Readers,
One of my eagle-eyed, news-reading playmates sent me a link to this article, posted on Salon.com 9/9/2013. For most of us, it will read like a roadmap to ‘becoming a spanko’, but to those not familiar with the fetish, it’s a fresh and un-scary introduction into the inner workings of the Modern Spanko.
The author, Jason Webb (a penname), based in Austin, TX, takes his readers through the twists and turns of first interest to full-blown lifestyle – and takes vanillas on an informational, rational trip down fetish lane.
Read the full article below, and feel free to come back here to comment, if you’d like.
Dana
This pinpointed what MOST attracts me to spanking. Beside the enjoyment of the physical pain I get, it’s much more of a psychological thrill for me rather than sexual. YES. I can enjoy sexually tinged spankings in a playful context. But when I received the dozens of spanking threats, suggestions of growing up, just the thought itself sent a thrill right through me when I felt the person really DID mean it-even when they never followed through.
But there is NO way I want to put myself through potential romantic partner scrutiny at THIS stage of my life. I think I will always prefer to keep spanking and sex partners completely independent of each other. considering that spankings have been part of mainstream culture to SOME extent for year in Tv shows, movies, music videaos, etc to have a lover even SUGGEST that spanking is “weird” or that I’M “weird” for liking it would irreparably piss me off and would end that “relationship” or a potential one right then and there.
But MAJOR kudos to those who CAN and DO power through those “hurdles.”
I agree with Aleixsteele about why I like spanking. My goal is to have a partner who understands and I have gotten too old to have to deal with it. i have no idea how long my current situation is going to last, personally I would like this to be the last but there are a lot of obstacles. The thought of having to meet someone again and go through the whole process again does not thrill me. Trying to teach someone how to whip the hell out of you with a single tail without doing damage is also not an easy thing. On another note I may have a partner that has a need to spank other people and I have to learn to live with that if I want her to stick around and be happy. Last week i earned 900 wicked strokes with no mercy, tuff act to follow for a vanilla person
I agree with AlexisSteele,too. I prefer to keep spanking and sex separated. I tried sexual spankings, and I didn’t work. It left me completely unsatisfied and frustrated. For me, spanking means discipline, because it’s what I need.
And I completely understand the author: coming out of the closet is hard. I told something to a very close friend of mine, and even if we are still very good friends, she looks at me in a different way. She thinks I like it in a sexual intercourse, just to add something different during sex, and she thinks it’s weird, even if almost nothing has changed between us. I didn’t want, or probably I wasn’t able to explain to her that sex had nothing to do with that. How could I explain to her that some amount of pain, scoldings and other punishments give me a psychological relief, that it makes me feel better? It was very hard to try to explain this to a close friend, I can’t imagine to tell my secret to a possible partner, expecially if you are in love, because you could lose him/her.
I believe that a certain loneliness is the price you have to pay for being like this. But I don’t regret it. I am who I am, and I prefer to be lonely rather than give up on this part of me.
Everyone,
While many of us agree that spanking doesn’t equal sex, it’s fair to say that just as many will disagree. In the end, it’s all about whether those involved are getting what they need from the agreement.
As for ‘finding someone who understands’…well, I did. Which means that anyone can. Really.
Well Dana, I found someone but she will probably being going back to California and I understand why. Chances of finding another one like her? I dunno