Ms. Dana Kane – Professional Disciplinarian
"Hold still long enough and I'll spank you, too."
CFNM Punishment Fantasy : Spanked, Paddled, Whipped, Strapped, and Caned
POV : Paddled at School, Spanked at Home
While it’s exciting when we first discover spanking, either in our own private little minds as adolescents, or as questioning young adults with the world now at our fingertips – or maybe even a middle-agers who’ve decided to try a new approach to life in general, the whole shebang can be a little overwhelming.
Sometimes that’s a great thing, and sometimes not.
Not because spanking isn’t great, or because having interest in this type of play is wrong or weird (we’ve already established our normalcy, I think, as far as the term can be defined), but because it’s hard to tap the brakes when you Discover Spanking.
Most of the newbies who contact me are reaching out, tentatively, for the first time – to acknowledge their difference, ask questions, confirm they’re no wacko, or to ask ‘where did this come from?’ Usually, after a bit of discussion and information exchange, they’re ready to make the big leap and hop over someone’s lap ASAP. Totally understandable, given the amount of excitement and anticipation the human mind is capable of conjuring. They want to do it, now or sooner, and want to try it all at once – like one of those never-ending buffets you see at the casinos here in Sin City.
The problem with that? Well, when has overindulgence served us well? If you really tried to eat your way through that endless buffet all at one sitting, you’d darn well deserve the heart attack you’d surely experience while dragging your bloated self out of that booth.
As with everything else in life, your spanking experience should happen naturally, in moderation, and with considered aforethought.
Think of it this way: If you’ve just discovered your interest in spanking, your next move was probably to open a whole bunch of tabs on the interweb, searching things like “spanking”, “adult discipline”, “accountability”, or even (affectionately) “spanking porn”.
You’re immediately inundated with hundreds of thousands (if not millions) of options – websites, blogs, infographics, news stories, opinions both pro and con. It’s a helluva lot to take in, and not everything you read will be accurate and/or reassuring. So you keep looking. You find what looks like what you’re interested in, and you decide to ‘go for it’. Great!
But don’t just grab the first person you see and ask ’em for a spanking, and certainly don’t hop onto social networks and broadcast your interest/need/desire to spank or be spanked to the world right away. Look around, take your time, see how people in the community behave, interact, and (hopefully) respect one another. Choose correspondents and playmates carefully, and don’t try to get yourself spanked three days after you meet someone. Take it slow. You have PLENTY of time for great spanking experiences, but should have none whatsoever for bad ones.
The more homework you do in advance, and the more you educate and ‘enlighten’ yourself about spanking and domestic discipline, the more savvy you’ll be when it comes time to get your spank on.
Even then, don’t try to get all your spanking fantasies out at once. Again, as in life, if we do it all at once, what’s the use of continuing? Try a little hand spanking, maybe a couple implements…see how you feel in the situation first, before you go and construct a bunch of elaborate fantasy roleplays involving judicial punishments and spencer paddles making you cry real tears. It doesn’t happen that way for most of us, and it won’t likely for you either…not if you’re doing it right. (Here is where I insert the disclaimer that the above is entirely my opinion which I willingly inflict on the general public via this blog. You’re welcome to ignore it completely and knock yourself out (possibly literally) in your haste…but don’t come crying to me when it all goes apples up. I’ll just spank you for not listening.)
Read the title again; don’t rush it. It’ll happen, and when it does – wow! – will it be worth the wait.
– Dana
POV : The Girls are Coming for You
Whitney’s Orgasm Earns Her a Gagged Strapping
Readers,
Since I’ve decided to give away a prize to every single qualified entrant, there is no reason whatsoever not to enter your spanking story in this month’s contest.
Last entries will be accepted March 15, then I’ll begin posting the stories for voting.
– Dana
As if you don’t all know entirely too much about me already:
1. Who would you want to be tied to for 24 hours?
Randomly, I’m going to say Penn and Teller. They seem like nice, funny guys.
2. Who do you blame for your mood today?
If I blame anyone but myself for my mood on any given day, I am shirking responsibility.
3. Have you ever seen a dead body?
Yes. I don’t recommend it.
