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You are NOT alone : Visitor Stats

Everyone,

There’s a feeling of isolation that sometimes comes along with being a bit different than those around us (the truth is that all of them are different, too, somehow, than everyone else) and we sometimes feel all alone in the world. Especially when you’re a part of some sort of minority, ours being the spanking-motivated kind, we all have occasion to feel as though we’re surrounded by people ‘other’ than us. As a way of relieving that notion, every year I have this handy little statistical thingy in the sidebar of my blog. As you can see, you can hardly toss a rock without hitting a fellow spanko, at least in many parts of the world..

Spanko blog visitors,

beginning January 1, 2014:

Flag Counter

Now, this little widget is just a code written by some cool folks which I’ve added to the blog. There’s also something called Analytics, which records daily visitors (along with a whole host of other boring/unrelated stats) for the week, month, year, and so on.

Per Analytics for this blog, the number of individual users who’ve visited since January 1, 2014 :

Individual Users

138,498

 

So no excuses! If you’re not spanking/being spanked in your current life, you can’t blame a lack of willing co-participants – unless, of course, you’re that one guy in Angola…

–  Dana
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New epub – Mostly True Stories: Girls I’ve Spanked

Mostly True Stories : Girls I’ve Spanked

Five fun, semi-fictional gross categorizations of some of my more interesting female playmates.

F/f spanking stories

Chapter 1 : The Queen of Excuses

Chapter 2 : Model Behavior

Chapter 3 : The Hot Mess

Chapter 4 : Miss Straight and Narrow

Chapter 5 : The Fun Girl

 

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Spanking PSA : Pobody’s Nerfect

 

The idea of discipline, whether it’s the self-inflicted kind or the kind administered by a loving friend (or total stranger..whatever floats your boat) is that one is meant to be somehow improved after said discipline has taken place. I think this is the case no matter what the ‘discipline’.

In terms of self-discipline, this may mean that you’re going to exercise more or eat more healthfully or call your old granny more than once a year – whatever it is that you feel the need to exert self-discipline in order to achieve, that’s where you focus. And, if you keep at it long enough, it’s likely that you’ll succeed. Due to this success, you earn the right to be proud of yourself (and you should exercise that muscle regularly), thereby positively reinforcing the self-discipline and awarding the achievement with a sense of self-satisfaction.

When we speak about corporal discipline, it seems to me as though the course of actions/reactions are somewhat similar: one receives a disciplinary spanking (or caning or strapping or whuppin’ or thrashing or whatever) in order to address less-than-stellar behaviors in hopes that the repeated application of this will lead to an aversion to those negative behaviors. In the same way that we exert our energies toward self-discipline, together with your disciplinarian you exert energies- physical, mental, emotional – into the process of ‘clearing the slate’…focusing on better future outcomes. Just as with self-discipline, if you (both) keep at it, you’ll likely succeed in altering those unwanted behaviors, which will make you feel better. Which will make you proud of yourself. Which will…you get the idea.

 

But.

Perfection is never the goal. Nobody should strive for perfect behavior, perfect attendance, or even perfect table manners. ALL of us need to honk the horn in traffic once in a while, and everybody needs to skip out on something they really promised to attend occasionally, and we all  – certainly – should place our elbows firmly on the table in front of our in-laws every now and again. Just to keep things from getting boring.

Don’t kick yourself in the fanny if you don’t manage to achieve every single little thing you’re working toward, all at once. Cut yourself some slack. Remember that you’re human, and change takes time, and that, no matter how much you fix,  you’ll still never be perfect. Thank goodness.

What I’d like from all my regular playmates who’re participating in discipline programs is to forego your usual AR’s this week in favor of a firm pat on the back for yourselves. Screw the stuff that didn’t go well, and give yourself an immense amount of credit for the simple fact that you’re working on it. And you’ll get there. Write and tell me how awesome you are, and mean it.

For anyone else who’s having a hard time meeting their goals, let’s agree to a short moratorium on self-loathing, guilt, and blaming ourselves. Take a week off from trying to make  yourself ‘better’ and make a list of all the things about yourself which are, in this very minute, just damn dandy. Then pin that list to your bathroom mirror and read it every morning. You probably rock much harder than you realize.

pobodys-nerfect

– Dana

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Ms Mona Rogers – How will you Surrender?

 

Those of you who live in or around New York City, or get the chance to visit from time to time, have probably heard of my friend Ms Mona Rogers already. She’s one of the most skilled, intelligent, gorgeous Dommes on the planet, in my not-so-humble opinion, and has recently rolled out a new design on her website, MsMonaRogers.com.

ms mona rogers

Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

While Mona is known as a creative, crafty Dominatrix, she’s also one hell of a spanker and excels at domestic scenes. Whether you’re interested in spanking or other, more broad BDSM-related pursuits, it’d be a shame to live your whole life without having met her…trust me.

