This entry from another great friend and fellow spanking enthusiast (a non-contestant in the ‘My Birthday Spanking’ contest due to our friendship) is well-penned and really quite funny. Thanks again to my wonderful buddies who take the time and imagination to enter their works – you’re the best.
Enjoy!
– Dana
*****
Out and about at the electronic store that I oh so loved. The newest iPhone had just been released and I was determined to get it no matter I had to do to get it.
I had tried desperately every which way to get the money together to purchase the phone. I begged, tried to borrow even barter. All to no avail. Hours went by, then days, then weeks. My sister and her husband had just gotten the same phone. MY sister who knew absolutely nothing about technology. MY sister who didn’t understand the importance of the A5 processor, or the built in 8mega-pixel camera. MY sister who only got the damn thing cause it came in white! I was outraged, disgusted, and just down right fed up!
It was my day off from work. I counted my money as I did just several hours earlier before bed, hoping that some how the my cash flow had increased while I slept. Adding the disappointment was the dream I had in which I had miracluously found more money waiting for me when I recounted. In reality I was still close to fifty dollars short. With my hopes dashed again I decided I would get this phone today no matter what. Nothing was going to stop me. I was going to right this wrong that fate had done to me. The iPhone would be mine today oh yes it would be mine.
I arrived at the store plotting my move. Not only was I about to teach everyone that I always get what I want but I was going to teach this store that not allowing someone to purchase it for me from another state, and having me pick it up, was complete and utter bull***t. I’ll show them to deny me of my technological rights!
I scoped the place out. Cameras were everywhere. I had to be quick, and I may even have to run. The only comforting sight was the one security guard who was so fat he looked like he’d have a heart attack chasing after me faster then I would running from him. I walked to the cell phone isle and there I saw it. Locked behind a gate. This just became more trickier then I had planned. I took my book bag off my back and opened it fumbling around in it like I was looking for something. Looked around again. I debated if this would work. I considered abandoning the mission. Then I thought about all the injustices that had been done to me. My sister, the technological ***, the store not allowing an online purchase and in-store pickup, no no no, failure was not an option. Kneeling down still fumbling I reached pulled the gate that was being held together by a chain. I reached in and grabbed an iPhone box. I let it go so as not to draw suspicion.
I glanced around and realized no one had seen this. I was amazed. I reached in again and pulled out the box and placed it in my bag. I reached in again and looked up noticing a woman looking at me. I pulled my arm out making it seem as if I was just shuffling the products behind the cage around. Slick on my part I thought. No one in the store had seen me. If they did and I ran they couldn’t pursue me this much I knew from my retail days.
I continued about the store. I looked as if I was browsing other items. I would ocassionally reach in my bag and pull out the sales flyer looking as if I was browsing for a good sale. What I was secretly doing was using the knife in my bag to cut off the alarm attached to the box. I reached in again after the alarm wire snapped and quietly tore apart the box. I reached inside again when suddenly someone came up from behind me.
Damnit! It was the oversized guard. He asked me to come with him. I followed as he took me upstairs. He didn’t say anything to me suddenly to my amazement I saw my arm behind the cage shuffling the boxes. The camera must have been rotating and actually missed me jacking the iPhone.
“Can I leave now?” I asked the guard.
“Sir can you open your bag.”
“Absolutely not, I know my rights and you can’t force me to open my bag. So if you don’t mind I’ll be going now.” I attempted to walk out with my head down and walked right into the big man’s gut.
“Sir, if you don’t open your bag I’m going to have to call the cops. They can and will force you to open that bag.”
I made an attempt to try to run passed the big man but got caught between his stomach and the doorway. The man didn’t even budge. I was beginning to panic. My retail experience had taught me cops really could force me to open the bag, in which case I’d be screwed. I’d end up with no iPhone and a rap sheet. I began to think, maybe a little too quickly because the room was starting to spin. Suddenly there was a knock on the door. The big man opened it and was surprised to see a tall woman with dark jet black short hair standing in front of him.
“Excuse me sir, may I have a word with you.”
