Readers,
I hope that you’re enjoying all the entries for the ‘Bedtime Story’ writing contest. More thanks to the author of ‘Camelot’, and all the others, for contributing.
– Dana
*****
George Peabody was a very important and powerful man. Though only 27, he was CEO (mostly because of birth, not ability) of Peabody Industries, a scratch golfer, and had the most beautiful woman in town as his wife. The only problem was that George was a prick. There is no other way to put it, he was a prick! The workers at the plant despised him, other members at the country club barely tolerated him and after only 6 months of marriage his wife was ready to divorce him or worse. How do I know all this? I was that George Peabody!
The day that changed everything started out like any other day. I turned down a promotion for one of my best employees, then went to the club and made an ass of myself by drinking too much and then went to a strip club to harass the dancers. By the time I wobbled home it was almost midnight. My lovely wife was waiting for me, which was very unusual in itself and she the weirdest look on her face.
“Tonight was the last straw. Get your drunk ass in this bed! I’m going to read you a story about another man who thought he was so high and mighty and what happened to him is going to happen to you!” Which leads us to our story:
CAMELOT
Our story takes us to a place that existed long ago and far away……well not that long or that far, but you get the gist. All the realm was filled with anticipation as the new King and Queen were about to ascend the throne. King Jack and Queen Jackie were young and vibrant and brought a sense of hope to a place that had been ruled by old King Ike. It was expected that the scoundrel Tricky Dick was to be the next King but Lord Giancana and his merry men put a stop to that. But I digress. Anyway,the times were good, all were prosperous,harvests were bountiful, and King Jack had faced down the Soviet Bear from across the sea. But there was trouble brewing in Camelot……
Now King Jack was a handsome man and attracted many a glance from the maidens. His chief adviser, Prince Bobby was often known to procure the finest milk and lamb fed maidens for the king’s pleasure. The poor Queen suffered in silence not knowing what path to take. Often she was heard sobbing in her bed chambers as the King only a stone’s throw away could be heard partaking in the delight of another beautiful wench. Not even the Court Jester PrinceTeddy could bring a smile to her face…..all seemed lost.
As the days went by the King was spending more time on his escapades then in ruling the country. A war was brewing in a far off land called Nam. A beast called Inflation had become more prevalent. For the first time in his reign the people were starting to protest. The King’s reaction, he raised taxes on the already overburdened populace and had his army patrolling the countryside to quell any unrest. His kingdom was in disarray and his court was not much better. Only the countries love for the Queen kept their subjects in check. Camelot seemed to be on the edge of anarchy.
But the event that changed everything occurred during the celebration of the King’s birth. The Queen had gone to great lengths to hold an event that would be the talk of the villagers for years to come. Everyone was invited. Food and drink were in abundance. Entertainment abounded. Lords Sinatra and Martin sang. There was a jousting tournament,archery contest and pin the tail on the dragon. Hope sprung eternal. Then it happened. The most beautiful lady in the realm dared to approach the King and sing her rendition of ‘Happy Birthday’. A haze of discomfort floated over the proceedings. Not only was the Lady Marilyn attempting to serenade the King but her lack of attire led one to believe she had other plans for him as well. TMZ, the town crier, had often speculated whether the King had carnal knowledge of Lady Marilyn. It seemed so…That was the last straw for Queen Jackie. She had suffered her last humiliation at the hands of that swine. Something had to be done and with the help of the gods it would be. The Queens closest friend and confidant just happen to be the Royal Disciplinarian, Lady Ethel. Woe to the miscreant forced to the tower to endure a session at her hands. So between the two a plan was hatched. After the King passed out from too much grog, a close group of the Queen’s inner circle would snatch him from his bed, truss him up and deliver him to the tower.
As the King stirred from his stupor, he found himself bent over a bale of hay with his royal buttocks on display for all to see. Iron rings in the floor secured his arms and legs leaving him unable to move. Among the crowd watching this spectacle were all the castle staff who were often humiliated and treated like scum by the King. Also there were the King’s closest advisers and a handful of the town elders. Emotions ran high as the Queen entered the chamber. What was happening? Who is in charge?
In no uncertain terms the Queen answered all their questions and more. To continue in power, the King must submit to a thrashing at the hands of Lady Ethel. Also taxes were to be reduced and government spending held in check. A council would be formed to meet with King to air any grievances the populace might have. All the King had to do was put his X on the agreement.
What choice did he have. Had he really been that bad? Did his subjects hate him so. And what a cad he had been. Poor Queen Jackie. The X was drawn and the trashing began.
At that time the tool of choice was the cane. The sentence of choice was 50 strokes. The intensity of choice was ‘well laid on’. That is how the punishment was administered. After 25 strokes, Lady Ethel started to tire and the Queen took over. It was not any easier for the King. After each stroke, the staff would cheer and comment on their effectiveness. Any stroke not met as such was repeated. And to clarify, the same sentence was to be administered once a week until the fall harvest, many months away. The King’s throne did not get much use for many a day.
All was well in Camelot. Hope and prosperity returned. A kinder, gentler King was overseeing the kingdom with compassion and caring. Only Queen Jackie caught his eye as all the chambermaids were now men. A new group was formed in the castle called “The Secret Service” who’s only job was to prevent the ladies from accosting the King.
How does our story end? Well Lady Marilyn joined an acting troupe and went on to stardom. Lord Bobby tried to be king and had the people’s support but his life was snuffed out by an infiltrator. Teddy also tried to be king, but an indiscretion where he drove his cart into the moat ended those plans. As for the King and Queen? King Jack never really changed. He always had an eye for the ladies. Not a year later he was assassinated in an outer province, many think by Lord Giancanna at the behest of the Queen. There was no evidence, not a clue was left behind. As for the Queen, she went on to become Lady O and marry the world’s richest merchant.
“That was quite a story my dear, what does that mean for us?” The same sort of contract had been prepared for me to sign and the first 50 were administered that night. Needless to say George Peabody was a changed men. A kinder, gentler version…..people were amazed. You might think the moral of the story was even the most powerful men can get their comeuppance but to me their was a different meaning….
did I tell you my wife’s maiden name was Gotti?
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