4. What should we do w/ stupid people??
If they’re just ignorant, then we educate them. Once they’re no longer ignorant, if they still choose to be stupid, then we just ignore them and hope they go away, I guess.
5. How long do you think you will live?
By my estimation, I will live to be 142 years old. That’s because, no matter how old I am, I always plan on living another hundred years. Ask me again next year for the updated estimate.
6. What was the first thing you did this morning?
I do the same ‘first thing’ every morning: wrestle my fat little dog out of my bed for his morning walk. Neither of us is ever overly enthused.
7. The color of carpet in your bedroom?
It’s beige, and I hate it. I hate all carpet, of all colors, because I own cats.
9. Last person you went out to dinner with?
I honestly cannot remember the last time I went ‘out’ for dinner. Lunch, all the time; dinner, not so much.
10. Are you spoiled?
Sure. But not in that “gotta have a Birkin bag” kind of way.
11.Do you drink lots of water?
Yes. There is exactly one gallon of water in each pitcher of iced tea I consume.
12. What toothpaste do you use?
The one in the tube.
13. How do you vent your anger?
Heh…
14. The last compliment you received?
My cat gave me the universal kitty ‘thumbs up’ this morning – a headbutt.
15. What are you doing this weekend?
I will spend this weekend the same way I spend every weekend – thinking about, writing about, filming, and giving spankings!
16 When was the last time you threw up?
I refuse to answer this question on the grounds that it is gross.
17. Is your best friend a virgin?
Pffft!
18. What theme does your room have?
Theme? Who has a theme anymore?
19. When was the last time you were at a party?
Boardwalk Badness 2013.
20. Are you a mama’s child or a daddy’s child?
Neither.
21. Would you ever join the military?
Nope. I don’t do well with authority. ~~
22. The last website you visited?
I’m here now..
23. Who was the last person you took a picture with?
Do the photos the dental technician took last week count?..
25. Last person you went to the movies with?
I saw the new Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie with one of my ‘little’ boys last fall. It was very loud.
26. What did you do/will you do for your birthday this year?
I have no idea whatsoever.
27. Number of layers on your bed?
Do cats count?
28. Is anything alive in your room?
See above (plus one fat dog).
29. Today, would you rather go back a week or go forward a week?
Never, ever go back. You’ve been there already. Onward!
30. What are you looking forward to right now?
Everything.
This is it.
Ms. Kane’s temper is running short, so any instances of:
– unnecessary smart-ass-ed-ness
– jealous/obsessive behavior
– offering to SPANK me
– or otherwise annoying the bejeezus out of me
will result in:
– expulsion.
Class dismissed.
Hello all,
While you’ve all been going about your ever-so-uncomplicated lives (insert sarcasm here), I’ve been recovering from what started as a simple dental procedure and ended up being quite an odyssey (who ever knew me to complicate things, huh?), all while preparing for several weeks of all-out spanking madness in order to catch up on all the time I’ve missed.
Happy to report that all HUMAN systems are running optimally and I’ll be back shooting, posting, and generally talking too damn much in just a couple days.
Except, as you know, things are never that simple…
Last night there was a *pop* power outage, a teeny one that didn’t even reset the digital clocks; but it DID knock out my interweb and a whole bunch of other technical crap about which I shall not trouble you, mainly because I don’t understand any of it either. The gist is, I have limited online access until the magical guys come tomorrow evening and wave their I.T. wands over my desk three times or something. I’ll keep up with email when I’m able, but have long since given up on doing any real communicating on my smart phone as the screen is just too damn small. (Ohgod, I just realized – I’m MIDDLE AGED!!)
So this post is really not about much at all, other than the fact that I’ve received several emails to the effect of, “What the hell? Where are the blog posts?”. Okay, nobody said, ‘What the hell’ because they know I’d smack them, but you get the idea…
I’m here. The dentist did not kill me, nor I her, and we will be back to regularly-scheduled programming soon as the interweb decides to play nice with my light-up boxes.
– Dana
Guys and Gals,
I’d like to draw your attention to the star system on my member site – it’s that little set of five white stars, one of which you’re supposed to click on to ‘rate’ the scene you’ve just watched. It’s been there since the site’s inception and is rarely utilized.