The man stepped outside. I figured one of two things was about to happen. This woman was going to rat me out or save my a**. The door reopened and to my surprise the woman walked in and asked me to have a seat.
“It appears we have a problem young man.” she said.
“The only problem I have is my civil rights are being violated! LET ME OUTTA HERE!” I began screaming loudly.
“Young man you better quit your bi***in. The problem we have is that I was really looking forward to buying that iPhone I saw you steal.” she said.
“You didn’t see s**t.” I angerily replied.
“Now is that any way to speak to a lady? Would you like me to help keep you out of jail or not?”
I looked at her not really believing what I had just heard.
“You give me the iPhone that’s in your bag and I will teach you not to steal. You see it’s my birthday and I’m not looking to be here all day so just hand it over and we’ll be on our way.”
“Happy birthday miss…” she cut in to announce her name.
“Dana Kane.”
“Ms. Kane but absolutely not. I’ve earned this iPhone.”
“Ok then I’ll just go tell Biggie Smalls out there to just a head and call the police.”
Suddenly panic struck again, perhaps this was a sign. Maybe this woman was meant to be in the store today to keep me from going to jail.
“Fine, give me the lesson and I will give up the phone.”
She flashed a devilish smile.
“Now we’re talkin. Come over here.”
I walked over to her as she tapped her lap. I was caught by surprise.
“Excuse me?”
“I’m going to teach you a lesson you won’t soon forget now come across my lap.” she said.
“What exactly are you going to do?” I asked dumbly kind of already knowing the answer.
“I’m going to spank you. Naughty boys who like to steal need a firm hand to show them the errors of their ways.”
I couldn’t believe what she had just said. I hadn’t been spanked since I was a little boy. Here was this complete stranger who was offering to spank me to keep me out of jail, and she wanted the phone I so desperately wanted. This was all wrong.
“I’m not going to ask you again young man.” she said sternly.
Surely this had to be some sort of joke. If it was everyone involved was doing a good job at concealing it.
I finally and hesitently laid across her lap. I felt her hands sliding my pants down and quickly shot back up.
“Uh, what the heck do you think you’re doing?” I asked.
She sighed with frustration.
“Well I’m not really going to get my point across by spanking you with your pants up. Now come on I haven’t got all day, I’m going to miss my birthday cake.”
I again hesitently laid across her lap. She pulled my pants down and began running her hands over my exposed cheeks. I couldn’t believe this was happening to me. The feel of her hands was some what comforting and soothing, right before her hand slammed into my left butt cheek. A sudden sting came across my butt. I could feel the heat resonating from the spot she had just assaulted. I couldn’t believe I was allowing this to happen all for a stupid phone. I kept my left hand gripped tightly on my shirt. The slaps came faster and harder and more steady.
I heard the security guard talking outside the door. I also heard another female voice. This voice I recognized.
“Just tell me where my friend is!” She screamed.
“I’ll show you.” The guard replied.
How mortifying, here I was being spanked by this complete stranger and now my good friend Angel Smith was watching it all unfold.
“Young lady please close the door behind you.” Dana said without missing one slap.
Angel looked horrified.
Suddenly the man spoke again “We think she was an accomplice to his theft.”
“WHAT!?! NO!”
“I’m not goingto have to ask you again to close that door am I?” Dana replied.
The guard closed the door leaving Angel and I alone with this woman. My ass was now on fire and I wasn’t sure when she was going to stop. Just as I thought that she did.
“What’s your name young lady?” Dana asked.
“Uh..Angel…Angel Smith.”
“Well Angel Smith don’t just stand there drop those drawers and get on your hands and knees.”
“For what?!?” Angel asked in protest.
“Well hell, if he’s gettin a spankin for stealin, and you’re helpin him that makes you guilty by association.”
“WHAT!!” Angel yelled.
“Kevin, what the hell did you get us into!” Angel screamed at me.
“This was your idea I just followed your plan.” which was a blatant lie, I really just needed Angel for the ride.
“Thats bullshit! Whoever you are…he’s lying I was just driving him here.”
