Readers,
I’m sure that this has been done before, and probably more thoroughly than I’ll manage here, but we do have newcomers to the spanking community every day and not everyone knows where to look for basic information on the ins and outs and all-arounds of spanking.
So. I thought that it would be a fun idea to do a series of posts to offer some basic (and not-so-basic, eventually) stuff for newbies to peruse. I’ll invite experienced players to expand on my posts in the comments area below, so that your collective wisdom can help inform others…remember, we were all clueless about all of this at one time.
It seems that a good place to start is with some basic terminology. Even though this stuff appears to go without saying to some of us, even the most common spanko terms may be confusing to newbies. With that said, let’s cover some of the most common spanking terms..
(Please keep in mind that some folks will define a few of these terms somewhat differently, depending upon their personal experience/preferences, and it’s important to discuss these things with anyone new with whom you play/communicate.)
Spanko – Short for ‘spankophile’, it’s a term which we use to refer to ourselves and others with an interest in spanking and domestic discipline/corporal punishment. (Note: Spankophile does not appear in the dictionary, nor am I trying to overcomplicate a simple term. These words and explanations are here to help NEWBIES when they see words they may not understand (in our parlance).)
Top – A person, of any gender, who only gives spankings but does not receive them.
Bottom – A person who only receives spankings but does not give them.
Switch – A person who both gives and receives spankings. Some switches may refer to themselves as a “50/50” switch (meaning they equally enjoy both top and bottom roles), or a “mostly-toppy” switch (meaning that they like to bottom occasionally but prefer to top), etc. etc.
*Note: Switching can also refer to the act of spanking someone or being spanked with a switch, as in “Go cut me a switch.”
Corporal Punishment – This occurs when one person uses physical touch, either with hand or implement, on one or more parts of the body, with the intent to cause another physical discomfort.
Discipline – This occurs when one is held accountable, through corporal punishment, for negatively-perceived behavior.
Punishment – See Discipline. Usually, the difference between these two terms is subjective to the level of negative behavior and the agreement of the parties involved.
Maintenance – These spankings usually occur on a regular or semi-regular basis, and are most often for the purposes of keeping one ‘on the right track’, so to speak, either mentally, physically, emotionally, or all of the above.
Non-Corporal Punishment – Often used in tandem with spanking, these activities include corner time, mouth-soaping, writing/reading assignments, and many others.
Role Play – Within the context of a spanking ‘scene’, role play refers to the top, bottom, or both, taking on the persona of another person or time. Examples include: teacher/student, boss/employee, etc.
Limits (or Hard Limits) – This is usually meant to indicate ‘no-go zones’, and are subjective to the player. Example : “My hard limits include bondage, canes, and thigh spanking.” This means that the example person does NOT want bondage or canes utilized during spanking play, nor do they wish to be spanked on their thighs.
We’ll take our time to cover the myriad terms, sayings, and situations we use within the spanko community, but if you’ve a question about any basic spanko terms (or have any to add), please share here.
– Dana
What? There is a hard limit for spanking the thighs? How come I did not know this? I would like to make spanking my thighs a hard limit. Thank You
The rules don’t necessarily pertain to you, our VBB, as you should know by now.
PS. The longer we go between playtimes, the worse it’s going to be for you when we do, thighs and all.
I do, too. Last time I got my arm held behind my back while trying to protect my poor upper thighs from a hand-spanking assualt. She always tells us the important stuff when it’s too late… I’m sure your request will be honored though.
That being said, I look forward to seeing the marks on your thighs when one of you posts the after pictures ;)
Although I have definite favorite implements, I’m open minded to allow any implement used on my butt/upper thighs. But NO WAY NO HOW would I agree to getting hit across my head,face, calves, feet or back.
Other hard limits are NO to mouth soaping and bondage. A grab of my hand if I try to block a spank is fine, but I would never agree to being bound or wrapped in place to prevent me from kicking or pounding my fists in response to the sting.
Being ordered to cut my own switch could be interesting. I might be tempted to flat out refuse…at first. If one happened to break then that’s on my top to select the next one.
As for corner time and writing lines, I could deal with those. MAYBE I could even bribe someone to write or type the lines FOR me. :)
I appreciate the explanation of these terms. I’ve read that, unlike at parties, there aren’t any safe words in a discipline session. I would guess there may not any hard limits, either. Alexis, if you’d been where I was, you wouldn’t have been tempted to refuse. At least, not twice. You’da been eatin’ off the mantelpiece for a week.