Readers,
The Very Bad Boy and his Wonderful Wife have become great friends and playmates, and I am always extremely grateful to have their happy permission to share some of our exploits.
At our last meeting, I asked The Wonderful Wife to think about composing some thoughts on her role as HoH in their Female Led Domestic Discipline relationship. I have told them both that their relationship is an excellent example of FLDD, and that others would appreciate reading her thoughts – as well as his – on the subject.
To that end, I am happy to share this letter to you all from The Wonderful Wife. While she is entirely too kind when speaking of me, I feel as though her thoughts on DD are right on the money…and worth sharing with others who have an interest in, or are also living, domestic discipline relationships.
– Dana
*****
Dear Friends,
These last seven months we have known Dana has been a wonderful time of growth for me. My husband is the true spanko in the family and I have joined him for the ride. Our Female Led Domestic Discipline (FLDD) relationship works for us, we are so much happier and more content than we used to be. It has not always been an easy transition for us. There were times he was frustrated because he needed me to take a more dominant role in the relationship than I was ready to give. Taking that dominant role was not always an easy thing to do and I struggled with feeling of inadequacy that led him to “top from the bottom” more times than he wanted to do. Meeting with Dana and having her as an example of a true disciplinarian has given me the self-confidence that I needed to embrace my role as the HoH disciplinarian. As I have grown in my role, the VBB is more relaxed and is a lot happier. Our house runs smoother and we communicate so much better. There is no need for fights or stupid disagreements that happen so often with vanilla couples. We have a great way to deal with disagreements, which does not mean I am always right or everything ends with him over my lap. However, he knows there is no getting mad or talking irrational, no sulking and definitely no holding grudges.
The VBB’s pain tolerance is very high. I have had issues with my shoulder and elbow hurting for months on end because of this. Now with Dana’s help I have other methods of dealing with the VBB (much to his chagrin). Things that I would not have thought about or things he did not want me to know she has taught me to use effectively. We did not start out with the perfect plan, our FLDD relationship developed through trial and error. In fact, it started with both of us spanking each other and having a long list of rules that we had to follow. After awhile and after a bit of discussion we decided that he would get the spankings and I would be the disciplinarian. After a few years, we decided to trash the long list of rules and just go with a standard of behavior that I expect him to follow.
If you had asked me a year ago if I would be taking pictures of my husband’s cute behind for a website I would have said you were crazy. I especially never thought I would be going with my husband to see someone else spank him. Now I wish we had started doing this sooner. I have learned so much and grown so much in my role as the HoH, my husband and I are happier because of it. When we first contacted Dana, we asked for her help with a true disciplinary session for my husband. We thought she would deal with him once and that would be the end of it. Fortunately for us she graciously invited us to come again to play with her and the second time I was able to play. Since then she has became a true friend, confidant, and fellow spanker of the VBB’s behind. I have reaped the benefit of that more than once; I especially saw it last month when I once again asked Dana to help me with another true discipline session for the VBB. It was very effective and I do not think he has any desire to repeat it any time soon. Although he knows I would gladly call upon her again if needed. If you have kept up with the VBB’s journals on Dana’s website, you might think that all I do is spank him for discipline reasons. That is not all together true, he does earn his fare share of spankings, but it seem as though I make up just as many reasons for fun. There is just something fun about having him over my lap for a quick little OTK before he leaves for work or for a quick little canning before he goes to bed. Sometimes he challenges me for a spanking and other times I just have a personal need to spank him. I have four different ordinary hairbrushes sitting around the house to have on hand to deal with his quick wit and brattiness. I can quickly get him back on track any time with any one of them.
To this end, I urge you to speak to your spouse about your needs and desires. You may not start out with the perfect plan; it will take a while for the non-spanko to get use to things, but with patience on both your parts it will work out. I would encourage your spouse to read Dana’s blog and learn about all the wonderful things that can happen in a FLDD relationship or even a MLDD relationship. They will have so much information at their disposal and will see how much fun they can have. Take it slowly and do not push too hard, give them time to adjust to the idea and allow them to develop their interest over time. As the spanko it may not be everything you want at first but give your spouse a chance to get use to the idea. As they reap the benefits of a spouse with a warm backside, I am sure they will learn to love it as much as I do.
Visit my premium video, DVD, and products website at DanaKaneSpanks.com.
VBB and his Dominant Partner are so lucky to have each other – and you too, Mistress Kane, and the advice from the Lady is priceless!
My thanks once again, Ma’am, for this marvellous blog and the things that can be learned, as well as enjoyed here – and enjoyment has to be a part of learning, as I’m sure you would be the first to agree, Mistress Kane.
My respects and good wishes as always.
hedgehog
The Wonderful Wife has been very open to the needs of her husband. He is a lucky man. And of course, you have played a role in their happiness. best wishes to all of you.