 

mona rogers

I’ll bet that paddle packs a hell of a wallop.

MsMonaRogers.com

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Closing in on 42 : A Musical Interlude (TUS)

 

Music resonates with all of us – it soothes the Savage Beast, or something. Also, if you’re lucky, it has a good beat and you can dance to it! (American Bandstand reference. Anyone? Anyone…? Crickets.)

But I digress, which I understand happens far more frequently as one ages. Also losing eyeglasses, from what I’ve heard, so I’ve personally amassed a collection of reading glasses that would make Fred G. Sanford proud. (Crickets again.)

Seems like another sure sign of aging is making references to things from decades ago which many of your readers will NOT understand…move along young people, nothing to see here.

 

Back to music. Some things we love because they’re the soundtracks of our youth, and some we love because they remind us of a person or event in our lives. And sometimes it’s just a kickass song. Well, I’m from the sticks (the country, the woods, Down South, or, as we from there not-so-lovingly refer to it: BFE), so there’s a whole lotta fiddle in the soundtrack of my youth, and a whole bunch of old country ballads about love, loss, whiskey, trucks, trains, and swimmin’ holes. Lots of folks say that they hate country music for just these reasons, but my redneck heritage leads me to feel differently. There’s good newer stuff too, to be fair. So let’s take a short listen to some great songs you’ll probably hate if you’re not from the south. Listen anyway – it’s my birthday.

 

Mamma’s Don’t Let Your Babies Grow Up to Be Cowboys – Willie Nelson and Waylon Jennings

A quintessential country song..

 

 

I Will Always Love You – Dolly Parton

The original, the one-and-only, beautiful..

 
 

Jambalaya – Hank Williams

You cannot not love this song (unless, of course, you’re from anyplace else in the world, probably)…

 
 

Boondocks – Little Big Town

The country song which most reminds me of home..

 
 


But not all that music I grew up on was country, western, and cajun/creole; some of that music was rock and roll. My daddy was a bit of a wild child and grandma’s records weren’t the only ones playing on the home stereo. From that mixed bag of influence comes my favorite song of all time. From a girl born just a few miles from me, who also hated/loved her small-town upbringing. Boy, did she get a LONG way from southeast Texas!…

 

Me and Bobby McGee – Janis Joplin

Is there really anything else to say here? This is music history. Just listen..


 
 

 Fat Bottomed Girls – Queen

If you have to ask why I love this song, you have not been paying attention..

 
 

You Shook Me All Night Long – AC/DC

Oh hellyeah..

 
 
 
Then there’s this – possibly one of the most lyrically perfect songs ever (in my humble and not-to-be-challenged opinion).
 

Carnival  –  Natalie Merchant

If there is such a thing as a ‘second favorite’ song, this is mine…

 
 

And finally, in a bid to fairness, the song which – since the very first time I heard it – I find the most irksome on the entire planet.

 
 

Thanks for sticking around with me for another year – you all ROCK (and roll).

– Dana

P.S. For those so inclined, the birthday wishlist is HERE.

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Spanking PSA : Try Not

 

How many times have we all said, “I’m going to try to do better” or, “I’m trying to eat healthier and exercise” or “I’m trying to treat my spouse with more respect”?

I know how many  times I’ve heard statements like these in a disciplinary setting, and it almost always irritates me. Here’s why :

 

We shouldn’t have to TRY to do things we already know how to do. We *try* new things, not old ones. Respect is something we all learn/experience/view at a young age; healthy living is no secret, considering we’re all told from the outset what’s ‘bad’ and ‘good’ for us.

Is this making any sense?

You don’t *try* to drive to work. You just do. Because you already know how.

You don’t *try* to chew your food properly before swallowing. You just do. (Or you don’t, in which case Natural Selection takes place.)

I could do a lot of these silly ‘you don’t *try* things, but hopefully we’re on the same page now idea-wise..

 

Why, then, must we try so hard to take good care of ourselves, be nice to the people we love, and do good things for our communities and fellow people?

Why does everyone have to TRY so damn hard to do the Right Thing?

Just do it.

Because you already know how.

dana kane try not
Listen to Yoda

–  Dana

 

 

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Video Q&A #2 : Better late than….oh hell, it’s just late.

 

You’ve probably forgotten all about this VQA, but I haven’t…it’s just been sitting on one of the back burners a bit too long. However, after weeks of diligent procrastination, I’ve finally managed to sit still long enough to complete the task.

Thanks to everyone for participating, and even more for being patient.

–  Dana

 

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In the News : Helping depression/addiction with spanking therapy?

 

Well well well…

This article, taken from the often silly but just-as-often correct pages of a uk online magazine, claims that doctors in some country or other are finding that corporal punishment stimulates areas of the brain, thereby releasing endorphins (“happy chemicals in the brain”) and making people relax.

