Another journal entry from the gentleman who will be known as The Very Bad Boy. His punishment will take place in New York City in upcoming weeks…
*****
“I want you to look me in the eye when you tell me your story”.
I am not looking forward to this at all, I dread having to look
Miss Kane in the eyes and reveal to her the details of my
misbehavior. I especially don’t want to tell her how many times
I repeated the same behavior that I promised my wife I wouldn’t
do. I don’t know what I fear more, having to look her in the eyes
before I tell her what I’ve done or looking her in the eyes after I
tell her. I suspect there will be some moments of silence as she
processes what I have said; I think that is when I am going to be the
most embarrassed and I am sure that is when my guilt and shame
will be the strongest. I wonder if I will have the courage to keep
looking at her or if I will end up just staring at the floor. I can’t
even begin to imagine how she will react when I provide her the
details of my behavior and I have utterly no idea what Miss Kane
will decide is an appropriate punishment for my behavior. I guess
what make this worse is that I have absolutely no excuse for my
misbehavior, I knew what I was doing and I knew it was wrong.
But at the time I suppose I just did not care about the consequences,
well, I guess Miss Kane will help me to start caring about consequences. It’s just too bad that I was so apathetic, but I am the only one to blame for the severe punishment that I will be receiving.
Reality is beginning to set in; as I woke up this morning and realized
that it is the first of May I have an ominous sense of dread. Looking
at the calendar the upcoming date just seems to glaringly jump off the page at me. Even though I see the date on the calendar and I know its coming there seems to be a big vacant spot in the day. I know what will happen before my appointment and I know what will happen after the appointment but I really don’t have any idea what is going to happen during the appointment (Although I suppose I’ll get a spanking at some point). Miss Kane has provided very limited information about the actual visit, although I have enough information to know that the punishment is going to be severe and will certainly be a very unpleasant experience. But what worries me, is the comment “Understand fully well that I will take whatever actions I deem necessary”. This has causes me more mental torment than anything else, what does it mean? It opens the door to a lot of possibilities many of which I would rather not think about. I wish she would just tell me what is going to happen so at least I can be ready, not knowing is agonizing. I feel like a child who is going to the doctor, knowing that he is going to get a shot. But there is nothing he can do to get out of it so all he can do is fret about it and hope it doesn’t happen.
But of course it always does, and so will this.
I am not looking forward to this at all, I dread having to look
Miss Kane in the eyes and reveal to her the details of my
misbehavior. I especially don’t want to tell her how many times
I repeated the same behavior that I promised my wife I wouldn’t
do. I don’t know what I fear more, having to look her in the eyes
before I tell her what I’ve done or looking her in the eyes after I
tell her. I suspect there will be some moments of silence as she
processes what I have said; I think that is when I am going to be the
most embarrassed and I am sure that is when my guilt and shame
will be the strongest. I wonder if I will have the courage to keep
looking at her or if I will end up just staring at the floor. I can’t
even begin to imagine how she will react when I provide her the
details of my behavior and I have utterly no idea what Miss Kane
will decide is an appropriate punishment for my behavior. I guess
what make this worse is that I have absolutely no excuse for my
misbehavior, I knew what I was doing and I knew it was wrong.
But at the time I suppose I just did not care about the consequences,
well, I guess Miss Kane will help me to start caring about consequences. It’s just too bad that I was so apathetic, but I am the only one to blame for the severe punishment that I will be receiving.
Reality is beginning to set in; as I woke up this morning and realized
that it is the first of May I have an ominous sense of dread. Looking
at the calendar the upcoming date just seems to glaringly jump off the page at me. Even though I see the date on the calendar and I know its coming there seems to be a big vacant spot in the day. I know what will happen before my appointment and I know what will happen after the appointment but I really don’t have any idea what is going to happen during the appointment (Although I suppose I’ll get a spanking at some point). Miss Kane has provided very limited information about the actual visit, although I have enough information to know that the punishment is going to be severe and will certainly be a very unpleasant experience. But what worries me, is the comment “Understand fully well that I will take whatever actions I deem necessary”. This has causes me more mental torment than anything else, what does it mean? It opens the door to a lot of possibilities many of which I would rather not think about. I wish she would just tell me what is going to happen so at least I can be ready, not knowing is agonizing. I feel like a child who is going to the doctor, knowing that he is going to get a shot. But there is nothing he can do to get out of it so all he can do is fret about it and hope it doesn’t happen.
But of course it always does, and so will this.
(Enter the ‘Person Place and Thing’ Spanking Story contest – the winner will receive a free spanking session with me, Dana Kane.)
Visit my premium video, DVD, and products website at DanaKaneSpanks.com.
May I start a Journal in advance of my visit to see you when you come to the UK Mistress ?
MarQe
Marqe,
Of course you may, we will discuss it when I have determined my UK dates.
– Dana
I am in the UK, I need a spanking! :P
– Rachel