So how in all heck do you expect me to know what you like/want more of or love/want lots more of (see what I did there)?
A little audience participation, boys and girls, if you please – it’s called Feedback and it’ll make the site better for all of you.
– Dana
P.S. Further failure to participate will result in me coming to your house and stealing all your forks.
They say that it’s the little things that count.
And that can be true with spanking, too.
I don’t have to heft a huge frat paddle.
All I need is a little wooden spoon.
I don’t have to swing my arm back as far as it will go.
Just aim for the sit spot – that’ll keep your attention.
No need to tie you down, either.
You’re going to hold still because I said so.
I don’t need to hit you a thousand times.
But I will make you think twice about coming here.
There’s no reason to make you bleed.
I’d rather make you whimper.
..I’m tweeting my little heart out over here.
Okay, not really, but so far, so good.
I’d LOVE to see all my readers, friends, and playmates there, too, but you can’t have an egghead profile to get past my ninja-egg-blocker.
(It doesn’t have to be a picture of your face, silly. Just put something cute/funny/spanky up there and take a minute to actually fill in your profile info so you don’t look like a *spammerbot*.)
I’m not saying you have to do it, I’m just saying you’ll miss stuff if you don’t.
Updated 12/21 : Due to overwhelming naughtiness, no more confessions will be accepted. We’ll revisit this game soon!
Readers,
I thought it would be fun to give you all the chance to ‘tattle on yourselves’ – tell me (and everyone else reading) what you’ve done to earn a spanking.
Maybe there’s something from thirty years ago that you still feel guilty about, or maybe it’s something you just did last night, but everyone’s done something that deserves being taken over the knee for a sound disciplinary spanking. I’d love to know what YOU have done…
…so let’s make it even more fun. Leave your ‘confession’ anonymously in the comments section, so that even I won’t know who you are, and you’ll be free to really tell the truth. Maybe it’ll even make you feel better to tattle on yourself a bit.
Then I’ll reply with your ‘sentence’ – what I consider the appropriate disciplinary action based on your confession. For example, if you stole a piece of bubble gum fifteen years ago, you’d likely be sentenced to a stern talking-to about the evils of stealing and a short but sharp OTK hand spanking. If, on the other hand, you committed grand theft auto yesterday, your sentence would likely be 100 judicial cane strokes while fully bound.
Sounds fun, right? (Considering that you don’t have to endure an ACTUAL punishment, you can even act all tough and pretend that your sentence is ‘no big deal’, as I *know* some of you will.)
Alright, boys and girls, this one time…it’s Okay to Tattle, on yourself….
– Dana
* Before you get started, keep in mind that I will not publish any comment containing filthy language. Seriously. Stop it.
** Also, don’t email me privately to make your confession. If you can’t tattle on yourself publicly (albeit anonymously), then you don’t get to play.
*** Finally, please remember that this is a GAME – it’s not real life. My comments are meant to be taken with a grain of salt. Don’t go getting your ass on your shoulders.
Everyone (and I do mean everyone),
After a long conversation yesterday with one of my new friends, I couldn’t help going back to our exchange in my mind, all last evening. Without going into any specific detail, my new playmate is a sweet, gentle, beautiful, respectful, delightful person. She’s smart, well-educated, and has achieved much already in her first three decades. Like nearly every single person I’ve had the wonderful pleasure of meeting via this thing we call spanking, she’s a Good Apple. But there’s a problem:
She doesn’t love herself enough.
That’s not her fault; it’s the fault in the tools she’s been given to construct her self-image. And it’s not a singular issue, is it? How many of us has something(s) about ourselves which we simply cannot forgive? Are we too tall, too short, too skinny, too fat, too redheaded, too blonde, too freckly, too fair? Do we have scars, stretch marks, thinning hair, big feet, small hands, wrinkles? Do we feel inadequate – as partners, parents, friends…people? Are we underpaid, underappreciated – unloved?
Hell yes.