 

My 25 cents:

When you’re stressed, anxious, depressed, sick, tired, chock-full of foreign substances (drugs, alcohol, medications, etc), or all of the above – your brain doesn’t get the chance to produce and use all those yummy Happy Chemicals you need in order to be a Smiley Boy or Girl, instead of a grievous, bitchy monster or tearful shell of your former self. Lack of neurotransmitters like Seratonin and Dopamine change the brain’s chemistry and operation, sometimes drastically, making you or me or anyone else experiencing it feel less than our best. The pharmaceutical market makes BILLIONS of dollars selling us antidepressants, anti anxiety medications, anti-whatever-else they can come up with…..and then sexual stimulators to help us get over all the other stuff we’ve pumped ourselves full of in the name of  a Good Mood.  You usually also then have to take a handful of other over-the-counter medications to offset the side effects of the original medicine, all of which also cause some sort of wonkiness in your poor, drenched-yet-oddly-still-depressed body.

Do you feel better yet? Yeah, I didn’t think so.

 

 

A Good Thrashing really DOES help.

 spanking therapy

Imagine that.

 

This is something that we spankos have discussed for years – decades, probably – and I can personally speak to the many times I’ve seen playmates, friends, and other participants in spanking play find peace, mentally and phycially, from the activity.

Physical discomfort releases ENDORPHINS. That’s plain, simple, and a firm, fixed medical fact.  When that physical discomfort is carried out and accepted in a positively reinforced, loving, empathetic manner, the likelihood that a spankee’s endorphins will rise and leave him/her ‘clearer’, ‘energized’, and ‘more focused’ (all quotes from current playmates) increases dramatically. I have one friend who uses her spanking playtimes as therapy for fibromyalgia, and has her own two-plus years of spankings as hard evidence – regular, firm spanking sessions reduce the pain of her fibro.  Even our illustrious Erica Scott has written at length about her own battles with depression and other issues, which were (and still are, regularly, to the great good fortune of everyone who gets to see the photos) greatly helped by her participation in weekly spanking play.

In my personal experience, I’ve had more conversations than I could possibly recount, all about the myriad ways that spanking improves mood, disposition, and general feelings of well-being. We’re not going into the sexual wellness realm, as prudishness precludes my getting too steamy here, but I believe you’ll agree it’s fair to say that, even when it’s strictly platonic, spankings are hot. They get our blood pumping, our thoughts racing, and many times we both work up a good, healthy sweat in the process. How can one walk away from a physically intense, intimate experience (which provides them a dose of Endorphins about as effective as three cups of Irish Cream-spiked-cappuccino) and NOT feel better?

 

 

This is not a joke, not a hoax, and not a load of BS.

behavior modification

Physical discomfort ‘resets’ the brain.

(Go ahead, stump your big toe hard on the coffee table and see if you can still remember what you walked into the room for.)

Again, I’m ALWAYS talking about adult spanking here, folks. I don’t converse or opine on childhood spankings on this blog, even though I had them (lots of them) myself, and have very definite opinions on the subject. No, this is all about Adult Spanking – and I’d love someone to prove to me that it does NOT positively affect the brain chemistry of those open to the idea.

Anyone?

 

(crickets)

 

 

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Conversations with Spankos : Men in Panties

 

So what’s the deal with guys wearing panties, anyway?

There seems to be some confusion.

men-wearing-panties

 

There are lots of reasons why a man might find himself interested in ladies panties, but I want to talk about the reasons he may want to try them on..

 

Some men who wear underthings designed for women identify as cross dressers, and this identification often includes other items of women’s clothing worn along with those lacy briefs (thongs usually don’t work for guys, for obvious reasons). Cross dressing doesn’t necessarily indicate transgender or homosexual interest – it’s common for hetero-identified, ‘masculine’ men to cross dress.

Others like to wear panties but don’t really care for all the other accouterments of feminine dress (okay, maybe the occasional pair of nude thigh-high stockings..) – I fondly call these fellas ‘panty boys’. They’re just into the feel and texture and fit of the garment, and there’s still something slightly naughty about wearing them.

 

There’s a common misconception that a man in panties is something less than attractive…I cannot imagine why. Just look at the above screengrab – taken from a recent youtube video showing guys trying on panties for the first time – those perky, satin-covered bums look pretty cute to me.

 

Several of my male playmates choose to wear panties for their spankings, and many more have been ‘sentenced’ to the task. I am always tickled under any circumstance by which I can see one of my Tough Guys tucked into one of Victoria’s better-kept secrets.

Guys, where are you on this? (Obviously, you can comment anonymously) Are you into the occasional full-bottom satin brief? If so, care to explain it to those who may not understand?….

And ladies, what about you? Does the idea of your man/partner/spankee in panties make you giggle, or cringe? Why?

 

–  Dana