At this point I was on my hand and knees only because it really hurt to sit down. If I was going down Angel was coming with me.
“Oh yeah, you didn’t want that iPod charger?” I blurted out. Angel’s face turned beat red. I wasn’t sure if it was from fear that I had just ratted her out or that I had gotten her in trouble, AGAIN. It wasn’t the first time Angel and I had gotten into hot water, and it probably wouldn’t be the last. The two of us together knew how to make life hell for those around us.
“You sonofa!” Angel yelled before being interupted.
“Both of you quit your whinin. Angel get on your hands and knees or I will walk out of here and let the cops deal with you both. I have a birthday cake waiting for me, and an iPhone.”
Angel got down really slow. She shot me a look that would have killed me if looks could kill. Dana began to lower Angel’s pants slowly. I watched as Angel closed her eyes in a moment of pleasure. I watch intently what was coming next. Sudden the sound of a loud slap echoed throughout the room. Angel took a deep breath in but appeared to have a hard time letting it out. I chuckled which drew the attention back to me.
There we were side by side with our pants down, and this woman who we’ve never met in between us spanking our asses in unison. I gripped my left shirt arm tightly almost to ease the pain. Angel’s screams were getting louder as her a** was turning all different shades of red. I could tell she was having a hard time taking this, much harder then I was. So I decided to speak up.
“Let us leave first and you can have the phone I promise.” I said.
“Oh sweetness, I’m going to have that phone now you hush and take your punishment. You two are bad news. I had to take time out of my birthday to come and discipline you little brats. I should be home eating cake right now but instead I’m workin up a sweat tearin up your hides.”
“Look, Ms. Kane, I’m sorry just lets us go and I promise we’ll never do this again.” the pain was starting to become overwhelming for me too.
“I didn’t do anything!!!” Angel protested.
Our words seemed to fall on deaf ears as Dana just ignored us and continued. Finally she stopped. I heard Angel catching her breath. I was also trying to regain the composure I lost.
“Stand up both of you.” we quickly jumped to our feet. Angel went to pull up her pants, I was rubbing my butt with my hands however the touch was so hot and painful I really couldn’t.
“Turn and look at each other.” we did and were both shocked at how red our backsides were.
“You never know when there might be someone like me in stores. I suggest its in your best interest to behave from now on and keep your grubby little hands off of items you didn’t pay for.” she said.
“You’re both dismissed.” Angel and I picked up our drawers and I went to reach for my bag.
“That stays with me young man!” I put my head down and followed Angel who had already headed for the door.
Dana exited the room and called the security guard back in. As Angel and I emerged from the store we were both still in shock.
“I can’t friggin believe you blamed me for this!” She said.
“Oh be quiet will ya!” I reached in my right pocket and pulled out a small package and tossed it to her.
“Oh my! You got the charger!” her face lit up like a kid on christmas. It had been sometime since poor Angel had been able to use her iPod. I reached in my left pocket and pulled out a square piece of plastic. I tossed it to Angel who’s face lit up even more. She ran over and hugged me tightly. It was the brand new Lady Gaga album. Seeing Angel happy like that made it all worth it.
The security guard and Ms. Dana opened the bag and pulled out the box. They went through the contents. Their eyes lit up looking fierce.
“Why that little sonofa!” Dana yelled.
As Angel and I walked to the car I noticed she looked a bit sad.
“What’s wrong?” I asked.
She lifted her head and looked really unhappy.
“I’m glad you or I didn’t go to jail and all, but I feel bad that you went through all that and came out with nothing. I know how bad you wanted that phone.”
Back in the security room Dana, and the security guard were stunned as they stared into the iPhone box that held the iPod earphone, an iPod charger cable and surprisingly a Blackberry Curve.
As we drove off I unclenched my left hand and slid a brand spanking new iPhone out of my long sleeve.
“It wasn’t a total loss, I have iPod cables at home. Like I always say Angel…I always get what I want!”
THE END
Visit my premium video, DVD, and products website at DanaKaneSpanks.com.