Every single one of us feels this from time to time. That’s called being human. But some of us feel it all the time – a prevailing sense of ‘not-good-enough-ness’ that no number of sunny days can relieve. We find ways to numb ourselves to our own thoughts, thereby cutting ourselves off from everyone else in the process. Isolating. Finding ways to keep ourselves in that dark place because it’s the only place we feel comfortable.
That’s not our fault, either. Unless we don’t work, every day, to change our minds. Change our circumstances. Most importantly, change the way we look at ourselves.
Many times, I’ve asked my friends to stand in front of a mirror – looking into the reflection of their own eyes – and repeat things like, “I love myself.” You cannot imagine (or maybe you can) just how difficult these exercises can be. To look at oneself, not subjectively, but with unconditional love, is one of the hardest things most of us will ever accomplish. Usually, because we’ve not experienced enough of it – love without conditions, that is.
We’ll all talk much more about love, limits, self-care, and spanking for years to come, but today, there’s just one thing that I think ALL of you should know:
– Dana
Fellow spankos,
I regularly ask my new playmates, especially those who’ve not experienced much (or any) spanking play before, “What’s been swirling around in your mind? What do you think about when you think about your ‘ideal’ spanking?”
This is a great question for all of us, I think. What, if given the choice to have it happen ANY way you want, would be your ideal spanking scenario? Doesn’t matter whether you’re a top, a bottom, or a switch, or whether the spanking that you consider the best would be given or taken, either. We all have a main fantasy I think – the one that plays most often in our heads – and I’m interested in yours.
Tell me about your ‘ideal’ spanking in the comments area, so that others can join in the Conversation.
– Dana
Readers,
This isn’t really so much spanking-related as privacy-related, but since most of you would like to keep your spanking lives private, this may be advice you could use. I’m going to keep this simple for those of you with short attention spans:
Never send or receive ‘kinky’ email from/to your work-associated email address.
Why?
One word : LinkedIn.
Did any of you know that the above site is kind enough to send out a ‘join me on linkedin’ email to everyone on your email contacts list?
And did you know that I’ve received HUNDREDS of ‘join me on linkedin’ email invites over the past few years? From people from all different walks of life and a myriad of assorted professions, from CEO’s to carpenters to choir directors. All I’d have to do is click ‘accept’ and there you’d be, with your professional-looking linkedin profile, and little ol’ me showing up as your newest ‘contact’. Dana Kane – Professional Disciplinarian.
How many of you would really like me on your public list of business associates? Hmm……? Or how about any of the other folks you may or may not have emailed at 2am while perusing adult videos and maybe emailing someone you shouldn’t have? (I’m just saying…)
As much as I’d love to yell it from the rooftops that you’re all my closest and bestest spanko friends, I think it’s about time some of you pay a bit more attention to what goes where and to whom in the digital age. That is, if you care at all about keeping your secrets to yourself.
With love and concern for your common sense,
– Dana
Yes, you read right. I’ve been reading Pandora Blake’s blog, Spanked Not Silenced, and am shocked and dismayed to read the following, excerpted:
“Today in the UK, the law changed regarding the sort of content that can be sold online as “video on demand”, to bring online regulations in line with the existing guidelines for the BBFC (British Board of Film Classification). Video on Demand (VoD) services are regulated by the Authority for Television on Demand (ATVOD), which restricts the types of sexual content that UK VoD distributors can provide. In other words, online porn sales are now subject to the same restrictions as DVD sales, and it is no longer legal to sell online anything which could not be classified by the BBFC as R-18.”
What does all that malarkey mean?…..
According to Pandora’s post, it means:
“Under the new legislation, UK distributors are no longer allowed to sell content depicting bondage and gags, fisting, public sex, age play, facesitting, urination, female ejaculation, and spanking and caning beyond that deemed “transient and trifling”.” (Wait, FEMALE ejaculation is illegal but male ejaculation is totally okay? That’s some seriously repressed thinking, said the caveman.)
