, a lashing so severe that it makes the hardest of men shriek in fear and yearn for the safety of their mother’s breast. Simply the number of lashes that are felt does not always deem the intensity of a scourging but under the circumstances they are dealt. TheVBB was already defeated at the hands of Ms. Kane and the Wonderful Wife. There were no smartass remarks coming from his mouth, no bratty attitude or slight smile of defiance, only a silenced, humbled and well submissive bottom that was put in his place. Now all the evil forces had gathered together in that place that once was cabin 7425. It now was the very center of the entire underworld the dwelling of all that spankos fear the most. Ms. Kane approached TheVBB with a riddle from the darkest netherworld “Listen here ye beaten one, for I shall tell you a riddle that will truly warn yur soul. Consider wisely the fate ye journey on. For ye chose this day any number ye wish, any number ye fancy. But remember this, the number will double on yur back as each one of us engage the whip. We then return to the single number ye wished, as we switch from the back to yur front and make our presence known to ye. When this is done and the beating grows short, then once again we double ye number on the bare of yur feet. Choose wisely young man as time is running out. As ye make your choice just remember this, that what ye say is what ye get. Ha!
The sea grew calm as the dark clouds parted and a small sliver of sunlight flooded into cabin 7425. For a short moment there seemed to be some hope, some chance of escape. But it lasted only a moment and it disappeared as quickly as it came. Before TheVBB knew it, it had grown even darker. The sea grew more restless and the ship was tossed in a violent manner as the Krakens rose to the surface to gain a better view. Ms. Kane walked over with her nefarious martinet, as she slowly swing it back and forth; she anxiously waited for his answer. One could clearly see the wonder lust that filled her eyes; she wanted nothing more than to apply her malicious skills with her precious martinet. TheVBB found himself in a sinister deep-seated trance, as he looked deep into her eyes. He want to shout for relief, he struggled to roll off the bed and seek to crawl to the door where he thought there must be waiting for him some sense of wellbeing. But he could not move, he was trapped in a paralyzing fear, which only drew him deeper and deeper into her gaze. He knew what waited him was nothing but more untold horror. Yet there was no way out and he was stuck in-between life and death until he submitted to the demands of Ms. Kane and the Wonderful Wife. He resisted with all his might, he faced a dilemma that no man should ever have to face. Does he call out a small number and face the ridicule of being a wimp. Or does he call out a much higher number in hope of some how appeasing the lustful desires of these two infamous ladies. He was unsure what made him do it, for he called out what he thought was a simple number. Four can’t be bad, for it is easy to handle he thought for was TheVBB after all. The four was then doubled to eight and then doubled to sixteen as each lady was given her chance of brandishing the lash. TheVBB was confident in his choice. Eight from each of them, it was a respectable number; after all he had just received 600 swats and survived. What was another sixteen lashes? Ms. Kane gave the martinet over to the Wonderful Wife and gave her the first shot at TheVBB’s back. As she lifted her arm and brought the lash down with what seemed like little effort. The lashes landed with a sudden thud and at first the stinging pain was felt only on the surface. For a short moment he thought this is not bad I can take more than this. Then the deeper more intense white-hot burn took over. The pain came from deep within his body and made an unbearable burning appearance on his back that burst into a million tiny strands of unyielding pain. He rolled over onto his side trying in vain to wish the pain away. Yet the pain built in intensity and seemed to linger on with no chance of receding. Finally what seemed like an eternity the pain was reduced to just a smoldering heat. TheVBB prepared for the next lash that awaited him. Time moved slowly as the Wonderful Wife took her time allowing each and every lash to fully travel its hateful road of mild pain, to unbearable pain and back to a smoldering pain. By this time the burning of the Capzation cream was forgotten about what once seemed like an unyielding burn was now ignored with the outlandish pain that the martinet had brought.
Finally the Wonderful Wife handed the martinet to Ms. Dana Kane Professional Disciplinarian. As her eyes grew wild with anticipation she ordered TheVBB back on his stomach so she had a clear shot at his back. Ms. Kane’s approach to the martinet was different. Instead of allowing each lash to take it full journey of pain before proceeding to the next. She layered the lashes on one after another. One would think this would be the fastest and easiest way to take the lashes, but in reality it only caused the pain to go from unbearable to horrendous intolerable pain, which seemed to never end. As each lash landed across his back the journey of pain began it course, but was not allowed to finish as the next one landed. By the time all eight lashes were done, the journey of pain was so intense with so many stages that there seemed to be nothing but piercing and excruciating pain. TheVBB had finally met his match, he was beaten into complete submission, what seemed like an unlikely and unimaginable moment finally came. TheVBB was ultimately brought to his knees and forced to admit he was broken and defeated. He had without a doubt found a new respect for both the Wonderful Wife and Ms. Dana Kane Professional Disciplinarian. TheVBB felt a stirring deep within his soul and before he knew what was happening a part of his bratty attitude departed his soul. The journey finally came to an end after two more lashes landed on his chest and another two landed on the bottom of his feet.
While this tale touches on only a meager of details the dreadfulness of this yarn is too great to continue. For the world cannot bare the telling of what happened that day, it is a horror is too great. The fear it would bring to light to those who read this tale would paralyze the reader with unremitting trepidation, which one has never faced before. Let it be known to all ye who read this story that in the mist of the Gulf of Mexico there did one day raise a battle so appalling that it can only dwell in the memories of those who participated. Hope with all ye soul that ye never find yurself in cabin 7425 in the middle of the sea when the Krakens give birth to their young. As two Tops wonder the hallway looking for an unsuspecting and vulnerable bottom to fulfill their lusts of beatings and lashings. Dread with all ye soul the dreaded tools of the trade, Capzation, Delrin and canes, for ye may not be as fortunate as TheVBB was. Even if ye do make it through the ordeal ye will never be the same again.
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