Dana Kane’s Spanking Story Contest Winner

First Adult Spanking Experience

Ms. Kane, I was born in the first half of the last century. In 1974, after what had been a lifetime of wants and needs for corporal punishment by a Woman Authority Figure, I finally was more afraid of never doing what I always wanted to than I feared the pain or the experience which would transform me irreversibly to the social and even psychological category of “pervert.” This was long before the internet allowed us to break our isolation, and just before the term “Dominatrix” was coined by the adult contact magazine business, but it was the time of the “Los Angeles Free Press,” a tabloid “underground” newspaper which had advertisements of providers of sexual services, masquerading as “Massage Parlors.”

Under the “specialties” section of those advertisements were providers of what was then called “English Massage.” Well, spanking or flagellation was sometimes called “The English Vice.” For me, the archetype of the woman by whom I wished to be punished – and quite severely – was that paradigm of decorous ruthlessness, the English Governess. For someone like me, whose needs seemed to be the punishment of some inner child at the cusp of adolescence, the fictional heroine Harriet Marwood, Governess was my ideal.

Turns out she wasn’t working in *** then, but I made an appointment at a place which called itself something like “The English Palace” up on *** near ***. It had been a motel, I guess, but I was there on time, with rising expectations which come with, at last, lowered trousers. The Disciplinarian was a woman younger than myself, and I wasn’t much over 30 at the time, and she was both very new and very tentative. She wanted to please me,  wanted to give me a good spanking, but just didn’t know how. But by gosh, she tried, and there was something enormously sweet in the experience, even if control of the situation fell to me by default. I don’t even recall what implements she used, or what positions were involved. But it did hurt, and I was grateful for that, and thanked her. At the end of the session she asked me to manage her career as a Dominant, whatever the term was. I declined, but kept that as the best memory of the experience – that it was necessary and possible to make it work for both parties.

Ms. Kane, very fortunately I’ve either had more wonderful experiences than bad or mediocre ones or have the use of traumatic amnesia to erase the unpleasant memories. That’s a bit of a paradox, since I have come to believe is that one reason I seek painful disciplinary spankings is because at some time in the past I unconsciously dealt with a bad painful experience by “eroticizing” it; turning pain and fear and humiliation into pleasures in order to survive and even prevail against them.

My most memorable experience came six or seven years ago, at the hand and will of *** ***, to me the premiere Dominatrix of the *** *** area. She and I had created a friendship before we became Governess/Doctor and young charge, so she knew me quite well. We could improvise our scenes from our knowledge of each other, and from the capacity for make-believe some of us never lose from childhood.

Your site states that you are seeking “incorrigibles.” This screen name, “***” is a variant of one on which I posted on one of ***’s sites as “incorrigible.” Needless to say, she helped me choose this nickname, because it fits my character. I am willful, often forgetful, rebellious, but I hope without disrespect or malice or even resentment to those kind enough to treat me with appropriate severity. So Ms. ***’s self-chosen role was to discipline and when necessary punish the boy within me with the goal of making me the man she and I hoped I would be. That mutual goal became the premise of our disciplinary sessions. It’s not just that she hurt me for my own good. I was cleansed, punished, and brought to atonement so I would go out in the world and do good.

One day in my pre-session check-in call I said that I was wearing jeans, which was probably a dress code violation. Ms. *** took it from there, as soon as she shut the door behind us. She went deep, psychologically, into what seemed a simple naughtiness. She knew that I dreaded hurting anyone inadvertently, such as by an unconscious act of disrespect. Well, all my punishments at her hand began over her knee, a progress of hand and hairbrush and paddles, and then in various positions for the strap and tawse. There were cleansing enemas for which I grated the Ivory soap with a red bottom, there were penmanship exercises, chores, and of course there was the cane. Ms. Kane, I feared that implement. Now I am addicted to it. Ms. *** laid on with a will, but also with Ralgex, a British product similar to BenGay with capsaicin added. Ralgex went on before and after the caning, but at all times, the goals were in mind. She asked if I understood why she needed to be severe. I said I understood and needed her to be severe. We went on for hours, and it was a catharic experience for both of us. The aftercare was mutual. My gosh, it was wonderful.