Are you paying attention? Basically, what’s being said here, in LEGISLATION in the UK, is that sites like Pandora’s DreamsofSpanking.com and others like it are now breaking the law. Every minute they’re online. Not because of sex for the sake of sex, or because of any of the parochial things you’d assume, but because of this strangely arbitrary list. The really screwed up part is that you, the consumer, may still happily watch content made in other countries, like the U.S., but that your lovely neighbor Pandora and others in the UK will be targeted as criminals. In the meantime, and in usual politico fashion, they’ve made it terribly easy for producers to circumvent this law by simply moving their servers to a proxy country. What a waste of official seals.
Please take a few moments to read Pandora’s full post HERE – and write, tweet, vote your opinions. Are the people of the UK going to allow their government to censor their creative and sexual rights this way? I sure as hell hope not.
* This is no joke kiddos. The UK isn’t outlawing violent video games where you can rape a hooker or shoot an innocent pedestrian, they’re not making it illegal to film a gangbang bukkake scene where the girl is obviously distressed, but it’s now illegal to spank someone hard, film it, and sell it, in the UK. This is disturbing on SO many levels. Mainly because we here in the U.S. always view the UK as somehow ahead of us in the arena of sexual freedoms….I guess we were wrong. Gratitude to Pandora for bringing this issue to our attention, and all my love and support to the men and women who’ll be fighting this ridiculous legislation tooth and nail.
– Dana
UPDATED 11/25:
Still working on this problem everyone. I may have to switch the feed to a more reliable service. Stay tuned.
PS. The blog will be it’s usual hive of activity again soon.
________________________
Readers,
If you’re a Feedburner/RSS subscriber and haven’t been receiving your email updates, please take a moment to let me know, here in the comment section. A few folks have emailed to say that they’ve not received their email updates and I’m working hard to figure out why. Your feedback will make things easier. Also, if you’ve been experiencing feed outage and find that you’re now receiving updates, let me know that, too, otherwise I won’t know when I’ve gotten the damn thing fixed.
Thanks,
Dana
Readers,
As with most things, if I see the word ‘spanking’ I’m likely to pay a bit more attention. Here again is a case of semi-relation to our peccadillo, as one of our common English phrases contains the word which makes us all tingle:
I found this recent article, posted on Grammarist.com, about the origins of the phrase (below copied directly from linked article):
The phrase brand spanking new means to be entirely new or recently created, and was first recorded in 1860. It evolved from the compound word brand-new and the phrase spick-and-span. Also, spanking, while the main definition is to hit someone on the butt, can also mean to move quickly. So one might say that a brand spanking new object was created quickly or appeared very fast. In truth, no one knows quite how it was coined or what it originally referred to.
This idiom is not officially recognized in most dictionaries, and as such does not have an official spelling. Most instances are hyphenated, since the phrase is used as a compound adjective. Though since hyphens in general are on the decline, an argument could be made for not using them. There are some publications which prefer hyphenating brand-spanking and not new, so that it is new that is being modified.
In the end, it is personal preference since this idiom is informal.
Example:
What better way to do it than whilst wearing a brand spanking new pair of kickers.
Although the example says ‘brand spanking new pair of kickers’, my spanko brain immediately turned the last word into ‘knickers’….works better my way, don’t you think?..
– Dana
Everyone,
‘The Chief’ over at Spanking Blogg is holding a fun nomination/voting for annual spanking awards. Seems that this is something another blogger has done in the past, but since they’ve apparently given it up, The Chief is going to be hosting the vote this year.
He’s asked that folks share the link so that he can get as many participants as possible, so click HERE to read the original post, and leave your picks in the comments section of his blog. I’m not sure how much longer you’ll be able to nominate your favorites, so get over there in a hurry if you want to participate. Otherwise, I believe that the actual voting comes after that, and there’ll be a reasonable period of time to vote. The Chief says you can also email him your nominations if you don’t want to post your preferences publicly.
I’m going to add my votes now.~
Since we know how much all spankos love school scenes, let’s handle this like an old-fashioned lesson. Fun, right?
(crickets)
Have a seat there at your desk, eyes forward, and try not to disturb your neighbors. Today, boys and girls, we’re going to talk about ‘Accountability’.
Accountability is a big word that means doing what you’re supposed to do. You can be accountable for all sorts of things, and even accountable to people or situations – it’s also a very important aspect of our social structure. Let’s start with the basics:
What is Accountability ?